Why?

Why, just why do I find myself thinking about you a lot more than I should?
I'm trying, trying really hard to stop myself from liking you as more than a friend.
I hate, hate the way I find myself wanting to hear your voice more than once in a while.
Why, why do I have the feeling that if I ever allow myself to like you, I'll end up regretting it.
I really can't handle this. I just wish I could get you out of my head

Finally found my way back

Hey guys! I'm back ! it's been a long while I know. Ive been meaning to put up a post for ages and I had a very long one prepared but I kinda deleted it by mistake.
Really missed blogging but Ive been so friggin busy.

Nyways, loads of stuff's happened since my last post but I cant fit it in here. Right now I'm in my final year of A levels, hoping to get to uni nxt year. I hope I get into the uni I wanna go. Doing this, ultimately means working very very hard. God help me.

I think right now I'm in the middle of some kind of evolution. With me hitting the big 18 very soon, it seems like I am actually growing into a more mature person. For the first time I have started to see thing in a different light. I am beginning to actually know myself.

From the little knowledge I am beginning to grasp of myself, I'm hoping to apply it in certain areas of my life. To actually start the process of building dreams that have been accumulating.

God help me.

He's watching you, he's lookin at your ass!

Hey guys! Hope you all had a lovely week? My week was alright, rainy, but still alright. I've been studying alot cuz my exams are coming up and panic is grabbing me, which is a good thing because it is that panic that is making me study hard. Nyways, can you imagine, you know the dude I was talking about in my last post, I found out that the guy was always staring at my ass. He used to do it so often that his girlfriend had an arguement with him over it. Hmmm, on top my flat ass! I was shocked cuz I never even had the slightest idea that he used to stare at ass, course, our eyes jammed a few times, but I didn't know it was not my eyes but my ass that was attracting all that attention. I can't blame him sha, even though I think my ass is a bit flat, it's still better than his girlfriend's Oyinbo one. His loss though cuz that piece of news made me loose any trace of the crush I had on him. Now, I'm even wondering what I saw in him in the first place, he's always doing big boy too much and he's not even that fine sef!

I'm really missing all my peeps in naija, like seriously! My sis, is so funny. Everytime she wants me to call her, she just sends me an email saying"Tiwa it's very very urgent, abeg call me" the last one I recieved was " Tiwa, it's a matter of life and death! call me plus I have plenty jist for you" lol..abeg tell me how does jist combine with matters of life and death. When I call now, she'll be like "no...I just wanted to hear your voice" You gotta love that babe. when I was in Naija we used to fight like hell, but as they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Gotta run now, take care y'all and have a lovely, lovely weekend!Adios!

It's been a long time!

Hey guys, longest time. been really busy and I have exams coming up so I'm really jacking and all. Wish me luck! Plus, I've been dealing with the heartache of unrequited love..... sob.... Okay.., maybe it's not full blown love.....alot more like 'like' but it's still unrequited sha, that's the koko. The whole jist is that there's the guy I really like but the problem is he has a girlfriend. Can you imagine? I like a guys who already has a girlfriend, how sad is that, hmm. Thing is, I don't think he really likes the chick according to rumours he is just using her for a bit of bootie. Shey,after hearing such rumours, I shouldn't have just removed my eyes from there. Afterall, I can't like a guy who treats his girl like that, if he does that to her he'll obviously do the same to me if we ever get together but no, my people my eyes no gree leave am! and for weeks I was dwelling in the fantasy that he actually really liked me and was just using her to make me jealous because our eyes were always jammimg, like seriously, I used to catch this dude staring at me all the time and he was always really nice to me. But, thankfully I have now come back to my senses and realised that "a little eye jammin and niceness don't mean the dude like you so Tiwa, move on up!"Plus, me and the guy used to yarn only when there was no one else around, dodgy right?Anyway, I think i can say that I'm almost totally over him. I'm sure he's no good anyway.

To a much brighter and exciting note, I am loving summer right now! The sunshine just lifts my spirit and makes me smile. I have been lying in the sun all week, the problem is I have forgotten that i am not oyinbo and I have gotten a bit darker which I am not lovin at all! Do you guys know, if sunscreen can help reduce the darkening effect of the sun on my skin? (Don't mind my oyinbo!)

I was also in a really cheesy school prospecteus photoshoot. You know those kinds where you pretend to be studying with some one looking all serious, or having fun in class, or walking down the hill with a buch of friends and you guys look like you're having the time of your life...that kind of photoshoot. At the end of thing, my cheeks were aching from smiling and laughing too much. Every time we posed for a picture, the yeye photographer kept saying "even happier, bigger smiles". I don't think I ever smiled so much in my life. We were just smiling at everthing! Those pictures are going to look so fake! They kept taking us to all the fine places in the school that we students starngely have never seen before....like the school head's back garden. So, that the poor prospective students will think we're living in paradise. yeye people! But it was fun sha! and i got to skip all my really boring classes.

