Buzzzzz

For the first time in a while my head is buzzing with things to write. Such a buzz would normally produce a meaningful bunch of words that all together form a post worth reading. However as this buzz was/is generated in my humble head it is most likely to fall below expectations and come out in an incoherent form of rambling (something I am quite skilled at), so bear with me.

Before I start I need to rant about why most guys my age seem to be stagnating in a pit of immaturity and foolishness. Seriously, talk about people needing to kick start their brains instead of constantly trying to remind us of the existence of their precious organs by drawing sweet little pictures of them on anything they possibly can!
Phew!

Yeah, so back to other stuff, I have been busy studying for my exams which are supposed to be like an all consuming priority at the moment… (So tell me what I’m doing writing this post and flicking through blogsville for gossip??) Anyhoo, I’m sure I’ll be just fine (feel free to scoff at this point with comments such as “be deceiving yourself”). As I was saying...been busy studying so things in general are a bit dull. The end is drawing near and school as I know it would sadly/happily soon be over.

Been thinking, why do people love money so much? Stupid question right? I mean everyone likes money but mehn! Some people love money so much to the point that they are slaves to money. As in, I-would-sell-my-mother-for-money kind of love and this as the wisest book says “is the root of all evil”. No truer words have been said.

Lately, it’s like God has been opening my eyes to the things I usually ignore. I have begun to appreciate even more everything I have in my life. My education, my family, my friends and all the wonderful things God has blessed me with. It’s so easy to focus on all the negatives and forget about all the good things in ones life. So I need to stop complaining cuz I have so much to be thankful for. No how bad it gets I’m still better off than a lot of other people. Also, I realised that we are not just supposed to be better off for our good but for the good of others. You hear all about people suffering in certain parts of the world and we think about it for awhile and move on. We’re unperturbed by these people’s suffering because they seem so distant to us. But seriously we can do so much more, even if just by buying something more expensive than we usually would because it’s ethically produced. It might not seem likely to make a difference but it does. It won’t change the world, but it will help at least one person and that is enough. It’s the small things that count. Even by donating little money to charities such as Christian aid or Oxfam, you don’t have to become a millionaire before you can donate to charity. Or even starting in our own lives by reaching out to people that are suffering on their own, physically, emotionally. I don’t mean to preach but the truth is that you don’t have to be a big bad oil company, raging terrorist or power crazed president to be guilty. We are all guilty of being either ignorant or complacent.

Moving on here’s six unspectacular things about my self (I just nicked this of someone’s blog so feel free to do the same and just so it’s official I’m tagging Ink, Ladi and anonymous girl).

1 Me and my phone (or for all the grammarians) my phone and I are inseparable…we’re like Batman and Robin, Bonnie and Clyde, Jack and Jill…etc etc…you get my drift. Basically I feel like a ship without a sail without my phone…lol

2. I love beans: dodo and beans, baked beans on toast, ewa goyin and agege bread…lol all types of beans. This is weird cuz a lot of people tend to hate beans and plus people will then assume that I fart a lot…which is not true…well…kinda… I will not be discussing this...lol

3. I’ve been writing songs and stuff since I was like 10. Well obviously at ten I was writing crappy songs but I’d like to think I’m much better now. The funny thing is I’ve never told anyone about them, (well, except you guys).Not that I set out to hide it...it just never came up and so I never brought it up. Hmm, weird.

4. I talk to myself a lot in the mirror… Like talking out loud and having imaginary conversations, performing my own music video in front of the mirror, posing for the camera in front of the mirror and weird stuff like that...lol. I always do this without any witnesses so everyone thinks I’m sane but sometimes I really doubt my sanity. I’ve been trying to fight this mirror madness though… so we’ll see how it goes...lol

5. When I was younger I had my whole future planned out. The house, (yes, I drew it, intact with the rooms and stuff), the number of kids, their names, my husbands name...lol...now its all gone to bits and I’m not exactly sure What I really want to do career wise sef talk more of the rest… Hmm why can’t life be as simple as I imagined it to be then…? (Cuz it would suck!)

6. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I look like Kelly Rowland, Brandy, and once, Naomi Campbell…( it was some random guy in Italy who wanted to charm me before asking me for money but heck! his opinion still counts...lol)


Sha, I’m going to continue my serious and productive studying, so all y’all take care and have a blessed weekend!

Fabulous kisses (…Lol, when did kisses become fabulous)
From moi

29/04/08

Hey blogsville! Wasaaaap! Mehn, I’m not even a dedicated blogger at all…dunno it just takes real effort to sit down and write a post when so many other things in my life are waiting for my highly demanded and important attention. I’ve been up and about reading different people’s blogs though. I honestly don’t think I can cope without checking out blogsville once in at least 3 days. Ever since I came across Trae day’s blog, on that fateful day in 2005 when I was bored out of my mind in college, I’ve been hooked. It’s like getting a sneak peek into the lives of all these people that you don’t even know and most likely will never know in person. How people divulge their fears, hopes, joys and sometimes every last minute boring detail of their life on their blogs, something that you would not normally be privy to in real life without at least a few months /years of friendship or acquaintance. You get the real person there on their blogs without all the BS (snobbery, fakeness etc) in real life. On blogsville everyone is just who they are; people living, chasing dreams, living with facing fears. It seems like I actually know these people sometimes. You even get to experience second hand certain things in life that you probably would never go through by reading other peoples blogs and learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes. It’s just very exciting that no matter how bored you are at a particular time you can be transported into the exciting, dramatic, interesting, different lives of other people, who unlike characters in books are real and not fiction. I learn a lot of things from some of the blogs out there, they entertain me, they make me think and reflect and some inspire me. However after a brief stay in blogworld, I often come back crashing down to earth when I log off the computer and realise that “Oh I’m in school a sleepy town and now I have to go and do that English essay for tomorrow” Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but sometimes………

