Whats in a name?..its MY WORLD!...who am I? Well, lets work that out together..Shall we?

Shivers down my spine

2009-11-24T00:40:00.004Z

SO..I decided to come and have a peek at my blog today and I just got the feeling that I might be ready to blog again. I'm still figuring it out but in the mean time I decided to write a little summin. Just as I was about to sign in, I tell u I got shivers of excitement down my spine!Literally. I mean its been so long and I thought I'd lost the passion for blogging but I guess not. Anyhoos, I excitedly typed in my email address, password and clicked the sign in button..."your password is incorrect". Huh?..another possible password..same message. Utter disbelief! I forgot my blogger password..lol.

So, basically i had to set up a new one..I guess its all linked to new beginnings. Somehow, I don't feel like I can continue on this blog even though I am definitely attached to it. If I do, start a new blog, I'ld love for interested readers to come along. So please drop your emails n I'll be sure to drop you the new link.

Life in the interim has been good though, lots of different stuff happening and I shall be glad to share them all with you soon ;-)

Adios Amigos!
X

Break in transmission

2009-08-09T11:35:00.005+01:00

SOOO... I've been AWOL for a long time. It's been due to restricted internet acess and lack of inspiration. In that time I've thought about shutting down this blog a couple of times..I feel like i've lost the zest for blogging. When I stumbled across blogville 3 yrs ago, it was what I needed, it was this new, exciting, unfound place. A place where you could be what you really wanted to be and it gave you acess to other peoples genuine selves as well.

Now, I feel like blogville has evolved and maybe I have too. I do love this blog, cuz its like an extension of me and so Its hard for me to shut down. I might just leave it floating along in cyberspace and I might pop up in some other form on blogville. But for now nothing's certain except that there's a break in transmission.

I Will try to keep my footprints around on your blogs tho.

yours truly,
Me

I see nothing from afar but I'm far from nothing

2009-05-15T19:22:00.005+01:00

I missed my bloggyboo! lol. It's exams oh..I've been living in the library for the past week! Wishing all the people that are gonna be writting exams soon goodluck!Sorry for the random title.. just a catchy lyric from a cool song :-)..just felt the need to clarify

So, there was this heated debate on one of the comment sections on Bella naija about foreigners and "half-castes" in Nigeria. I really wanted to write a post about some of the issues raised there and just basically stereotypes in Nig but that requires too much thought and effort at this point so I'll have to postpone it to after exams. I really wish I had something more constructive to say but alas i don't so I'll do a quick 8 things thingie

8 random things on my mind...if you care to know
-I must pass my exams like !!! just cuz I know I can :-)
-All my life I've said I love jesus but I never really meant it till now..not that I hated him..but i didn't feel it or more like I couldn't feel his love..i knew that he loved me but I just didnt feel it. Now I feel like my hearts gonna explode from all the love <3 <3 <3
- I am so Full..lol..n the apple crumble was yum!
-I can safely say that I've flushed the Ex outta my mind! Thank God!
- Jus saw a pic of Rihanna n *sigh* the girls lost it..The picture I am talking about is clean oh! before you go n start assuming..lol
-I need to do my laundry!
-"Kara kata lo mata"..lol random lyric from a song I'm presently listening to on Gidilounge.
- And ooh talkin bout Gidilounge..jus heard my Ex by this dude called L...nice tune...I like the guy already although I do not share the same feelings he has for his ex

And I'm out!
xxx

The place I'ld most like to be right now is in your arms...but they're closed and I shut them myself

2009-05-03T00:37:00.007+01:00

Relationships are just....drama, stress etc. jeez so ended it with the bf and whoever said honesty was the best policy??Can I have a loaded ak47 so i can shoot that toot! I just had to go n be honest..and say all the things I felt and why? turns out I'm a cold bitch..who knew

I'm glad it's over with sha, I can go n focus on my life properly now.

Yesterday, I didnt sleep till 5 am because I was watching Madea's family reunion and the thing was taking forever to stream. But I was so determined to watch it that I stayed up all night for it. I have never done a studying all nighter before oh? Its now for film. Lol. I just really wanted to watch it and couldn't wait till morning cuz I knew that by then I would have lost interest. It was worth it though...very good movie...so many deep truths were preached and it was funny as heck.