On to something else, I was on naija vixen's blog recently and I saw the video of one guy called KAS. I was very suprised cuz I remember like two years ago I met this dude. we were some place, that i can't remember and he heard me and a friend talkin about naija songs and he came over to us. He said he was a musician and at that point in time we had never seen, heard or even smelt a whiff of any one called KAS, so we were quite skeptical. Nyways, dude gave us his cd with his number on it. When I got home, i threw the cd somewhere and that was the last I heard of it until a few days ago, after i had seen his video on naija vixen's blog. This thing pained me because if I had called the guy around that time he gave me the cd we may have become pallies and now, I could have been boasting everywhere that I knew him. Me, that i have been looking for some famous person to claim eversince. Can u imagine? If i call him now he'll be like "what, tiwa from where?" I messed up big time mehn! I could, be getting free tickets to gigs and all that now. Oh well! I hope he makes it big time sha. Nyways,that's all for now folks, hope you all have a fab week! ciao!

Quickie

Hey guys! longest time, i've been really busy and ill for a while so thats why i haven't been around. Nyways, ow y'all doing? Ope u all had a lovely easter. I just wanted to pop in to say hi to all u guys that are missing me so much(i Know u are ;) ) lol. take care luvs

Hollywood's next top actress

Seriously, one minute time is going so darn slow and the next you're looking to find out where it went so quickly. Not much happened last week, usual school stuff (which means boring stuff like lessons and d like), although there is one highlight to my week. I acted in my very first proper drama! yay me! watchout cuz i'm too hot for nollywood, I'm heading straight to hollywood!.........lol! who dash monkey bannana? At first, I was very nervous about it cuz I didn't exactly plan to be in the play.....it just kinda happened that I auditoned and I got the part. Although there were a few mishaps on stage like er........forgetting my lines, I didn't do too badly! I didn't know that there was a hollywood star in me all along. So, I've started searching for the perfect designer dress to wear to the movie awards to collect my award for Best new actress. Are there any blogville stylists that can get me the perfect dress, just know that I don't do cheap. I want something stunning and sexy. I will also need a hairstylist and a makeup artist.......you know I have to look perfect on my night. However, all this would be on credit, because as you know this is only my first movie...........but if you help me look stunning enough to get another part.........I'll make it worth your while. When I become a big actress, you'll start reaping the benfits and you won't regret it ; ) And of course, I won't forget to thank you when i'm collecting my award. LOL

Thanks, for you ideas on what to get mumsie for her birhtday gift, I was planning to buy something big, but I guess it's really just the thought that matters but i still try and get her something nice.

who' da boss?

Lately, a lot has been going through my mind. So much that I have started daring to question some things . Thing is, I know in my heart of hearts that God reigns and rules over us and protects his children but so much happens in the world that just makes you wonder ....."Is there really a God or are we just decieving ourselves?" Still, no matter what my head thinks and and what happens in the world that remains...unexplainable, there is proof that God was, is and will be. So how doe we reconcile these two things, the proof of God and places where there is no evidence of God.

Sure, there have been some attempts, "God only works where he is called" or "it is the people letting the devil do bad things to them?" But how can a God so loving, sit back and watch horrible things happen to the people he so wonderfully made. People killing each other over nothing, people suffering so much to get money to survive and some next man just ripping it off them.. how do you explain a child who has never wronged anybody being brought ito a world of suffering, famine or war. There has to be a plausible explanation, yes, I know the heart of man is wicked but why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa? why won't people think, "why should I believe in God?.. so far, I've had nothing to do with him and I have been perfectly alright and all those who claim God are suffering." They shouldn't be able to think so. Sometimes, I think maybe it's just ignorance to believe everything revolves around God and that maybe we christains are just to scared to accept a world without God cuz then it would mean we have no hope, it would we won't have that last person to help us when everything else fails, it would mean we can't tell ourselves that our situation would change , it would mean there would be no one to help us in our trying times , it would mean we have no protection or defence from all the dangers of the world ..... it would simply mean no hope and that we can't live with.

Still, I know that God truly exists, reigns and rules and he is exactly who he says he is in the Bible. I know this because I believe, I believe because I have no other option than to believe, because God is the only hope I have and there is no other way to describe my being alive and having everything I have other than it is the work of God. Even though, I cannot understand or explain the way he does his work, why he does it that way and not the way I think is best, I know that he is in control and he knows what he is doing.

