What..What..Whatever!

I've been meaning to blog for a while but whenever I sat down to it, my mind went blank. My minds been doing that alot lately before I used to think too much now I almost don't think at all until the 30 mins before i doze off. I think it's cuz I'm really busy with school and with other inconsequential things. Yet my unconscious mind is brimming with issues. Whenever i do try to think they all come rushing in struggling for my attention that it all becomes a blur, nothings clear and it just gets more frustrating so i just close up my mind and sleep.

I can't keep doing this. I have to deal with stuffffff. but it's not easy. Sometimes I can't even see things as they are and I am begginning to doubt my own judgement. I sound like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but I know I'm not. I just wish I had someone I can offload to. Not everything ( I know how stifling that can be) just some. However the lack of someone to offload to I fear is my own fault. Put the walls up in all my relationships. I always just used to be a listenr and I was good at it. But now I can't bear to listen when I have all my own wahala to deal with already.
School's stressin but I'm not letting it get to me. I'm starting to feel an urgency..like I need to start doing the things I've always wanted to do. Singing, modeling. I'm trying to get even the smallest oppotunity/contact but it's not forth coming. Not because they don't exist but because I haven't pushed hard enough. I feel the urgency but I just sit back and chill. I read this book about if God wants a certain something to happen/ If it's meant to happen ..God will provide the opportunity everything without me looking. I guess that's what i'm waiting for some opportunity tro just drop in my lap. I know.....so not happening.

Whatever!

Little's there to do
Not much... just a thing or two.
You don't have to worry
Someone else is coming
they'll do it for you.
I hear the clock ticking
I hear the car drive in
Keys turn in the door
Bag drops on the floor
There's all the time in the world.
There's nothing in the fridge
whats baby gonna eat?
I haven't paid the bill
shit! that's why there's no heat.
I was gonna get some treats
Do them up with all the frills
Oh well! Another time
Righ t now, it's bed time.
Maybe tommorow I'll be free
but no! I have to meet Steve
Oh Whatever...I think I need to sleep


Just wrote this to sum up my situation. I didn't do justice but...whatever! LOL!


On to a much happier note...I'm looking for the perfect dress to wear to my leavers ball. I can see it in my mind's eye already. Grecian like, jersey fabric. Colour' s either peach, pale lilac or any pastel colour sha. It's short an obviously fabulous. Now it only remains for me to find it! I will surely having fun trying to find it. But really I can see my hair , make up, jewllery, shoes errything is set in my mind. lol..Good luck to finding it Tiwa! That's all I can say. It really would be great if I can come very close to it! I'm off to search. Abeg if y'all know any good online sites for fab clothes...help a sista out in fufilling her dream. Lol


PS: I heard about the crazy indecent dressing bill they want to pass in Naija. Complete and Utter madness! God help Nigeria. (God help me too)

Stay fab everyone and don't be complicated, unambitious, lazy and procastinate like me.
( I really do need help)! lol

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year Every body!! I’ve been on a long hiatus cuz of exams and stuff but now I’m back. Even though it’s been a month since I got back from Lagos, I’m still feeling revived and refreshed from my holiday. From what I see a lot of bloggers went to the motherland as well for Christmas/new year. Sha, now everyone is back to their respectful and rightful places. School is such a drag! Like seriously, exams started two days after my holiday. Who came up with the stupid idea of having exams straight after Christmas hols….where are you supposed to fit in study among all the celebration! Anyways, at least I’m done now. I’ve started counting down till the end of school… 19 weeks to go till the end of exams and the end of school. Ahh! I can then begin looking forward to wild nights in Uni. Wild nights of play and wild nights of study (I’m trying hard at the moment not to think of the latter part). I really can’t wait. I’ve been waiting to go to Uni since grad in Naija. But I got stalled by doing A levels and taking a gap year prior to that. Nyways, now the wait is soon to be over!

Anyways, just wanted to drop a little poem I wrote the other day.

Slowly and quietly at first.
Like little drops of rain,
That cures the dry land’s thirst.
Suddenly it becomes
a burst of staccato drums.
Angry drums of a war song
Waiting for peace to bring it to rest.
Like a child awaits soothing at birth.

Listen to me.
Yes, I yearn to be heard
From a high up stage.
Oh that I can be seen and read
On a glittering page.
Till then, I will roar
At the injustice of being locked away.
Still, I will endure

Release me.
From within your soul, I will grow.
From inside your dreams, I will show.
You and I shall never be at peace
Until I am free.

It still needs a bit more polish but it still one of the only one of mine worthy to be displayed.

I’m liking daddy’s girl’s carnival series…encouraging the true spirit of loving yourself.
Naija fine boy is back! Let’s hope he doesn’t pull a ten month hiatus before returning again.
Naija vixen: Hey what’s up with your blog? Hope you’re good though?

I sent a stalker-ish email to Snazzy. Lol! Err… I really don’t have a reasonable explanation for that.. I guess I was bored. Nyways, sorry if I freaked you out.

(Found out my cousin is a blogger. I’m supposed to be anonymous so can’t really open up. But it’s quite funny cuz they’re always talking about their blog and other blogs and there I am acting all clueless about blog world.)

To all my peeps: God’s love and stay fabulous!