Humph! As much as I would like continue my in-depth reflections of blogsville, I guess I better change the topic if I want anyone reading this post till the end. I was going through my inbox today and looking at mails from as far back as 2003. It was really cute the emails I used to write and all the ones my gellers from back in the day...as per there not being mobiles back then, I had quite a stash of them in my inbox. Unlike now where phones are the main means of communication and the only emails I get are from facebook, forwarded mail and just the occasional messages that someone actually sits down to type. I also came across the bit where I had a cyber boyfriend...lol I am very embarrassed about this now but It was this interactive game thingy where you went on cyber dates with this cyber guy. It was really real as in you had the first “coincidental” meeting and then the guys asks you out and then you got to the cinema or lunch and so on, lol. I actually remember the whole thing I really did it out of boredom and in he end the guy broke up with me cuz I missed a load of our ‘dates’ and I didn’t reply his emails. Chei! Imagine being dumped by a computer! I have suffered…lol.
Moving on, I miss all my old school friends. So many of them that I’ve lost contact with… that’s partly my fault cuz after janding, I jaboed a lot of people (don’t blame me calling cards are expensive). It’s sad though cuz even though we had good friendships then it may not mean anything at all if and when we ever meet again. But as my mum always says “you’ll always make new friends”. And I did make new friends all over again when I started boarding house in England. However very shortly, I’ll be leaving them and having to make new ones all over again. Ah! The cycle of life/friendships continue. Talking about friends; I have this friend of mine who I love to death but the girl has skoin-skoin. I’ve thought about slowly distancing myself from her because really she’s not the best influence. But lai lai! This girl did not gree. In fact, she started saying that I’m her bestest friend all the ish that goes with that..??!! As in I’m so confused, she’s a cool girl who I love to hang out with but as I said, she has skoin-skoin. Sometimes I think I can handle her and so maybe it’ll be alright if I still remained friends with her but the wise side of me is saying “eni to ba baja rin a je gbe” (...or something like that, my memory of Yoruba class isn’t that great) Basically, “the person that walks around with a dog will eat shite”). Hmmmmm

Anyways I’ll leave you guys with this: a smile goes a mile to wow somebody, so keep smiling always!!

Have a fab week!!

Better to have loved and lost

Guys thanks for your comments on my last post…really encouraging. It’s funny that I get that kind of support/encouragement, no matter how little it seems, from people I’ve never met before, when the people I see all the time fail to provide it. It’s not really their fault though as I have not really given them the opportunity to do so.
Nyways, I’m feeling a little bit more together now. I had this moment where I realised…actually where it hit me that I only have one life and one “now”. Every moment is precious and is gone in a second…gone as in dead gone.

Even though I don’t even know where to start from, I’m going to try. I really wish I could go on gap year but I already had a kinda gap year before I started my A levels. I practically just did nothing apart from doing this useless course which I did not even finish. Now I just look back and think “What a waste!” If only I knew how useful that free time could have been. Nyways no more shouldawouldacouldas, I’m looking to the future and how I can make the best use of now.

I also realised that I am completely guy free at the moment. I still have my guy friends but I’m not harbouring any painful secret crushes neither are any guys annoyingly chasing after me ( You know I’m hot stuff! lol)… Well, there is a guy that has expressed his like for me but he’s not acting up on it which is totally cool with me. Anyways, I actually like it this way…for now at least. Even though sometimes I catch myself craving for a cuddle mate, I really and truly cannot just be bothered. I have so much school work as it is, so there’s no time but I’m looking forward till after school as in Summer hols and beyond to go on the prowl…lol. You’d think I was the kind of babe that can actually go out, find a guy and pull him in! Not even close. See, my problem is that I front a lot! Seriously, I’m a professional fronter and this easily puts off guys cuz they’ll think I’m not interested when I really am. The thing is though, the fronting doesn’t last if you’re a cool chap and not put off by my initial front. The trick is to try and make me laugh. It doesn’t even have to be really funny as I’m known to laugh at even the driest jokes and I really just break the first layer if you can make me laugh. I think the reason for the fronting is trying to protect myself from being hurt and all. I’ve wrapped my self in so many layers and the fronting is just the first layer. The second is showing like but reserved like. The next is me seeming totally free and comfortable with you but then never going deep. The final one and the strongest is around my heart. It’s hard for me to open up and totally trust the other person. I’m scared of being close to people and letting them in properly and sharing my fears, joys, hopes and dreams. It’s complicated but ultimately it’s the fear of being rejected for what I really and all I have to give and thus being irreparably hurt. However, I’m trying to learn from the famous words of Alfred, Lord Tennyson “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”


On a different note, I saw Asa’s cd in HMV. You should have seen the smile on my face. Even though I’m not related to her in any way and have never seen her in my life I felt very proud just seeing that cd lying there with all other big names. Not many truly Nigerian, Yoruba speaking, dreadlock wearing artists make it across the big ocean. Apparently she’s signed to the same label as Kate Nash in the UK. Apart from that, I really love her music. Normally thats not my kind of music but I dunno there’s something so calming and beautiful about it. Her lyrics are poignant and potent and just simply irresistible. My favourite tracks on the Album are Bibanke, Fire on the mountain and So beautiful. On some, the Yoruba gets too much for me to understand but mostly I get it and I love it. Hope it does well!

