Monday, April 06, 2009

Lets get personal

Right now I have lots of things on my mind. First off, remember the person I was missing in my last post? Well... after a few texts and phonecalls, we found out that we stll liked eachother and decided to give it go. I'm very happy about this but all of a sudden unsure as well. Like is this what I really want? Can I handle being in a long-distance relationship..something I told myself I'll never do. And to be honest I'm totally clueless about this relationship thing.. cuz this is my first proper relationship with someone I actually really like. And I still don't think I can totally commit to one guy...I'm to used to being free to mingle and all that....*sigh* thats a whole load of questions but I'll just see how it goes and not take this too seriously.

Other things in my head. I miss my best friend. She was my best friend when I was younger..we drifted apart due to distaance and just basically growing up but then we kinda became friends again although this renewed frindship was short lived. The thing is I felt like I was the one who did everything, I visited her, I was the one always calling etc and I always felt like she was in control of our friendship. I am a very independent person and so I hated feeling like I was being controlled or whatever and so I decided I'ld just let go and leave her alone. If she didnt call me I wouldn't call her and basically our friendship fizzled out. It's sad cuz she was someone I always felt I could confide in and I miss that cuz there's not many people I feel that way about and I think I want to reach out again. Don't know if its a wise move...cuz she might end up taking me for granted again..or maybe I was just being paranoid bout everything and the real issue is me?

Even if it isnt a wise choice, this is not the first time I'ld do something stupid. I always see to be making the wrong choices. Lord I need WISDOM!

I have quite a few stuff lined up for easter so I'm tres excited! Hope you guys are looking forward to the easter break as well..

lots of love Mon cherie(s)


Abujamaiden said...

Goodluck with the LDR (Long distance relationship) What will be will be but you have to work at it right?


BSNC said...

yes just take your time and see how it goes. yea same thing happened to my cousin, she thought she was doing all the work with her friend. i hope she doesn't take you for granted. have a nice easter break too

Ladi said...

My Bf haven't seen snce secondary school but we still talk a lot as in like hrs-long conversations. Its cheaper for her to call while I text or yh msg chat her.

Buttercup said...

awwww sweetie, im happy for u! dont think, just enjoy! thats my new mantra..

i feel u on missing ur bestie..i also miss a friend i had, she was my bro's gf but they broke up and there was some drama surrounding it so we aint friends anymore..

but yea, dont force it..i'd do the same thing if i were in ur shoes..

CultureCynic said...

awww i hope the relationship blosoms, wishing u insight to see it thru. and on u missing ur bestie, it cld very well be that u slowly grew apart just because u grew out of each other. it is sad to say but alot of ppl that we may have considered intergral parts of our life at one point or another end up becoming only a miniscle part of it as we get older and become who we are meant to be.

Missing her is natural, especailly missing her as your confidant, but u have to be real with yourself and ask urself if she felt the same way ...i.e did she consider you her confidant as well. Friendships like any other relationship coupling is a two way traffic, u shouldnt be the one making contact , or doing all the work, becuz deep down u will end up resenting her for it , even if u become friends under the old circumstances and u never tell her how u really feel.

It is defintly hard to find a true bestfriend, unfortuntly alot of ppl will just be practice to teach and show u what u want and dont want in a friendship, and certainly anyone taking u for granted is never the point.

I hope u can get sorted darling, but remember life is entirely too short to live it feeling underappreciated. Make tons of friends, find the ones that r best friends and start opening up and confiding in them, not everyone is meant to be a best friend.


MissLove said...

Honey long distance aint the best oh I am in one it is not funny but oh well do what your heart tells u to although sometimes it is weird that we don't even know what we want *sighs*

Tiwa said...

@ AbujaMaiden: Thanks! and yeah will try my best :-)

@BSNC: Yeah I hope so too but probably the best thing to do is not to allow that to happen and just let things be as they are

@Ladi: hey bbz. yeah I'm realising that keeping in touch will create a dent in my pocket but its all gud

Tiwa said...

@ Buttercup: Thanks luv. "don'think, just enjoy" will try and adopt that mantra as well cuz bbz cannot kill herself.

@ Culture Cynic: howdyu always manage to hit the nail on the head? all well n good that I miss her but if she does not hold our friendship in such high esteem I will def move on and hopefully take a lesson with me

@ Miss Love. Hmm..I know, I never thought i would be doing this but he was never in the equation then. I know I said I wasn't sure what I wanted but I think I'ld rather have him a thousand miles away that not have him at all. But we're just starting out so we'l see if I'm actualy right

Afunto baby! said...

I know how u feel.. there some ppl dat r just not worth the stress sha.. i dont think u sud bother cuz if she really values the friendship how u do, she wud b callin u and txtin u as much as u doo not matter what...

Blanche Truffle said...

LOL @ Abujamaiden's use of LDR! I don't advice them! But when the bond is strong,the relationship is blissful .I mean see buttercup and chari,they're happy!

Pray har and good luck with your choices. I don't elieve in wrong choices!

Afunto baby! said...

Hey there, Ive totally gone private now sooo imma need for you to send me your email addy to me at soo I can invite you to see/view my blog..xo