I know that was some heavy stuff, but I just had to get it out of my mind. Besides thinking, I've home having a good midterm..Oh! the joy! just being able to wake up anytime I like, lounge on the sofa and watch T.V all day plus I get to eat proper food. ...Fajii ni mo wa! sadly, all this has to end soon and I'll have to go back o school and face my reality. Nyways, i'm thinking of what to get my mum for her birthday.....any ideas?

I still know what you did last weekend!

I've been meaning to blog for a long time but you know I'm a very important person, it's hard to get me in one place for long.lol!

Nyway, last weekend was very......... eventful.lol! Went to watch Dream girls on friday and it was wonderful. I loved it and I can't wait for the DVD to come out so I can buy it. The funniest and nicest part was when the Effi(jennifer hudson) was singing the song about not going anywhere and her boyfriend was going to love her by force, she went mad in that bit...but seriously, the girl can siiing! You guys that haven't watched it probably don't know what I'm talking about but the happening people who have watched it will understand.lol!

As I was saying, so saturday we had socials in school and I actually enjoyed it plus I looked super cute! Loads of funny stuff happened, one of my friends, who was very drunk got punched by a very mean looking, chavvy chick. What happened was, my drunk friend in her drunken haze accidentally stepped on the chick's toes and next thing you know....she was all over my friend. But that didn't it spoil it for me cuz my friend wasn't hurt that bad..shes a tough girl. Nyways, after the socials, we then went to another friends house.This is where stupidity and drunkeness combined and we started playing spin-the-bottle........you know what happens when you start playing spin-d-bottle....every one got off with each other..minus me oh! I only got off with one guy (as if that makes me any better!) but still I was the most innocent person there. The next morning I couldn't believe what I had done....I mean Tiwa doesn't just kiss any random guy that comes her way especially for a dare!....plus I wasn't even that drunk. I mean what was I thinking?.....I really felt terrible the next day but luckily I might never see the guy again cuz i'll be so embarrasedto see him againand it's even better cuz he wasn't even a good kisser!(what a way to have my first kiss! yes, my first kiss! arggh ..mingin!)

Honestly.... I don't know what I'm becoming. If my mother should hear this she will just disown me! Even some of my friends I'm scared that if i tell them..they'll criticize me. I know they might not.....but I just feel that way. I mean, I've always been known as a "good girl" and you know how naija peeps are. Nyways, now I've kinda gotten over it. It's not the end of the world plus it was just a kiss right? the thing is... it's not the act of kissing I'm worried about but the fact that I kissed a random guy that I don't even know that well in SPIN-D- BOTTLE! You might be thinking what's the big deal? but for me "Tiwa" it is a very big deal. But as I said earlier, I've gotten over it. I know when I'm like 25 or something and I look back at it, I'll be like "Gosh! what a naive girl I was!" So, I'm looking ahead till then!

Gotta run, catch you guys later! Much lurve!

Friends

Here’s to friends who are there in the good times and in the bad
Sometimes you wish you never knew them
And sometimes you can't do without them.
Friends know you so well; they can tell when you’re happy, sad, pretending you’re not angry with them, when you really like that guy you tell them you hate.
Friends you’re just happy to be around,
Who bring the best out of you and encourage you to be strong.
Friends who you can be yourself with,
Friends you don’t have to pretend to be something else with.
Friends who can trust you with their biggest secrets…with their lives.
Friends who stay in your memory through out your life,
Friends that you’re thankful to God for.
Friends, who though are not perfect you are ready to overlook their faults.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes and in the most unusual places.
Here's to friends that have touched our lives

Psychic tag

Question 1:
Imagine you are in a desert (are you there?);
now imagine a ladder (are you seeing it?);
Now what is the position of the ladder? i.e. Lying down, Resting on something, Standing alone...
It’s standing, dunno if it’s resting on something but I can only see the ladder

Question2:
Image a horse in that same desert (are you there?);
what is the colour of the horse?
What is the horse doing?

It’s a chocolate brown horse
It’s just standing there turning it’s head from side to side swinging it’s tail and looking at me

Question 3:
Come back to reality...
Give three reasons why you like water:

Quenches your thirst plus its good for you skin, digestion stuff like that
You can use it to make food
You can use it for cleaning stuff


Question 4:
What is your favourite colour?
Give the three reasons why you like that colour:

At the moment it’s green
It’s very bright so it just catches your eye
It ‘s kind of calming and sensual
It’s zingy

Question 5:
What is your favourite animal (Even if you don't like, what would it be if you do?)
Give three reasons why you like/would like that animal.

