Friday, June 16, 2006


Wish my head was this clear
My mind is going through a dejunking process right now. This is because lately my thoughts have been filled with so many things. There always so many emotions, memories, plans, worries going through my head. And now I'm almost drowning in them and I barely have space to think about other things. Since my thoughts were so clouded, I couldn't think straight when it came to important things like God, school and all the other things i was supposed to be thinking about. I just couldn't get my priorities straight. I really miss those days when i didn't think about anything, when I never had trouble sleeping because my head was brimming with thoughts , I only thought when I needed to say something or I was trying to remember stuff during exams or when I had to call the coming week's hairstyle. So I decided I was going to stop thinking. But how can I? So I decided I was just gonna reduce the things I thought about and clear my mind to give it enough space to think clearly about the things I ought to. So my main prorities are
1.God,establishing and maintaining a relationship with him
2. School, to continue to learn everything that i can and excel in this area
3. Myself, taking care of myself and making sure I always keep a clear head to be able to plan for my future
Mostly, i just want to live life to my satisfaction and get the best out of it so that I don't have any regrets later and I can't do this without a clear head. If I keep thinking about things I want to do but never do them, my thoughts are just a waste of time. It's better to go out and do them rather than just thinking about it. Moreover, if I think too much I will just kill myself and believe me, I'm not ready to die. So here's to a long life with a clear head!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

So little yet so much

Like her I can't resist the windows

These days, I find myself wanting almost everything I see and I can't help but see! This is because on my way to and from school, I have to go through the shopping mall and once I see the beautiful displays, I'm like a zombie. I have to go in and check out the store. You're probably thinking that once I get in, I'm going to spend all my life savings or at least come out with a thing or two. But thats were you're wrong, I barely spend a penny.
Why? because I've got no cash to spend. I,ve got no job and I don't get ema(education maintenance allowance) from school. How do I survive? Basicaly I rely on small change from my many uncles and aunties and money from my mum only when a member of my family goes to lagos, Nigeria. Sadly, my source of income has been going down lately. When I first arrived in london, only last year, my family members were very generous and were always blessing me with money. This was because they hadn't seen my face in a long while and since i was just coming from Nigeria, they wanted to feel like big london aunties and uncles. Now, after about 10 months of seeing my face, it has lost its effect on them and now that I have become one of them that is a london gal, they don't have to feel big anymore. So as my face becomes more familiar, the money i recieve reduces.
The little money i get is spent on transport and other very basic things. It's not like I really need money, i just want to buy clothes and shoes and make up and basically anything that catches my eye. So now i have started looking for a job(against my mum's wish, she doesn't think i need any money apart from what I get from her. Ha!) so i can satisfy my ojukokoro (greedy) eyes.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Good looks

Everybody wants to look good, they wanna have Jessica alba's face on jlo body. Because their is so much pressure to be beautiful, so every one tries to hide their imperfections and become these beautiful people. While it's a good thing to be beautiful, the truth is not everybody can be Jessica alba and Jennifer Lopez at the same time .We all think that if we had a prettier face, life would be better or we would have more friends or if we weren't so fat, we wouldn't feel insecure, or will be able to have the confidence we need. True, a pretty
face will attract more friends but if you were insecure when you were ugly you'll be insecure when you're beautiful, if you want to have friends, go out and make them yourself don't wait for your pretty face to attract them to you. Once you feel beautiful on the inside you can do even more than what a pretty person can do. If you felt beautiful on the inside you wouldn't be afraid to walk in a room and be the centre of attention because your mind wouldn't be dwelling on how many wrinkles or spots you have on your face it' ll be dwelling on how your beautiful inside can touch the people around you.