Saw this video on soulproxies blog and I thought I'ld share it with you. Enjoy

If not loving you with all my heart's a crime..then i'm guilty

2009-04-23T00:39:00.007+01:00

Gosh! this is very bad! Ok...rewind back to like to weeks ago. I was all happy in like and happy that me and bf finally got together and ready to brave any problems that come with long distance. Err..right now I'm thinking "What the hell was I thinking?!" *sob* this is exactly the situation predicted by my personality test i took a few months back

It is also true that you rarely fall in love because your expectations of your partner are very high and only very few will meet them.However, when it happens to you, things can get pretty intense. Then you even throw your previous taciturnity overboard, and compared to your normal behavior, you get loquacious and drippy. But that usually doesn’t last long, as soon your analytical and rational part returns from its vacation, puts the entire matter under a microscope without mercy, and woe to your partner if he/she did not reach the required standards in some respect!

I can't believe how true that ish is! darn it. I was talking to a friend about it and she was like "sha don't make any rash decisions" Er I already did by jumping stupidly into this thing in the first place. I mean, he's OK but is he really the kind of guy I see myself being in a relationship with? no. I don't want to totally destroy his character on here cuz , really he's not that bad and I did like him. But as the "profound" quote from a movie I watched recently says " There's what you like and there is" . He is just not it. And now I feel very guilty cuz for like the past two days he didnt call and I was really thinking Stupid boy he didn't even call, its even better and all that so I did'nt bother to call/text him. Only for him to call and say that he's been ill for the past two days and ladida. Then he told me he loved me (which I don't believe anyway and is a whole different issue for another day) but then I had to say it back( Well, I didnt HAVE to cuz he didnt force my mouth open) cuz theres was like an akward pause. I feel so phony/fake?/feel free to insert any other word. I really have to tell him how I really feel but I really don't want to hurt him as well. And, maybe it's just a phase but I don't think so. I just don't understand how I can fall so easily out of like? Geez!

Anyhoos I just had to let that out. and btw I'm considering goin private..much safer.

Lets get personal

2009-04-06T20:11:00.003+01:00

Right now I have lots of things on my mind. First off, remember the person I was missing in my last post? Well... after a few texts and phonecalls, we found out that we stll liked eachother and decided to give it go. I'm very happy about this but all of a sudden unsure as well. Like is this what I really want? Can I handle being in a long-distance relationship..something I told myself I'll never do. And to be honest I'm totally clueless about this relationship thing.. cuz this is my first proper relationship with someone I actually really like. And I still don't think I can totally commit to one guy...I'm to used to being free to mingle and all that....*sigh* thats a whole load of questions but I'll just see how it goes and not take this too seriously.

Other things in my head. I miss my best friend. She was my best friend when I was younger..we drifted apart due to distaance and just basically growing up but then we kinda became friends again although this renewed frindship was short lived. The thing is I felt like I was the one who did everything, I visited her, I was the one always calling etc and I always felt like she was in control of our friendship. I am a very independent person and so I hated feeling like I was being controlled or whatever and so I decided I'ld just let go and leave her alone. If she didnt call me I wouldn't call her and basically our friendship fizzled out. It's sad cuz she was someone I always felt I could confide in and I miss that cuz there's not many people I feel that way about and I think I want to reach out again. Don't know if its a wise move...cuz she might end up taking me for granted again..or maybe I was just being paranoid bout everything and the real issue is me?

Even if it isnt a wise choice, this is not the first time I'ld do something stupid. I always see to be making the wrong choices. Lord I need WISDOM!

I have quite a few stuff lined up for easter so I'm tres excited! Hope you guys are looking forward to the easter break as well..

lots of love Mon cherie(s)

Mii 2

2009-03-28T23:22:00.003Z

Been thinking about a certain someone all day and I miss him. :-( I wish I had been less afraid/hesistant and made the most of our past time together...but then i didn't think I'ld end up liking him this much.. Oh well!