Cute little dogs
As mentioned above, they’re cute
They’re portable
They’re suitable companions

Question 6:
Imagine you wake up in a white room with no door, and no window.
What will be your first reaction?
What will be your reaction afterwards?

I’d first of all think someone was playing a trick on me and I’ll try to find my way out
I’d start PRAYING TO BABA GOD!

Question 7:
Without thinking, name two opposite sex names that are not your family member:
Tega
marc
(I had to think cuz I was just coming up with random names of people I didn’t know)

Question 8:
Without thinking, name someone from your family member:
Tee

Question 9:
Name anyone, same sex or otherwise, that is not a family member:
Jay

Question 10:
List four of your favourite music title:

Long way to go
I’m loving angels instead (is that the name of that song by Robbie Williams….I always thought so but it might not be)
Kiss from a rose
Dangerously in love

Question 11:
List four of your favourite location/city:
Lagos
London
Villa
Erm…aunts house

Last One:
Arrange these animals according to your preference:
Tiger, Sheep, Cow, Monkey, Eagle

Eagle, Tiger, Monkey, Sheep, cow

Vals day: what does it mean toyou

Hey guys! watsup? Hope you all had a fun week. My week was cool.Today my friends and I had a water bomb fight...I know quite stupid considering the fact that it's winter but we weren't thinking and it was really fun.You should have seen me running up and down dripping wet!

Anyway, not much planned for the weekend, might go out tomorrow to the movies, bowling or somewhere and I might just pop into the shops. Last weekend I bought the cutest shoes ever, which I would not normally buy as they were heely shoes but I'm taking overwhelmed's fabulous tip. Everyday since I bought it, I try them on and look at my self in the mirror and they just make me so happy! Gosh! I didn't know you could get this much excitement from shoes!

As you might have noticed, I don't have anything in particular to talk about,I've ran out of things to say and now I'm scrambling my brain for something tangible to write about. Yeah, I'm trying to get somebody to send me val's gifts. Yeah,I know sound desperate but hey! whats a girl to do when the only excuse apart from birthdays to give gifts is coming and she's got no potential gift-giver? I've been working on it but you know I gats to do it jejely I don't want to the guy to pick race. If worst comes to worst, I'll just buy my self a gift and post it to my self. LOl... hopefully it doesn't come to that! All of you that are single and there's some random guy breathing down your next asking you out, let me give you some advice: Answer him. Even if it's just for the sake of valentines day, after that give it one month max, give him some excuse and tell him to carry im load comot. Sounds harsh?...... sit down there, when your friends will be gushing about their very romantic gifts on that day and you'll be sitting there with not even one rose to call your own, you'll tell me if it still sounds harsh.( Guys, sorry but thats the way it is, look on the bright side though, it'll be your chance to hook her for good if you impress her very well.)My sec.school was a girls school so we used to match junior girls(not just any other j.girl, the type you knew was willing to buy better gifts) and senior gals up for vals. On vals day, the junior girl would have to bring a gift for the senior girl and the senior girl would just give the j.girl assorted biscuit (any biscuit apart from cabin biscuit), drink, chat for a bit and thats it. The J.gal has gone away happy and the senior girl now has her gifts, you guys could become friends or you could just say hello to each other, or you could just ignore each other, whichever one suited you best. Things were so much easier back then Sigh! Seriously. For me vals day is all about the excitement of recieving gifts, it might probably mean something more if I was in love but for now that's what its all about! If you have any other opinions on vals day, feel free to drop your comments.

Hope you guys have a fab weekend, Until next time; STAY FABULOUS!

Perfectly boring!

I hate being in the midst of people that don’t speak English and especially don’t speak it even when I’m sitting at the same lunch table as them. I’ve told them countless times that it is rude to speak their language when someone who doesn’t understand it is there but they always slip back into it. I guess I can’t blame them cuz even me I lapse into naija English with my other naija peeps, which apparently they don’t understand. These peeps are cool when they speak English but when they are not….Gosh! They could be planning how to cut out my lungs during my sleep, for all I know, or worse they could be gossiping about my lunch saying I eat like a pig! For your information I do not eat like a pig! Talks about anorexia, these guys have it all. I mean how can a normal person survive by eating food like this:

Breakfast: 1 slice of bread, with a thin spread of butter, I apple and 1 cup of orange juice.

Lunch: A bowl of salad and 1 cup of yoghurt

Tea: The only time they have a plateful of food (even though, the only thing I can see are huge pieces of green leaves!)