Also BET is now in England! How exciting is that! Yesterday night I watched the BET awards and all I can say is that Monique girl is CRAZY but funny. In btw watching TV and blogging, I have also been bombarded with school work. I have two course-works to submit in two weeks and I have to start revising for my exams in June while still carrying on with normal school work and assignments. Hmm, God is my strength.

BTW, my panic about getting offers from my Uni’s was so totally unnecessary as I got offers from four of the Uni’s I applied to. Stupid Warwick rejected me, but its aight. I’m going to check out Manchester this week. Hopefully, I fall in love with it and I can put it as my first choice cuz I would really love to live in Manchester.


Nyways, my fabulous people, Stay fabulous, love your selves, love life and take the risk on loving others!

God’s love
Tiwa

What..What..Whatever!

I've been meaning to blog for a while but whenever I sat down to it, my mind went blank. My minds been doing that alot lately before I used to think too much now I almost don't think at all until the 30 mins before i doze off. I think it's cuz I'm really busy with school and with other inconsequential things. Yet my unconscious mind is brimming with issues. Whenever i do try to think they all come rushing in struggling for my attention that it all becomes a blur, nothings clear and it just gets more frustrating so i just close up my mind and sleep.

I can't keep doing this. I have to deal with stuffffff. but it's not easy. Sometimes I can't even see things as they are and I am begginning to doubt my own judgement. I sound like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but I know I'm not. I just wish I had someone I can offload to. Not everything ( I know how stifling that can be) just some. However the lack of someone to offload to I fear is my own fault. Put the walls up in all my relationships. I always just used to be a listenr and I was good at it. But now I can't bear to listen when I have all my own wahala to deal with already.
School's stressin but I'm not letting it get to me. I'm starting to feel an urgency..like I need to start doing the things I've always wanted to do. Singing, modeling. I'm trying to get even the smallest oppotunity/contact but it's not forth coming. Not because they don't exist but because I haven't pushed hard enough. I feel the urgency but I just sit back and chill. I read this book about if God wants a certain something to happen/ If it's meant to happen ..God will provide the opportunity everything without me looking. I guess that's what i'm waiting for some opportunity tro just drop in my lap. I know.....so not happening.

Whatever!

Little's there to do
Not much... just a thing or two.
You don't have to worry
Someone else is coming
they'll do it for you.
I hear the clock ticking
I hear the car drive in
Keys turn in the door
Bag drops on the floor
There's all the time in the world.
There's nothing in the fridge
whats baby gonna eat?
I haven't paid the bill
shit! that's why there's no heat.
I was gonna get some treats
Do them up with all the frills
Oh well! Another time
Righ t now, it's bed time.
Maybe tommorow I'll be free
but no! I have to meet Steve
Oh Whatever...I think I need to sleep


Just wrote this to sum up my situation. I didn't do justice but...whatever! LOL!


On to a much happier note...I'm looking for the perfect dress to wear to my leavers ball. I can see it in my mind's eye already. Grecian like, jersey fabric. Colour' s either peach, pale lilac or any pastel colour sha. It's short an obviously fabulous. Now it only remains for me to find it! I will surely having fun trying to find it. But really I can see my hair , make up, jewllery, shoes errything is set in my mind. lol..Good luck to finding it Tiwa! That's all I can say. It really would be great if I can come very close to it! I'm off to search. Abeg if y'all know any good online sites for fab clothes...help a sista out in fufilling her dream. Lol


PS: I heard about the crazy indecent dressing bill they want to pass in Naija. Complete and Utter madness! God help Nigeria. (God help me too)

Stay fab everyone and don't be complicated, unambitious, lazy and procastinate like me.
( I really do need help)! lol

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Every body!! I’ve been on a long hiatus cuz of exams and stuff but now I’m back. Even though it’s been a month since I got back from Lagos, I’m still feeling revived and refreshed from my holiday. From what I see a lot of bloggers went to the motherland as well for Christmas/new year. Sha, now everyone is back to their respectful and rightful places. School is such a drag! Like seriously, exams started two days after my holiday. Who came up with the stupid idea of having exams straight after Christmas hols….where are you supposed to fit in study among all the celebration! Anyways, at least I’m done now. I’ve started counting down till the end of school… 19 weeks to go till the end of exams and the end of school. Ahh! I can then begin looking forward to wild nights in Uni. Wild nights of play and wild nights of study (I’m trying hard at the moment not to think of the latter part). I really can’t wait. I’ve been waiting to go to Uni since grad in Naija. But I got stalled by doing A levels and taking a gap year prior to that. Nyways, now the wait is soon to be over!

Anyways, just wanted to drop a little poem I wrote the other day.

Slowly and quietly at first.
Like little drops of rain,
That cures the dry land’s thirst.
Suddenly it becomes
a burst of staccato drums.
Angry drums of a war song
Waiting for peace to bring it to rest.
Like a child awaits soothing at birth.

Listen to me.
Yes, I yearn to be heard
From a high up stage.
Oh that I can be seen and read
On a glittering page.
Till then, I will roar
At the injustice of being locked away.
Still, I will endure

Release me.
From within your soul, I will grow.
From inside your dreams, I will show.
You and I shall never be at peace
Until I am free.

It still needs a bit more polish but it still one of the only one of mine worthy to be displayed.