On to other things, babes have been on a very relaxed P mehn. Just sleeping, eating, watchin tv, facebooking and checking out blogs... don't you just hate it when certain words/trends just come n hijack your vocabulary/wadrobe and you wonder how you were ever able to succintly express/attire yourself when said word/wear was not invented. And don't you hate it even more when the same thing seems to be happening to everyone, and you are all carried away with the euphoria of the new found word/trend till it begins to suffer from overuse and misuse. Then the word/trend is punished by being banished into the pit of common-ness, razz-ness and so-last-year-ness. Leaving you to mourn the loss of your love.

I have a love/hate relationship with "in"-things..specifically reffering to fashion. While I want to be trendy, I hate doing/wearing what everyone one is wearing. Urgh! I just hate the whole me-too syndromne, If I'm not one of the early rockers of such things it hurts my pride to join in later and I am not an (obvious)swagger jacker..if you start something I'll leave you to finish it. But I am a freaking hypocrite! Cuz in more ways than one I am a big "mii 2-er" *Sigh*

.....................I know

lots of sweet hearts
xo

:::......[[ooo]].......::::

2009-03-14T20:06:00.003Z

The days are getting longer and the sun is shinning brighter. Summer's round the corner and my hearts getting lighter. "I rhyme am well" just like M.I. Lol. If you don't understand you need to elevate your P and educate yourself bout M.I., kay? He's actually performing today in London...and I'm just confirming that I'm there in the spirit. lol

Thank you for the comments on my last post. Really thank you so much made me smile and made my heart all warm n fuzzy. :-)

So, I'm sure you guys are all aware of the recent changes to facebook...I absolutely hate it! Like evrybody's business is own your home page, every single wall message and what not. Apparently they're trying to copy Twitter with the whole "whats on your mind" thing mschew! Can they not just stay true to the tried and tested one we all loved? Have they never heard of if it's not broke, don't fix it??!

Ok, now my rant is over :-) Very similar to the statuses that kept cropping up on my home page after they made the changes yesterday. You can see how passionate peole are about their precious facebook. I know i am one of them as well. I've been trying to fight facebook though, and blogs as well. The amount of time I spend reading people's blogs and being on facebook is just ridiculous. So i gave them both up for lent for a day... that counts right? lol. i know just one day, 24 hrs but boy it was tough!

I found this article on yahoo: Get off facebook and get a life! very apt title. Basically it says that too much time being sent on social networking sites can lead to alterations in our genes which may have health risks and also affect our ability to communicate effectively with each other. Hmm

I know people who have deactivated their facebook accounts or who never had it and I think "Wow! How can you exist without facebook?" (Ok thats a bit extreme) But basically the whole facebook phenomena has changed a lot of things about our world. Talk about never getting out of touch with people. Old school peeps that you thought you would never see again suddenly pop up with friend requests. Some times, I think its a bit too much cuz you cannot keep carrying everyone you've known all your life along with you. So selective friend approval is key espeacially now with this new format that everyone can see what you're doing. Less dramatically you can just limit your profile etc.

Nyways, what are your thoughts peeps. To facebook or not to facebook? Are you a facebook addict, or used to be and conquered it?

Better now

2009-03-07T14:06:00.001Z

I feel so much better now and I'm so full of thanks to God cuz he's amazing. Thanks Buttercup for the hugs. Sending lots of luv and hugs right back at ya

:-(

2009-03-05T21:40:00.002Z

I am really sad and frustrated at the moment and needed somewhere to vent. Can't call anyone to moan cuz I just don't know how to call people to talk about my problems plus i don't even have any freaking credit on my phone. Facebook status was an option...but too crying out for help/attention- ish. And then I remembered my dear blog. My only space to moan and vent and say what I like.