So, can you blame me for imagining that they were actually fantasying about my food! I will not be intimidated just because I eat like a human being cuz I know I so do not eat like a pig! At least, I’m not so skinny that you can’t tell the difference between me and the skeleton in the biology lab! I’m a healthy size 10 and even at that my relatives are still complaining, they’re always like ”Tiwa! Look at your long neck, you better eat good food, ounje oyinbo yen, tio o on je ni on fa a”(this was a major failed attempt at writting yoruba..I know...lol..) But I’m not bothered cuz I like me the way I am.( Although , I kind of wish I had bigger boobs, but at least I’m grateful I have something, I know 20 yr old peeps who have nothing but groundnuts on their chests plus I still got time). I look in the mirror and admire my lovely tiny eyes, that make me look as if I’m squinting all the time, my slightly (very slightly) protruding front teeth, my long neck, my small boobs and my ugly feet and despite these imperfections, I still think I’m beautiful (I know I am cuz I get people telling me everyday, every where I go, they just can’t help but stare at me….lol) and these imperfections are what make me who I am ,Tiwalade.

Imagine being perfect, it’ll be so boring! You’ll have the same clothes as the other perfect “IT” girls, the same perfect shoes, the same perfect hair style, the same perfect faces (thanks to plastic surgery!), the same perfect size (that’s a size 6 by the way). To everyone out there who thinks they’re anything less than FABULOUS because of their imperfections, you got all WRONG! That’s what makes you the beautiful person you are!

I know I have seriously diverted from my original topic but hey “out of the mouth (or rather out of the keyboard)speaks the heart” Stay fabulous!!!

Look at me I'm fabulous!

Hey guys! Yesterday I wrote a very juicy and detailed post on my underage stalker but due to some complicated technicalities, it disappeared. Due to my inability to be arsed to write another long post, all I have for you are my ramblings.

Finished my exams today YAY! Next plan of action is me and my girls plotting our night out on the town and how we're gonna get into a club. Does anyone know anyone who can supply fake IDs? Unfortunately and fortunately, I know this isn't going to work out. It's unfortunate because it would have been a fun way to unwind after exam stress and it's fortunate because really and truly I don't want to go clubbing, I’d rather do something more exciting like...stay up all night and watch movies and gossip (I know I'm so not fun) but really I prefer this sort of night to going out to a club that is so much more stressful.

By the way, I've finally decided what I want to do this year. Quite frankly, I'm a rather confused girl. I’m caught up in the middle of so many things and I don't really know what I want, I don't know exactly what I want to become. So I'm setting out on a journey of self discovery and I want to be fabulous every step of the way. Even if the process takes longer on the inside I want it to begin to show on the outside. So If you guys have any tips on being fabulous, bring it on!

I just thought I'd mention that I'm loving Kirk Franklin’s album "Hero". I rarely hear any good Christian music that when I do I love them so much. There's also this Bible audio CD that I heard about. It has loads of actors and actresses taking on the voice of characters in the Bible and bringing them to life. The cast list includes people from Denzel Washington to Angela Basset to Yolanda Adams to Tyrese Gibson. I hear it's really good so I might be getting that, you guys can check it out.

On to something totally different. You know that guy I mentioned that I liked but didn't like anymore after a while....well now he has a girlfriend and jealousy is eating me up. I've told myself over and over again "Tiwa, you do not like him anymore and you will not be jealous" but it doesn't seem to be working cuz every time I see them together, I just get this pang of jealousy and even though I pretend not to notice them, I can see every move they make. Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. I thought I had moved on... but it seems that no matter how much I hate to admit it even to myself, I still have a major crush on dude. Hopefully it's just a phase I'm going through.

Catch y'all later!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Hey guys, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!lagos has been kool,....well not really, its been more like hooot!On new years eve I went for a fireworks display and you shouold have seen me jumping up and down like a chicken!Knockouts were flying everywhere..and I thought I was going to go deaf but afta like 10 mins I started to enjoy myself and I joined in in throwing the knockouts and watching the beautiful display of fireworks. After that went to church just in time to meet the years ending so that I could pray my way into the new year.As far back as I can remember, I've always said my first Happy new year in church. I think it will be a bad omen for the year if I'm not in church, I don't know why I just do.nyways hope all ofyou have made your new year resolutions, something I don't bother doing because I don't stick to it.I dont have much to sayso ciao!!