I’m liking daddy’s girl’s carnival series…encouraging the true spirit of loving yourself.
Naija fine boy is back! Let’s hope he doesn’t pull a ten month hiatus before returning again.
Naija vixen: Hey what’s up with your blog? Hope you’re good though?

I sent a stalker-ish email to Snazzy. Lol! Err… I really don’t have a reasonable explanation for that.. I guess I was bored. Nyways, sorry if I freaked you out.

(Found out my cousin is a blogger. I’m supposed to be anonymous so can’t really open up. But it’s quite funny cuz they’re always talking about their blog and other blogs and there I am acting all clueless about blog world.)

To all my peeps: God’s love and stay fabulous!

PEEPS AND THINGS THAT I’M LOVING RIGHT NOW

These are all the things that give me a warm glow when I think about them. Actually, they give me sleepless nights. I was jejely trying to get some sleep, when I started writing up this post in my mind. Anyways, here goes:

TY Bello: This photographer and singer is a role model and inspiration of mine. She’s God fearing and hip at the same time. Really loving her album Greenland, had to get mumsi to send it to me from naij. Songs I’m really loving on it are Greenland, Funmise and Ekundayo. Tres, tres lovely

Four Kornerz: These guys are like the hottest gospel band around. They performed once in my church and that was it! Love! Their album soulelectric is also really hot. Was supposed to see them in concert bout two weeks ago but couldn’t make it due to the status of my pocket. Sob, sob. It really pained me when they didn’t get the best gospel award at the mobos because I voted for them so many times, it’s all good though. Nyways, if you guys don’t know them already you have to check out their website http://www.fourkornerz.com/.

Nneka Egbuna: Just found out bout this chick and I am yet to lay my hands on her album, heard some stuff on her website though and seen the video of uncomfortable truth. I’m really liking what I’m seeing so far. She’s been dubbed the new lauryn hill. What I like the most about her is her naturalness. She’s seems so unpretentious and she’s got a lovely voice. She sings gospel too which is a plus. Wish her all the best!

Duro Olowu: As you can see all the people so far on my list are Nigerian. Just trying to support peeps from Greenland. Nyways, This guy is a top designer; he showed his collection at the London Fashion week a few months ago. Loved it plus there was loads of green stuff in it and I’m a sucker for anything green. Seriously tho, very talented guy and it’s always good to see a Naija person doing something well and succeeding at it. I wonder if I could get a modelling contract or something from this guy in return for all this publicity….lol! Just trying my luck.

Prison Break: Wentworth Miller is so HOT and he’s even hotter playing Michael Scoffield in this show. I always feel kinda macho when watching this cuz it’s quite intense. It always leaves me jumping on the sofa out of anxiety and they are very good at leaving people in suspense. Good watch!

Heroes: This is also one of my fav, TV shows. Hiro must save the world! Lol. There’s a guy that can read peoples mind, a guy that can travel through time, a guy that can explode, a girl who heals and all sorts in this one show. The last episode of the season is coming up this week. What am I gonna do on Wednesday nights now ehn? Sob. I’ll miss you.

Green: What started out so innocently is now a wild love affair. I am in love with this colour. It’s vibrancy, its freshness and how good it looks on me just gets me every time. Sigh, I’m so in love. Green clothes, green shoes, green eye shadow… but no matter how much I love you, our love cannot extend to green hair and crazy stuff like that. Lol! I don’t think I’m ready for that level of commitment.

Ankle Boots: These sexy things are so in season right now and its paining me cuz now I have to share them with everyone. But honestly high heeled ankle boots are just fabulous!

Agyness Deyn: I don’t but this chick has something bout her that you just gotta love. First time I saw her in a mag, she was wearing this ridiculous dress but she still looked uber fab in it. Watch out Kate Moss.

American Gangster: On a normal day, this isn’t my cup of tea but my man (said slowly in Denzel Washington’s voice) I love this movie. It’s a true story about a mobster drug dealer in the 70’s. I saw an interview with the real Frank Lucas and he’s a changed man now, campaigning to stop gangsterism. I have a friend who aspires to be the next Frank Lucas. God help him!

Kanye: Was also supposed to see Kanye few days ago but my plans got messed up. I’ve always loved Kanye, he’s just so cool. He also beat 50 in the contest for most albums sold. I was very happy bout that cuz I really don’t like 50 plus I think Graduation is really good compared to what quite a few people think. Anyway, I really sympathise with him for the loss of his mom. Stay strong my brother.

Adrian Grenier: This guy is officially the cutest guy alive. Move over Lemar, it’s time for a new flame (I’ve had a crazy crush on Lemar for years). He’s the boyfriend in The Devil wears Prada, he’s on entourage and he also has his own band. Love, love love!
Christmas: Don’t you just love Christmas! The lights and decorations everywhere you go, singing Christmas songs in the snow….okay, I haven’t seen snow for the past 2 years but still, Christmas is just the best time of the year. I have my birthday 10 days before Christmas, you get holidays from school, get to home and spend time with family peeps you don’t normally get to see, parties, free money and presents. The only thing that would make it even more perfect would be sunny weather, which is why I have to go to nig. Please help me pray cuz I really want to go home for Christmas. All I want for Christmas is La-a-a-lagos!


My peoples, that’s all I got for you. Hope everyone is in the Christmas spirit as well. Nyways, I need ideas for something. Things to do before you turn 18. Feel free to drop comments on this and don’t feel limited…lol, I’m feeling very adventurous.
God keep and bless everyone visiting here. Stay Fab!

PANIC!