I'm frustrated because I am broke. Like finished my overdraft broke and I have so many things I need and want to do. It's such a sad situation. And I'm just sad because i can only see the negative side of everything right now. I have been so up and down this week. Started really down and then I got better and thought "Phew thank God that's over" Only for me to come crashing down again. I've been crying out for God cuz he's the ONLY person I can call on but I can't seem to reach him or maybe he's the one who can't reach me cuz I've put myself in this thick cloud of negative thinking/ungratefulness. Hmph! I just need a really big hug right now to hold me till I'm done crying and I'll be okay after that.

update

2009-03-05T18:01:00.005Z

I hate how I always have to start a post with an apology about my absence from my blog but I can't help it because I feel like a bad little mommy who abandoned her child. I'm always here though checking out the latest updates on my blogroll and all but the inspiration to blog has just been nil. But I had to snap out of it cuz I was missing my blog too much.

Nyhoos, Naija bloggers awards is the latest development in blogsville. I hope you have all nominated someone for a category if not get to nominating...if the deadline is not past.

I have been keeping an eye on Kanye and his new arm candy lately and can I saw them two make an interesting pair. I dunno anything bout the details of their relationship but they've been seen at a couple of fashion shows together.

Chick has an interesting/edgy/kinda cool look and I can see that her style has been rubbing off on certain people. Hmm

YO!

2009-02-10T19:13:00.003Z

Yo people! So whats new in the life of moi? nothin much just the usual repetitive cycle of life and the chaos in mind. Nyhoos, I've been thinking, really thinking about how I want to start doing something USEFUL. Not useful for me but for other people around me. I figured it'ld be something to do with my three loves; God, Music and fashion. Hmm ..tough cookie. The God part has to do with the purpose of the project. So basically maybe like a charity thing or maybe a way of expressing God's love through music/fashion. Tricky I know. And the fashion/music bit will obviously be the content. If anyone has any bright ideas, or if you just think you'll be interested email me. U never know. Till then I'll keep working on it.

By the way, I watched Breakfast at tiffany's the other day and its such a gem of a movie! Loved it. Plus just look how fabulous Holly looks in that pic. I know you've all seen the picture before but really have you seen the fabulousity of it, the perfectly coifed hair with the tiara like hair thingy, the classic wayfarers, the exquisitely gorgeous in your face necklace, the long gloves, and the fact that shes holding a cup of coffee and a croissant(at least I think it is). Have you ever had you breakfast looking that fabulous? Over the top to say the least but undeniably fabulous. (Okay, if, i had a pound for every time I've said the word "fabulous" in this post I could slowly begin making my way out of this economic gloom..lol. sorry for the overdose but i couldnt think of another suitably appropriate word :-))

Vals day is round the corner...hmm.. interesting...wot u got planned? anything exciting? I'll find something to do but I have to make a mental note: next time you want to end a thing with someone do it after vals day, its more fun :-)

Did you hear that Chris Brown beat up Riri?? Wonders shall never end, I'll be looking out for the official true story cuz I refuse to believe everything I hear.

Alas, we've come to the end of another random post. Have a lovely week and its goodbye from me! (I should so be a tv host...not. lol)

Chocolate hearts!

The picture on my wall

2009-01-29T21:37:00.005Z

I feel a bit guilty that I'm leading a certain someone on...its not my fault really, he's quite pushy and I just go along cuz at the time I'm just thinking "What the heck! Just go along" But I quite regret that sort of thought now, because he's geting even more confident and I don't even really like him...hmm

One of the other thoughts that have been going on in my head include how I keep failing to reach the epitomy of being a true christain. I see all these folks in my church who seem to be so on fire and devoted to God and I think "why can't I be like that?" Truth is I don't really know the inside of anyone so I shouldn't even be measuring up my christianity against theirs. But even at times, I don't want to read my bible because I know that in there would be a call to perfection, to being and doing more than I think I can in my own strength do. Then , I found this comforting and encouraging exract from The diary of an old soul by George MacDonald while reading a book

"'Tis but a picture hung upon my wall

To measure dull contentment therewithal,

And know behind the human how I fall;

A vision true, of what one day shall be

When thou hast had thy very will with me"

I can only smile after reading that and I hope this would make someone smile too :-)

Michelle Obama

2009-01-21T11:55:00.004Z

Michelle Obama looks absolutely stunning in that dress! Just look at her coming down those stairs like a beacon of light...very refreshing. She is officially my new inspiration...i absolutely love her for her style, decorum, elegance, her eloquence, toughness, go-getter attitude.....etc...Watch out world, for the reign of a very prominent first lady!