Tipsy

It's been a while..the internet hasn't been working in school and all that. lots been happening and I'm still trying to catch up!my birthday was on thursday turned 17 YAY! came back to london yeasterday and today I'm going to Lagos!
It was quite hectic in school trying to finish up all my work a week earlier than others but it was all worth it cuz by Gods grace tommorrow I'll be basking in the Nigerian sun.

For the first time in my life I got a little tipsy (note: not drunk just tipsy)thanks to my lovely friends that took me out to dinner on my birhtday. They kept offering me more and more wine and me too I kept drinking it.After us lot drinking too much wine we started singing on the streets before we headed the play ground.T'was quite fun and very giggly.

I'm happy I've left school for a bit cuz my horizons have been quite limited and short sighted.That's the reason I started fancying one guy, that outside school I would not even think twice about.....Okay I might look twice cuz this guy is FIT! but I won't think too much bout him. He was the one I said was giving me mixed signals in my previous post.But now I honestly think I'm over him cuz I just can't work him out. One minute, he's all over me and I'm thinking the guy is feeling me. The next time, he's just acting all cool and distant.So I've decided he probably just likes me as I friend and I think I was just confused, I don't really like him its just...ot uf a limited number he's the most faciable guy to me.However, I'm sure if I see more eye candy I'll totally forget all about him cuz I so do not want to be thinking about one guy dat does not even ja me face!

45 Random stuff about me!!!

I've finally gotten round to doing one of these memes. Everytime I try to do one it always looks like so much work but anyhoo here goes

Whats your name spelt backwards?:) awit! see,even with my name spelt backwards I'm still a wit…lol
What did you do last night?: Had a spanish lesson and watched team America.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:I don’t remember
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: What!! who does that? not me!
Last time you swam in a pool?: I dont even remember...i think like 5 years ago
What are you wearing?: white top, green cardigan,jeans,white trainers…(yup repping naija green ,white ,green)
How many cars have you owned?: Well, let me see ..first I had the rolls, then the jaguar and I just got the rover..so that’s 3 not bad eh?…..(na beans!)
Type of music you dislike most?: hardcore metal..argh its just a load of noise
Are you registered to vote?: nope..under 18s not allowed.that law should be ammended. 16 yr olds are allowed to go into the army and be killed but they can't vote for their leaders.
Do you have cable?: I don’t think I can survive without it
What kind of computer do you use?: It is written on the computer i'm using right now ;LG
Ever made a prank phone call?:yup! those things are fun ..there was even a time we called this number and a guy picked it up. told him I was a unilag chick and we'd met before, the guy was too happy he thought he had struck gold..he was like his wife was with him at that time so he couldn't talk but that he'll be coming to my school this evening to pick me up , that I should give him my name and the name of my hall. Can you imagine the shameless man, he was old enough to be my father Oh! Useless man but that was a good laugh
You like anyone right now?: yess! and its so frustrating cuz the guy is just giving me mixed signals!
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: God forbid! bungee what!
Furthest place you ever traveled?: Nigeria to london
What's your favorite comic strip?: don’t read ‘em
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: Yup, after singing that naija national anthem everyday on assembly ground in school..
Shower, morning or night?: mornings and sometimes both
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: Casino royale..that movie was too bunz.. the guy isn’t that fine but he was really cool
Favorite pizza toppings?: chicken and sweetcorn with peperronni...yummy
Chips or popcorn?: chips!
What cell phone provider do you have?: Tmobile
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:peanut shell!!! no oh!
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:yup in school and i'm proud to say I won
Orange Juice or apple?: orange
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: couple of friends!
Favorite chocolate bar?: Dat one is hard oh!but its between kit kat,snickers,toblerone and bounty

Who is your longest friend and how long?: my longest friend is a sweet heart and its been 6 yrs

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: Don't think so
Have you ever won a trophy?: got one in pry school for coming first in a race
Favorite arcade game?: dont know what games they have in the arcade.. do they have tetris in the arcade?
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: Nope!
Sprite or 7-UP?: aren't they the same?
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: yup to school.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: I dont think they have that shop where I'm located

Ever thrown up in public?: thankfully not!

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:)finding true love..you cant beat that!

Do you believe in love at first sight?: i believe in instant attraction at first sight not love

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: they're both very stupid

Did you have long hair as a young kid?: Nope. used to cut my hair and i remember the first time I cut my hair in pry school, my teacher kept going on about how I was now the smartest kid in her class cuz I had my hair cut...?don't ask ME why!

What message is on your voicemail machine:"hello..hello..heeelloo..whos this?.. Why're you calling? .. im' not here right now.. so drop a message .I'll holla back, bye!"

Where would you like to go right now?: To lagos!