OMG! I have just gotten rejected by one of the uni's applied to! I'm begginning to panic now. What if I don't get any offers! I am really worried at this point, almost paranoid. God help me.

Why?

Why, just why do I find myself thinking about you a lot more than I should?
I'm trying, trying really hard to stop myself from liking you as more than a friend.
I hate, hate the way I find myself wanting to hear your voice more than once in a while.
Why, why do I have the feeling that if I ever allow myself to like you, I'll end up regretting it.
I really can't handle this. I just wish I could get you out of my head

Finally found my way back

Hey guys! I'm back ! it's been a long while I know. Ive been meaning to put up a post for ages and I had a very long one prepared but I kinda deleted it by mistake.
Really missed blogging but Ive been so friggin busy.

Nyways, loads of stuff's happened since my last post but I cant fit it in here. Right now I'm in my final year of A levels, hoping to get to uni nxt year. I hope I get into the uni I wanna go. Doing this, ultimately means working very very hard. God help me.

I think right now I'm in the middle of some kind of evolution. With me hitting the big 18 very soon, it seems like I am actually growing into a more mature person. For the first time I have started to see thing in a different light. I am beginning to actually know myself.

From the little knowledge I am beginning to grasp of myself, I'm hoping to apply it in certain areas of my life. To actually start the process of building dreams that have been accumulating.

God help me.

He's watching you, he's lookin at your ass!

Hey guys! Hope you all had a lovely week? My week was alright, rainy, but still alright. I've been studying alot cuz my exams are coming up and panic is grabbing me, which is a good thing because it is that panic that is making me study hard. Nyways, can you imagine, you know the dude I was talking about in my last post, I found out that the guy was always staring at my ass. He used to do it so often that his girlfriend had an arguement with him over it. Hmmm, on top my flat ass! I was shocked cuz I never even had the slightest idea that he used to stare at ass, course, our eyes jammed a few times, but I didn't know it was not my eyes but my ass that was attracting all that attention. I can't blame him sha, even though I think my ass is a bit flat, it's still better than his girlfriend's Oyinbo one. His loss though cuz that piece of news made me loose any trace of the crush I had on him. Now, I'm even wondering what I saw in him in the first place, he's always doing big boy too much and he's not even that fine sef!

I'm really missing all my peeps in naija, like seriously! My sis, is so funny. Everytime she wants me to call her, she just sends me an email saying"Tiwa it's very very urgent, abeg call me" the last one I recieved was " Tiwa, it's a matter of life and death! call me plus I have plenty jist for you" lol..abeg tell me how does jist combine with matters of life and death. When I call now, she'll be like "no...I just wanted to hear your voice" You gotta love that babe. when I was in Naija we used to fight like hell, but as they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Gotta run now, take care y'all and have a lovely, lovely weekend!Adios!

It's been a long time!

Hey guys, longest time. been really busy and I have exams coming up so I'm really jacking and all. Wish me luck! Plus, I've been dealing with the heartache of unrequited love..... sob.... Okay.., maybe it's not full blown love.....alot more like 'like' but it's still unrequited sha, that's the koko. The whole jist is that there's the guy I really like but the problem is he has a girlfriend. Can you imagine? I like a guys who already has a girlfriend, how sad is that, hmm. Thing is, I don't think he really likes the chick according to rumours he is just using her for a bit of bootie. Shey,after hearing such rumours, I shouldn't have just removed my eyes from there. Afterall, I can't like a guy who treats his girl like that, if he does that to her he'll obviously do the same to me if we ever get together but no, my people my eyes no gree leave am! and for weeks I was dwelling in the fantasy that he actually really liked me and was just using her to make me jealous because our eyes were always jammimg, like seriously, I used to catch this dude staring at me all the time and he was always really nice to me. But, thankfully I have now come back to my senses and realised that "a little eye jammin and niceness don't mean the dude like you so Tiwa, move on up!"Plus, me and the guy used to yarn only when there was no one else around, dodgy right?Anyway, I think i can say that I'm almost totally over him. I'm sure he's no good anyway.

To a much brighter and exciting note, I am loving summer right now! The sunshine just lifts my spirit and makes me smile. I have been lying in the sun all week, the problem is I have forgotten that i am not oyinbo and I have gotten a bit darker which I am not lovin at all! Do you guys know, if sunscreen can help reduce the darkening effect of the sun on my skin? (Don't mind my oyinbo!)

I was also in a really cheesy school prospecteus photoshoot. You know those kinds where you pretend to be studying with some one looking all serious, or having fun in class, or walking down the hill with a buch of friends and you guys look like you're having the time of your life...that kind of photoshoot. At the end of thing, my cheeks were aching from smiling and laughing too much. Every time we posed for a picture, the yeye photographer kept saying "even happier, bigger smiles". I don't think I ever smiled so much in my life. We were just smiling at everthing! Those pictures are going to look so fake! They kept taking us to all the fine places in the school that we students starngely have never seen before....like the school head's back garden. So, that the poor prospective students will think we're living in paradise. yeye people! But it was fun sha! and i got to skip all my really boring classes.

On to something else, I was on naija vixen's blog recently and I saw the video of one guy called KAS. I was very suprised cuz I remember like two years ago I met this dude. we were some place, that i can't remember and he heard me and a friend talkin about naija songs and he came over to us. He said he was a musician and at that point in time we had never seen, heard or even smelt a whiff of any one called KAS, so we were quite skeptical. Nyways, dude gave us his cd with his number on it. When I got home, i threw the cd somewhere and that was the last I heard of it until a few days ago, after i had seen his video on naija vixen's blog. This thing pained me because if I had called the guy around that time he gave me the cd we may have become pallies and now, I could have been boasting everywhere that I knew him. Me, that i have been looking for some famous person to claim eversince. Can u imagine? If i call him now he'll be like "what, tiwa from where?" I messed up big time mehn! I could, be getting free tickets to gigs and all that now. Oh well! I hope he makes it big time sha. Nyways,that's all for now folks, hope you all have a fab week! ciao!