My God given self

2009-01-15T16:47:00.010Z

I wrote a rather mean and somewhat true post bout myself earlier...but didn't post it but now that I got over my mood, I decided to post it anyway.

I am a confused child. Nothing is ever black and white, there's always off-white,cream and then grey. I don't even know what I want. I say one thing and do the opposite. All as a result of trying to satisfy every wish/urge/person..Even though thats not possible. I'm appalled by my weakness to stand firmly for one thing no matter what.

I need clarity in my head. Nothing s ever clear....there's always the unknown haunting me and taunting me stopping me from taking the next step.

I'm scared of everything. Scared of the past, the future and today. Scared to love and too scared to allow myself to be loved truly and completely. Scared of hurting myself and others and scared of others hurting me. I'm too scared to be me and too scared to be anything else. ..Wimp!

I've caged myself in a see-thru plastic covering. You can see me, I can see you, you can even poke me and try to touch me but you can never feel me. I'm a result of never being really decided/involved/dedicated to anything...just been going wherever the wind blows me.

I need something to help me don't know what. I probably shouldnt post this on my blog..I sound like the miserable nut case that I am.

Did a personality test on http://www.ipersonic.com/ . According to them, I'm an Analytical thinker...Here's a snippet of the description..if you can be bothered to read...I've edited to include only the bits i agree most with

Analytical Thinkers are reserved, quiet persons. They like to get to the bottom of things - curiosity is one of their strongest motives. They want to know what holds the world together deep down inside. Analytical Thinkers like to work alone. .They are always a little like an “absent-minded professor” whose home and workplace are chaotic. in general,they are quite independent of social relationships and very self-reliant. ..(True but I'm tired of this freaking self reliance...darn it...a little help is always good even though it would kill me to ask for it)

...It takes some time before Analytical Thinkers make friends, but then they are mostly friends for life. ; they need a lot of time alone and often withdraw from others. Their partner must respect this and understand that this is not due to the lack of affection. Once they have decided in favour of a person, Analytical Thinkers are loyal and reliable partners. However, one cannot expect romance and effusive expressions of feelings from them and they will definitely forget their wedding anniversary. (OMG...lol) You also give the impression of being quiet, cool, distanced and deliberate - everything is true. It is also true that you rarely fall in love because your expectations of your partner are very high and only very few will meet them.

However, when it happens to you, things - especially for an introverted Thinker - can get pretty intense. Then you even throw your previous taciturnity overboard, and compared to your normal behavior, you get loquacious and drippy. But that usually doesn’t last long, as soon your analytical and rational part returns from its vacation, puts the entire matter under a microscope without mercy, and woe to your partner if he/she did not reach the required standards in some respect! You have a very clear mental picture of your expectations and in this respect you are much too hardheaded and stubborn to be ready for any compromises. You would rather be alone than to put up with the second best, thank you very much.

So freaking true! Especially all the love related ones..lol.. God help me..I am going to defy this darn personality and evolve into a warm, open and loving girl...lol

Really and truly though, despite all my issues, I LOVE ME! Really I do, I'm so intricate and amusing in that unique way that alot of people do not understand...I think I'm really smart and strong, lovable etcetera etcetra

As you can see I'm my own biggest critique and admirer...such is life

Here's to my God given self and to yours!!!
xxx

The chronicles of Nigeria: The prince, the witch and the bad name

2008-11-30T23:17:00.005Z

First of all excuse the tackiness of my title..i jus couldn't resist..lol

Ok, is it just me that is frustrated with all the bad press Nigeria has been getting this past month?
First of all every Tom, dick and Harry is claiming to be receiving emails form Nigerian Princes and other guises that Nigerian scammers use. Supposedly, they have now even stepped up from emails to facebook. As in what the freak! I read three different articles about this in the past month alone. Those that are not even scammable plus the gullible ones that have actually been victims. Nigerians need to please stop disgracing our country and bringing all these stupid insults on our name. Abeg!

