Monday, October 23, 2006

The emancipation of my mind

Hi everyone! the thought of coming back home for half-term was all that was on my mind about a week ago, right now I'm thinking " I'm so freakin tired of this house I wanna go back to school!" Yesterday, I was looking forward to meeting my friends in church and getting into some holy spirit groove. Needless to say, I was quite dissapointed, I just didn't get the same high I normally get from going to church. I guess it's more to do with me than with the church.

Right now, I'm trying to get(my mum's trying to get) a ticket to lagos for this christmas and its so freakin expensive!I hope I still get to go.

On to someting entirely different, I am a very complicated person. Oh so complicated, sometimes I myself don't believe the stuff that goes on in my head but the thing is this complication does not go outside my mind it just stays in there. I have built this wall around myself, no one can get into my mind because if you know what I know, if you know all what I've been through, if you know what I think , you might think I'm wierd or you might pity me or you might just never talk to me. I'm just so scared to let anyone in and I've done this for so long that now I fear that no one knows me at all. When I come to think of it no one really knows me at all even the close friends that I have, most of the time I'm quiet. So everyone thinks I'm just quiet but they don't know that I have so many words I wanna say but they just won't come out and I just end up just doing surface talking about things that don't really matter or concentrating on every other person. I'm just living, breathing, walking, talking because i have to. All my passions, wants, fears are hidden so deep inside me that most of the time they don't exist. And now, I'm tired of being this person that I'm not or rather of not being the person that I really am. Everything I have stored is now eating me up inside. I want to let go of all the inhibitions I've placed on myself. I have enough things to blame for my closing up but what's the point, I'll just be a victim of life and that's what I don't want to be, a victim. I will not be pitied. I, am responsible for whatever I become, not my circumstances, I am responsible for my life not the people around me. It might be hard but I'll take it step by step, not being afraid to be me.

Okay, before your mind starts doing 360, I am not a lesbo ok?!Its just other stuff bout me that peeps don't know. I hate acknowledging the bitter parts of my life, it's just that sometimes they come up and it's stuff that nobody knows I've been through or I still go through so there's no one to talk to it about and I just have to let it out somewhere. Thank God for anonymity in the blog world.

Y'all have a safe week. Bless!

Sunday, October 15, 2006


Hey everyone! I've been quite busy in skool so I haven't really had time to blog. Yesterday we had socials and it was half crap- half alrite, we were actually dancing to YMCA I mean... but it was quite fun watching all the drunk people perform. There was this particular girl, her boyfriend broke up with her like 2 weeks ago because she slept with another guy when she was drunk. Anyways, so yesterday, the girl now got drunk and started begging the boyfiend to dance with her, he refused cuz as at now he hates her, then she started shouting and punching the guy and begging at the same time. As if that was not enough madness for one night, she pulled off her top on the dance floor. I just couldn't help laughing!
Nyways, I've been seeing the reviews on the Thisday show and I'm so sad I wasn't in Naija for it but it's not like if I was in Naija I would have gotten the 25k to pay but at least I would have felt their effect more.
Thanks for the comments on my last post, though I can't publish them on my blog something was wrong but I've fixed it now for future comments.
Last week, we had to write on somebody we admired, dead or alive, that had affected the society in a good way, singers, politicians whatever and present it to the class.I didn't get to give the presentation but I was gonna talk about Bono. I think he's really wonderful. I'm not so into his music (although its really good) but I think what he's done with the live8 thing is amazing. He's so selfless and very determined to help these poor countries have a better life and he's done it not just by asking for donations and all that but through his talent music.
So if you guys had to write on the same topic, who would you write about and why? I would like to know!thanks
That's all folks till next time. Hasta la bista!