Quickie

Hey guys! longest time, i've been really busy and ill for a while so thats why i haven't been around. Nyways, ow y'all doing? Ope u all had a lovely easter. I just wanted to pop in to say hi to all u guys that are missing me so much(i Know u are ;) ) lol. take care luvs

Hollywood's next top actress

Seriously, one minute time is going so darn slow and the next you're looking to find out where it went so quickly. Not much happened last week, usual school stuff (which means boring stuff like lessons and d like), although there is one highlight to my week. I acted in my very first proper drama! yay me! watchout cuz i'm too hot for nollywood, I'm heading straight to hollywood!.........lol! who dash monkey bannana? At first, I was very nervous about it cuz I didn't exactly plan to be in the play.....it just kinda happened that I auditoned and I got the part. Although there were a few mishaps on stage like er........forgetting my lines, I didn't do too badly! I didn't know that there was a hollywood star in me all along. So, I've started searching for the perfect designer dress to wear to the movie awards to collect my award for Best new actress. Are there any blogville stylists that can get me the perfect dress, just know that I don't do cheap. I want something stunning and sexy. I will also need a hairstylist and a makeup artist.......you know I have to look perfect on my night. However, all this would be on credit, because as you know this is only my first movie...........but if you help me look stunning enough to get another part.........I'll make it worth your while. When I become a big actress, you'll start reaping the benfits and you won't regret it ; ) And of course, I won't forget to thank you when i'm collecting my award. LOL

Thanks, for you ideas on what to get mumsie for her birhtday gift, I was planning to buy something big, but I guess it's really just the thought that matters but i still try and get her something nice.

who' da boss?

Lately, a lot has been going through my mind. So much that I have started daring to question some things . Thing is, I know in my heart of hearts that God reigns and rules over us and protects his children but so much happens in the world that just makes you wonder ....."Is there really a God or are we just decieving ourselves?" Still, no matter what my head thinks and and what happens in the world that remains...unexplainable, there is proof that God was, is and will be. So how doe we reconcile these two things, the proof of God and places where there is no evidence of God.

Sure, there have been some attempts, "God only works where he is called" or "it is the people letting the devil do bad things to them?" But how can a God so loving, sit back and watch horrible things happen to the people he so wonderfully made. People killing each other over nothing, people suffering so much to get money to survive and some next man just ripping it off them.. how do you explain a child who has never wronged anybody being brought ito a world of suffering, famine or war. There has to be a plausible explanation, yes, I know the heart of man is wicked but why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa? why won't people think, "why should I believe in God?.. so far, I've had nothing to do with him and I have been perfectly alright and all those who claim God are suffering." They shouldn't be able to think so. Sometimes, I think maybe it's just ignorance to believe everything revolves around God and that maybe we christains are just to scared to accept a world without God cuz then it would mean we have no hope, it would we won't have that last person to help us when everything else fails, it would mean we can't tell ourselves that our situation would change , it would mean there would be no one to help us in our trying times , it would mean we have no protection or defence from all the dangers of the world ..... it would simply mean no hope and that we can't live with.

Still, I know that God truly exists, reigns and rules and he is exactly who he says he is in the Bible. I know this because I believe, I believe because I have no other option than to believe, because God is the only hope I have and there is no other way to describe my being alive and having everything I have other than it is the work of God. Even though, I cannot understand or explain the way he does his work, why he does it that way and not the way I think is best, I know that he is in control and he knows what he is doing.

I know that was some heavy stuff, but I just had to get it out of my mind. Besides thinking, I've home having a good midterm..Oh! the joy! just being able to wake up anytime I like, lounge on the sofa and watch T.V all day plus I get to eat proper food. ...Fajii ni mo wa! sadly, all this has to end soon and I'll have to go back o school and face my reality. Nyways, i'm thinking of what to get my mum for her birthday.....any ideas?

I still know what you did last weekend!

I've been meaning to blog for a long time but you know I'm a very important person, it's hard to get me in one place for long.lol!

Nyway, last weekend was very......... eventful.lol! Went to watch Dream girls on friday and it was wonderful. I loved it and I can't wait for the DVD to come out so I can buy it. The funniest and nicest part was when the Effi(jennifer hudson) was singing the song about not going anywhere and her boyfriend was going to love her by force, she went mad in that bit...but seriously, the girl can siiing! You guys that haven't watched it probably don't know what I'm talking about but the happening people who have watched it will understand.lol!

As I was saying, so saturday we had socials in school and I actually enjoyed it plus I looked super cute! Loads of funny stuff happened, one of my friends, who was very drunk got punched by a very mean looking, chavvy chick. What happened was, my drunk friend in her drunken haze accidentally stepped on the chick's toes and next thing you know....she was all over my friend. But that didn't it spoil it for me cuz my friend wasn't hurt that bad..shes a tough girl. Nyways, after the socials, we then went to another friends house.This is where stupidity and drunkeness combined and we started playing spin-the-bottle........you know what happens when you start playing spin-d-bottle....every one got off with each other..minus me oh! I only got off with one guy (as if that makes me any better!) but still I was the most innocent person there. The next morning I couldn't believe what I had done....I mean Tiwa doesn't just kiss any random guy that comes her way especially for a dare!....plus I wasn't even that drunk. I mean what was I thinking?.....I really felt terrible the next day but luckily I might never see the guy again cuz i'll be so embarrasedto see him againand it's even better cuz he wasn't even a good kisser!(what a way to have my first kiss! yes, my first kiss! arggh ..mingin!)