Next, it was the documentary that aired on channel 4 about witch children. Talk about bringing out all the skeletons in our closet! Ok, y’all know this phenomenon of children being branded witches and wizards has been going on in Nigeria 4rm time. But its one of those things you only hear stories about and the stories are always told from the perspective of the victimised family/bosses etc. Also all those dodgy Nollywood movies helped perpetuate the idea of these evil witch children. So, granted, we were ignorantly living with this phenomena without anyone recognising the plight of these stigmatised damned children. I think that’s why its good to get out of Nigeria to escape the suffocating mentality that you don’t actually notice until you’re out of it. You know like when you’re in a smelly room you become so used to the smell that it doesn’t bother you anymore or you don’t notice it until someone from outside comes in and makes you uncomfortably aware that you are sat in a smelly room. That is exactly the case with this documentary. It shamefully opened up our eyes to what we have been allowing in our country. To make it even worse it was now aired on Channel 4! Do you know how many people watch that channel? They were now doing reruns again?! Now almost every person in England will associate Nigeria with Ignorant, religous crazed people. Not minding that this documentary featured just one part of Nigeria but we will not go into that right now. Cuz really and truly the whole of Nigeria is afflicted with Religous crazed ignorant people..be it the extremism of sharia law in the north, the overzealous witch branding people of the south and just the ever readiness to blame any unfortunate incident on supernatural causes.

It did not end there oh! Some journalist went on to write a story about how day old babies were being sold over the counter in Lagos/ Enugu (the writer was confused about the location). That one got on the yahoo news headlines. That one caused another uproar about gross human rights abuse and yadayada. Excuse my language/tone. I’m not in anyway justifying or condoning all the stupid shameful acts that have been carried out by Nigerians but there is only so much damage that the Nigerian label can take! I mean I have to tell people I am from this goddamned country (We’re not goddamned in Jesus name…lol) and then I have to now be associated with all this bullshit.

Please this our generation better be more sensible. I can only hold a little hope that we would try to change our dirtied image in time. People in general just like to dirty our name whatever chance they get and we give them too many opportunities to do this! So people, pls try to be the best Nigerian you can be! American & British People love being branded by their nationality because they are proud of it. Whatever you do you cannot deny your nationality, so make it something you can be proud of.

I LOVE KANYE WEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-14T00:38:00.002Z

I just had to say this. No, I have not just seen him in concert. I wish I had. And no, I have not listened to his new album. I can't wait for it to come out!

But I just read an article bout him and he's lonely apparently and he needs love, so if you see this Ye, I LOVE YOU!!!!

Dudes and Dudettes

2008-11-10T22:36:00.002Z

Ok, so theres this dude I've been chatting to on the phone. I've never seen him before but he saw me at a party n got my number from a friend. From all the info I've gotten, dude is not that good looking but he has dough to make up for it. Not that it matters cuz I'm not THAT interested in faces or his money. At first I was not interested at ALL. As in I jus saw him as nuiscance. But a few phonecalls later, dudes not SO bad. At least he'll do to keep my phone busy right? Ok, so, now dude wants to meet up. Wants me to come down, and as much as I would love a free ticket to london I have made other commitments with my girlfriends at the only time it will be possible for both of us to meet. N after initially saying I would come, I changed my mind, cuz really, its bros (girls) before (male) hoes. So why am I feeling a tad bit guilty???? BS!

Onto a sweeter dudette, My handsome train lover! lol. I swear I'm in love with the guy. We had one long 2hr interesting convo on the train. Almost missed my stop cuz I was so into the convo. We're now facebook friends, one look at his profile and I've fallen even deeper in love! lol. I've been thinking about dude so much its crazy! I hope something good can come out of this... even though theres a 1 in 200 chance of this happening cuz we live in different cities, hes English, yes British English ( this is more a problem against me rather than for me cuz i don't mind dipping outside my race but does he?) and just a tad bit too short for me! lol! Despite my love being doomed, it's really fun, exciting and best of all pain-free!