What’s the name of your pet?: Don’t have any pets

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: don’t carry a backpack, but I’ve got hand cream, usb cable,pack of tissue, pencil case, one huge text book and a couple of notes, vaseline, a mirror , purse and loads of receipts

What do you think about most?: How the hell I'm gonna do all my school work in so little time!
{I tag anybody who reads this!)

Home sweet home.. no more cold

Mehn! I'm literally counting the days till I go back to naija.I've only been away for a year yet it feels like millions of years.Christams is gonna be so fun! All my family people are going to be there and we're going to seriously rock lagos!!I just hope everything goes according to plan because this one I've started making mouth...I've not even bought my ticket yet but mumsy says I should not worry...i'm not worrying but hmm.... me I must sha go to lagos this christmas!

Last year's christmas was so shite! Everyone's like "Oh!christmas is coming" and the houses are all lit up and everything seems to be getting ready for a climax on christmas day... On the so called christmas day everything is so boring,you just sit in your house and eat your christmas turkey. You can't even go out for the fear that you will die of cold! Talking about the cold, yesterday was horrible. I went on a school shopping trip to manchester.Typical me, I walked round the mall till my feet were sore and I had seen all the seeables and bought all the buyables.Anyway,I was looking forward to getting back, having dinner and completing my course work. All for the bus to break down on the way back to school and we had to stand outside in the cold. We couldn't stay in the bus because of one safety issue like that..we could get hit by a car while we were in the bus or the car could explode,oyinbos and their safety issues, if it was in naija even if the car is bringing out smoke they will still be in the car and be like "explode ko..explode ni.. wo! just buy pure water and pour it inside and lets be going"..oh bless them! Anyway, the getting out of the car didn't make it any better because we could have also died in the cold they told us to stand in. When we thought it couldn't get any worse, it now started raining..mehn! it was so not funny! we stood there waiting for AA to come for almost an hour! At one point I had to start laughing cuz if not I would have cried plus we were squeezed together in one big circle trying to stay warm and we all looked like penguins! Not long now tiwa..you'll soon be in the warm climate of nigeria and then you'll be complaining of the heat.

Nyways, all you people spending your christmas in jand pele Oh! while you're eating your christmas turkey , I'll be eating some efo riro..lol! don't let me rub it in too much! bye!

What's it gonna be?

I've always had perfect eyesight, my grandmother is 64 and she doesn't use glasses. So how come at this young age I cant see properly again. I’m so pissed of at this and although in sec. school I always wanted to wear glasses, now the thought of it is horrible. I guess I can use contact lenses but the thought of poking myself in the eye everyday that's even worse! Sigh.

In school, we're doing a work experience thing were we have to find work placements for a week in a place in line with what we want to become. That is a major problem for me because I don’t know what that is. I guess I have an idea...more like i have lots of ideas of what I want to be. I’ve wanted to be so many things in my life. When I was younger I wanted to be a singer and I used to sing everywhere I went. After that, I wanted to become a lawyer, cuz everyone was always saying I’d make a good lawyer as I used to argue a lot with everyone about random stuff. Then in Jss1, I wanted to be a cardiologist.... I don’t even know why, I guess cuz the name sounded fancy. Then, I wanted to be an accountant or just a businesswoman who wore proper corporate clothes and worked in a big company. The idea of becoming an accountant went squash when I found out that accounting is the most boring thing I could ever do, I barely passed it my WAEC. Now, I think I want to be a corporate lawyer but I'm not very sure about that now cuz it doesn't sound very interesting and I still want to be a model/singer (although these are dream as a result of watching to much Britain’s next top model and X-factor!). I really need to sort this out.

All my aunties are always asking " so tiwa what are you going to study in uni?" "What do you want to be in future?" most of the time I always just say something random like " Oh! I want to be a pilot" or "I'm going to study engineering" blah blah but that’s only to save face cuz I don't want the "You have to know what you want to be" lecture as if I don’t know that already. Sometimes I think I don't really have to worry I can just study anything and in future hopefully I marry a rich guy and I don’t have work hard for money, I'll just have a shop to keep me busy. But I know that’s not a good plan what if the rich husband doesn't surface? I'll have to struggle for the rest of my life. I want to get a degree and get a really good job so I don’t have to struggle like that.

Anyway, I've yarned too much I have to go and do some homework.... arghh! Tell me, why am I in school again…yeah I know so I can get a good degree and a good job and have loads of money! If only it was that simple!

Truth versus lies

Hey guys! long time.I've been really busy with school work and stuff.This A level is work oh! but I'm ready to stick it out.