Honestly.... I don't know what I'm becoming. If my mother should hear this she will just disown me! Even some of my friends I'm scared that if i tell them..they'll criticize me. I know they might not.....but I just feel that way. I mean, I've always been known as a "good girl" and you know how naija peeps are. Nyways, now I've kinda gotten over it. It's not the end of the world plus it was just a kiss right? the thing is... it's not the act of kissing I'm worried about but the fact that I kissed a random guy that I don't even know that well in SPIN-D- BOTTLE! You might be thinking what's the big deal? but for me "Tiwa" it is a very big deal. But as I said earlier, I've gotten over it. I know when I'm like 25 or something and I look back at it, I'll be like "Gosh! what a naive girl I was!" So, I'm looking ahead till then!

Gotta run, catch you guys later! Much lurve!

Friends

Here’s to friends who are there in the good times and in the bad
Sometimes you wish you never knew them
And sometimes you can't do without them.
Friends know you so well; they can tell when you’re happy, sad, pretending you’re not angry with them, when you really like that guy you tell them you hate.
Friends you’re just happy to be around,
Who bring the best out of you and encourage you to be strong.
Friends who you can be yourself with,
Friends you don’t have to pretend to be something else with.
Friends who can trust you with their biggest secrets…with their lives.
Friends who stay in your memory through out your life,
Friends that you’re thankful to God for.
Friends, who though are not perfect you are ready to overlook their faults.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes and in the most unusual places.
Here's to friends that have touched our lives

Psychic tag

Question 1:
Imagine you are in a desert (are you there?);
now imagine a ladder (are you seeing it?);
Now what is the position of the ladder? i.e. Lying down, Resting on something, Standing alone...
It’s standing, dunno if it’s resting on something but I can only see the ladder

Question2:
Image a horse in that same desert (are you there?);
what is the colour of the horse?
What is the horse doing?

It’s a chocolate brown horse
It’s just standing there turning it’s head from side to side swinging it’s tail and looking at me

Question 3:
Come back to reality...
Give three reasons why you like water:

Quenches your thirst plus its good for you skin, digestion stuff like that
You can use it to make food
You can use it for cleaning stuff


Question 4:
What is your favourite colour?
Give the three reasons why you like that colour:

At the moment it’s green
It’s very bright so it just catches your eye
It ‘s kind of calming and sensual
It’s zingy

Question 5:
What is your favourite animal (Even if you don't like, what would it be if you do?)
Give three reasons why you like/would like that animal.

Cute little dogs
As mentioned above, they’re cute
They’re portable
They’re suitable companions

Question 6:
Imagine you wake up in a white room with no door, and no window.
What will be your first reaction?
What will be your reaction afterwards?

I’d first of all think someone was playing a trick on me and I’ll try to find my way out
I’d start PRAYING TO BABA GOD!

Question 7:
Without thinking, name two opposite sex names that are not your family member:
Tega
marc
(I had to think cuz I was just coming up with random names of people I didn’t know)

Question 8:
Without thinking, name someone from your family member:
Tee

Question 9:
Name anyone, same sex or otherwise, that is not a family member:
Jay

Question 10:
List four of your favourite music title:

Long way to go
I’m loving angels instead (is that the name of that song by Robbie Williams….I always thought so but it might not be)
Kiss from a rose
Dangerously in love

Question 11:
List four of your favourite location/city:
Lagos
London
Villa
Erm…aunts house

Last One:
Arrange these animals according to your preference:
Tiger, Sheep, Cow, Monkey, Eagle

Eagle, Tiger, Monkey, Sheep, cow

Vals day: what does it mean toyou

Hey guys! watsup? Hope you all had a fun week. My week was cool.Today my friends and I had a water bomb fight...I know quite stupid considering the fact that it's winter but we weren't thinking and it was really fun.You should have seen me running up and down dripping wet!

Anyway, not much planned for the weekend, might go out tomorrow to the movies, bowling or somewhere and I might just pop into the shops. Last weekend I bought the cutest shoes ever, which I would not normally buy as they were heely shoes but I'm taking overwhelmed's fabulous tip. Everyday since I bought it, I try them on and look at my self in the mirror and they just make me so happy! Gosh! I didn't know you could get this much excitement from shoes!

As you might have noticed, I don't have anything in particular to talk about,I've ran out of things to say and now I'm scrambling my brain for something tangible to write about. Yeah, I'm trying to get somebody to send me val's gifts. Yeah,I know sound desperate but hey! whats a girl to do when the only excuse apart from birthdays to give gifts is coming and she's got no potential gift-giver? I've been working on it but you know I gats to do it jejely I don't want to the guy to pick race. If worst comes to worst, I'll just buy my self a gift and post it to my self. LOl... hopefully it doesn't come to that! All of you that are single and there's some random guy breathing down your next asking you out, let me give you some advice: Answer him. Even if it's just for the sake of valentines day, after that give it one month max, give him some excuse and tell him to carry im load comot. Sounds harsh?...... sit down there, when your friends will be gushing about their very romantic gifts on that day and you'll be sitting there with not even one rose to call your own, you'll tell me if it still sounds harsh.( Guys, sorry but thats the way it is, look on the bright side though, it'll be your chance to hook her for good if you impress her very well.)My sec.school was a girls school so we used to match junior girls(not just any other j.girl, the type you knew was willing to buy better gifts) and senior gals up for vals. On vals day, the junior girl would have to bring a gift for the senior girl and the senior girl would just give the j.girl assorted biscuit (any biscuit apart from cabin biscuit), drink, chat for a bit and thats it. The J.gal has gone away happy and the senior girl now has her gifts, you guys could become friends or you could just say hello to each other, or you could just ignore each other, whichever one suited you best. Things were so much easier back then Sigh! Seriously. For me vals day is all about the excitement of recieving gifts, it might probably mean something more if I was in love but for now that's what its all about! If you have any other opinions on vals day, feel free to drop your comments.