I should really be working, cuz God know I have LOTS of work to do.
Nosa, will do the tag soon

Rasberry muffin love!!
me!x

Obama-mania

2008-11-08T11:29:00.005Z

Long time no write! been hella busy....and lazy i will admit =)

Nyways, so whats new? Barrack Obama is now the president of the United states...Is that surreal or what? I mean, I still remember those days when me and dude used to hang......lol. This is the current trend for everybody (Kenyans, facebook people with everyone profile pics n status, JayZ , the formerly proud "black republican" to be claiming Obama) so I decided to jump on the bandwagon. You know if u can't beat them join them. So, I'm telling you now- Obama used to toast me way back in the days...until that fabulous michelle came n stole my man n now my dream. I could have been the first lady! lol.

On the real though, dude has what it takes and the guy can Speak! I watched his acceptance speech and I was almost moved to tears and I'm not even American and the dudes father is not Nigerian. lol. So whats now my own to be feeling all emotional. I swear that guy put jazz on his tounge or something. Which leads me to something else, I have this funny/crazy feeling/theory about dude. But I am not about to share before people will crucify me.

Back soon.
xxx

Limited knowledge/ Free to be me

2008-10-04T11:57:00.001+01:00

I am now more than ever in a place where I realise they are so many things I do not know…yet. This unknowingness spans through almost every area I can think of; money management, spiritual things, the art of relationships, worldly things….the list is endless. I realise that I only know so little of these things and I guess this realisation is a good thing because it suggests the onset of a desire to know more and I read somewhere yesterday that its only when you get to the end of you knowledge/strength/resources that you can begin to rely fully on God. So, Jesus take the wheel! Before now, I sub consciously walked around like I knew a fair amount of things, you know, there were some areas I used to feel like a professor in. Now I laugh because they say and I paraphrase “In a blind mans kingdom, the one-eyed man is king” Therefore, it is walking among the “blind” that caused my superior thinking now I’m in the world of two-eyed men big time.

Forgive me for this me-me-me syndrome that is beginning to plague me. As, I said I really want to blog for me now. I mean I love the fact that you guys visit and even bother to comment. I used to be crazy about that stuff in the beginning, one comment from someone could literally make my day and it still does but its different now. Then I craved acceptance…it was all about the end product and how the “user” would relate with/perceive it. You know there were all these funny, witty, juicy gossip, interesting and drama overload blogs. I thought “if only I could be like them and have people drop like 50 comments on one post” lol… but you know what, I’m not, could even be that if I wanted to. I may not be funny, witty, have any thing particularly interesting to say, I may be random and confusing…heck! I don’t know…but I’m going to be me and if in the process of doing that I happen to interest/amuse you or whatever then, wow!... good for you!.

Really I think people ought to have like a mission statement before starting a blog so it can be really clear what you want…me I was doing follow-follow…I saw what other people had, a channel to express their opinion about anything and say what was on their mind, an open community and I wanted in but I didn’t actually cash in on it. I filtered my thoughts and everything…I was just blogging so I could get comments not that I got that many but those few I got where all I blogged for. And it’s nice to get comments but I got it twisted, I should blog for me and then if I happen to get any comments… an additional plus!

This blogsville issue is kinda parallel to real life. I’ve been ignoring myself, hiding, repressing myself so I can be the right model of good girl for mother/family/friends/teachers and everyone. I mean ok, I’m really a good girl sometimes but the problem is once you’re one you can’t stop being one cuz there are expectations and the pressure is killing! I swear I wish I rebelled more in my childhood. My sister moans that she hates being the “bad girl” but I envy her bad girl rep. she can mess up and not get much stick but then I guess she envies my good girl rep cuz people only speak friggin good of you! Labels in general suck! I pray I don’t make that mistake with my kids. Even the worst people have good in them and even the best people have some bad in them, overlooking either side could be fatal. I really just want to be free to be me…whatever that may be..