Last week I caught the "I want a boyfriend" bug that was floating around in school. At first I was like Why are all these stupid girls moaning about wanting a boy friend, then it hit. The love sick couples holding hands and kissing everywhere get to you. At first it was very irritating( it still is) but after a while you start thinking " oh! I wish I could have that". Anyways, so I joined the I want a boyfriend team. All the other girls had a guy they fancied, but I didnt( well I have one but its very complicated so I might as well just forget it)so I wanted a boyfriend and I couldn't have one, not while I was in this school! So I just had to get over it. One of my very serious friends who I didn't khnow was in our "I want aboyfriend team" had a guy she liked. He's actually the guy half of the school girls like, he is fine but apart from that I don't know what they see in him. The guy is a well known player. My dear friend knew his reputation, it was even a topic of discussion in their family cuz both her parents knew him and thought the same of him, but she was falling hard and fast. They had been emailing each other for a while and the guy was kinda hinting that he liked her.She confronted him bout his player ways and the guy gave one very touching story that he wasn't what she thought he was and said that she was his dream girl in pry school(cuz they went to the same primary school)and all that very soppy stuff

This kind of situation is very difficult, you know the facts in your mind already, that the guy is a player but one part of you wants to believe him, wants to believe that even if he was, he'll be different to you. You know, just like in the movies, the bad guy meets this girl and completely changes because of her.Even if you know that he's probaly lying , the idea of that romance, makes you believe it.This was the dilenma, me being the romantic that I am was, kept urging my friend to belive him and give it a chance.

The problem was that this guys ex, Who is my friend's friend(lets call my friend Bibi)told bibi that she still likes the guy. Ex had a party last week and guy was there.There was a rumour that the two hit it off, bibi asked guy about it and he denied it.Guy, probably didn't know that Ex and Bibi used to talk, so one day bibi and ex were talking and katakata burst.Ex said that guy and her kissed and all and bibi told her her own story.As thay were talking now,guy was coming and immediately he saw the two of them together he ran away.

I know this isn't a very serious situation,its not like he was going out with any of them but the thing is how do you know when guys are lying. It's like their lies always seem more like the truth and their truths more like lies.The line betwen lies and truths becomes so blurred that you don't see it anymore. Seriously, its a matter of God help us! Only God can help us.I think I've gotten rid of the "I want a boyfriend bug" but its still lingering somewhere there.All the fantasies still lurking behind the common sense.Waiting for the next guy that will make them reappear. As for now they're tucked safely away.

The emancipation of my mind

Hi everyone! the thought of coming back home for half-term was all that was on my mind about a week ago, right now I'm thinking " I'm so freakin tired of this house I wanna go back to school!" Yesterday, I was looking forward to meeting my friends in church and getting into some holy spirit groove. Needless to say, I was quite dissapointed, I just didn't get the same high I normally get from going to church. I guess it's more to do with me than with the church.

Right now, I'm trying to get(my mum's trying to get) a ticket to lagos for this christmas and its so freakin expensive!I hope I still get to go.

On to someting entirely different, I am a very complicated person. Oh so complicated, sometimes I myself don't believe the stuff that goes on in my head but the thing is this complication does not go outside my mind it just stays in there. I have built this wall around myself, no one can get into my mind because if you know what I know, if you know all what I've been through, if you know what I think , you might think I'm wierd or you might pity me or you might just never talk to me. I'm just so scared to let anyone in and I've done this for so long that now I fear that no one knows me at all. When I come to think of it no one really knows me at all even the close friends that I have, most of the time I'm quiet. So everyone thinks I'm just quiet but they don't know that I have so many words I wanna say but they just won't come out and I just end up just doing surface talking about things that don't really matter or concentrating on every other person. I'm just living, breathing, walking, talking because i have to. All my passions, wants, fears are hidden so deep inside me that most of the time they don't exist. And now, I'm tired of being this person that I'm not or rather of not being the person that I really am. Everything I have stored is now eating me up inside. I want to let go of all the inhibitions I've placed on myself. I have enough things to blame for my closing up but what's the point, I'll just be a victim of life and that's what I don't want to be, a victim. I will not be pitied. I, am responsible for whatever I become, not my circumstances, I am responsible for my life not the people around me. It might be hard but I'll take it step by step, not being afraid to be me.

Okay, before your mind starts doing 360, I am not a lesbo ok?!Its just other stuff bout me that peeps don't know. I hate acknowledging the bitter parts of my life, it's just that sometimes they come up and it's stuff that nobody knows I've been through or I still go through so there's no one to talk to it about and I just have to let it out somewhere. Thank God for anonymity in the blog world.

Y'all have a safe week. Bless!