Hope you guys have a fab weekend, Until next time; STAY FABULOUS!

Perfectly boring!

I hate being in the midst of people that don’t speak English and especially don’t speak it even when I’m sitting at the same lunch table as them. I’ve told them countless times that it is rude to speak their language when someone who doesn’t understand it is there but they always slip back into it. I guess I can’t blame them cuz even me I lapse into naija English with my other naija peeps, which apparently they don’t understand. These peeps are cool when they speak English but when they are not….Gosh! They could be planning how to cut out my lungs during my sleep, for all I know, or worse they could be gossiping about my lunch saying I eat like a pig! For your information I do not eat like a pig! Talks about anorexia, these guys have it all. I mean how can a normal person survive by eating food like this:

Breakfast: 1 slice of bread, with a thin spread of butter, I apple and 1 cup of orange juice.

Lunch: A bowl of salad and 1 cup of yoghurt

Tea: The only time they have a plateful of food (even though, the only thing I can see are huge pieces of green leaves!)

So, can you blame me for imagining that they were actually fantasying about my food! I will not be intimidated just because I eat like a human being cuz I know I so do not eat like a pig! At least, I’m not so skinny that you can’t tell the difference between me and the skeleton in the biology lab! I’m a healthy size 10 and even at that my relatives are still complaining, they’re always like ”Tiwa! Look at your long neck, you better eat good food, ounje oyinbo yen, tio o on je ni on fa a”(this was a major failed attempt at writting yoruba..I know...lol..) But I’m not bothered cuz I like me the way I am.( Although , I kind of wish I had bigger boobs, but at least I’m grateful I have something, I know 20 yr old peeps who have nothing but groundnuts on their chests plus I still got time). I look in the mirror and admire my lovely tiny eyes, that make me look as if I’m squinting all the time, my slightly (very slightly) protruding front teeth, my long neck, my small boobs and my ugly feet and despite these imperfections, I still think I’m beautiful (I know I am cuz I get people telling me everyday, every where I go, they just can’t help but stare at me….lol) and these imperfections are what make me who I am ,Tiwalade.

Imagine being perfect, it’ll be so boring! You’ll have the same clothes as the other perfect “IT” girls, the same perfect shoes, the same perfect hair style, the same perfect faces (thanks to plastic surgery!), the same perfect size (that’s a size 6 by the way). To everyone out there who thinks they’re anything less than FABULOUS because of their imperfections, you got all WRONG! That’s what makes you the beautiful person you are!

I know I have seriously diverted from my original topic but hey “out of the mouth (or rather out of the keyboard)speaks the heart” Stay fabulous!!!

Look at me I'm fabulous!

Hey guys! Yesterday I wrote a very juicy and detailed post on my underage stalker but due to some complicated technicalities, it disappeared. Due to my inability to be arsed to write another long post, all I have for you are my ramblings.

Finished my exams today YAY! Next plan of action is me and my girls plotting our night out on the town and how we're gonna get into a club. Does anyone know anyone who can supply fake IDs? Unfortunately and fortunately, I know this isn't going to work out. It's unfortunate because it would have been a fun way to unwind after exam stress and it's fortunate because really and truly I don't want to go clubbing, I’d rather do something more exciting like...stay up all night and watch movies and gossip (I know I'm so not fun) but really I prefer this sort of night to going out to a club that is so much more stressful.

By the way, I've finally decided what I want to do this year. Quite frankly, I'm a rather confused girl. I’m caught up in the middle of so many things and I don't really know what I want, I don't know exactly what I want to become. So I'm setting out on a journey of self discovery and I want to be fabulous every step of the way. Even if the process takes longer on the inside I want it to begin to show on the outside. So If you guys have any tips on being fabulous, bring it on!

I just thought I'd mention that I'm loving Kirk Franklin’s album "Hero". I rarely hear any good Christian music that when I do I love them so much. There's also this Bible audio CD that I heard about. It has loads of actors and actresses taking on the voice of characters in the Bible and bringing them to life. The cast list includes people from Denzel Washington to Angela Basset to Yolanda Adams to Tyrese Gibson. I hear it's really good so I might be getting that, you guys can check it out.

On to something totally different. You know that guy I mentioned that I liked but didn't like anymore after a while....well now he has a girlfriend and jealousy is eating me up. I've told myself over and over again "Tiwa, you do not like him anymore and you will not be jealous" but it doesn't seem to be working cuz every time I see them together, I just get this pang of jealousy and even though I pretend not to notice them, I can see every move they make. Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. I thought I had moved on... but it seems that no matter how much I hate to admit it even to myself, I still have a major crush on dude. Hopefully it's just a phase I'm going through.

Catch y'all later!