Lots of mushy strawberry love..lol
me

Changes

2008-10-02T23:51:00.003+01:00

Ok..so I've made a few changes round here as you can see. I'ld like to think that I've grown from the girl I used to be 3 years ago well at least I have a renewed vision of what I want and where I want to go in life. I'm definitely in a different place, a more personal place hence my ditching the blog title "Tiwa's world". . At that point in time I wanted to be someone else and to me that name and this blog gave me the chance to live as someone else..to be the person that I wanted to be but couldn't be in real life. . Anyway, a thats changed because now I'm ready to be who I want to be. ME. I'm not planning to loose my anonimousity. I cannot totally dissasociate myself from the name cuz its my blog address and everyone already knows me as that but nevertheless, I'm gonna be more personal and open...It's an issue of overcoming fear and limitations really.

Nyways, you are all officially invited to my world again..lol

Lotta luv!

update

2008-09-28T19:36:00.003+01:00

Okay, its been a whillle! I've been quite busy what with getting ready for uni and settling in and freshers week madness. NOw thats's all done with I'm ready to resume my sporadic blogging....lol cuz lets be honest I've never been a frequent blogger. But maybe now that I have internet connection on my laptop in my room instead of having to use a public computer, I'll be better.

Uni's been good so far..first few days were shiite tho. Haven't been out that much which is suprising to me infact cuz I thought by now I would have rocked every club round here... I've been hyped bout freshers week for ages and it just dissapointed a lot but I guess thats just a personal dissapointment cuz the peeps in my hall seem to be having a great time. Shame we're not getting along that well.

Met loooaads of people this week and I've been side-eyeing a lot of eye candy, one eye candy in particular ;-). Also been seeing alot of familiar faces....

My minds a bit disorganised at the moment , so is my room and a few other things right now so forgive me if this post is a bit distant and ramblish...actually I always ramble but today I'm just not on top of it...off to peruse other blogs..

chocolate hearts
x

2008-09-01T02:43:00.005+01:00

Its 2:30am and all of a sudden I feel like blogging. My mums just yelled for me to go to bed as we have to make an early start tomorrow, I should go to bed but I won't just yet because I finally have the laptop to myself. If I leave it to tommorow I'll never get round to blogging and i promised I'll be back soon so, here I am!! See how much I love you guys! Sacrifing my beauty sleep for you!!

Did my rounds on blogsville and tintin boy's back!! It's a cool blog and it would have been a shame to loose that one. Also, Ladi's been thinking big about the future and she's made me think I need to start planning my own business too mehn! Cuz really it can never be too early to start making money..abi what do you think?

Was watching Bisi Olatilo show today and I saw the randomest event.....Some fundraising thing for Obama In Nigeria. How ridiculous! Did he come to beg them for money?? Nigeria that needs fundraising for itself is now going to do stuff for a political candidate in America. Did they ever hear him in any of his speeches mention Nigeria?? So what is the point? Joblessness!..when there are so many other causes and problems that they could have helped instead! Mschewww!

Pls don't mind my jumping randomness from topic to topic, I'm in that mood. Went to this party the other day with mumsi and some other relatives and this old man (well, he wasn't that old but too old for me) was all over me! It was even a one year old party can you imagine?! I kept trying to run away from the dude and I thought I succeded. Only for me to get home and have the guy call me on my phone!! The sly guy got my number from a betrayer relative. Gosh! I was so annoyed and now I have to get the guy off my case. Mscheww! not happy! I'm sure you guy are wondering why I've been "mschew-ing" about the place. I just learnt the internet way of hissing! and since I'm not a great teeth kisser in real life, i might as well make full use of my cyber opportunity...lol. Allow me jare!

Need to go to bed now...
hugs
x

....

2008-08-27T15:20:00.002+01:00

Guys I'm tres sorry for the lack of updates. I've been very lazy to blog plus I have to use the house computer to blog and its not very easy to do undercover blogging with all the amebos aka the sisters hanging around my house. Nyways, Mz Dee gave me an ultimatum and thats what sprung me back to life...=)

So in the mean time..i got my results which were fantastic!! And now I'm waiting for everyone to wash it for me...fell free to send me stuff..lol. Apart from that things have just been generally mellow... well, besides all the preparation for my auntys big owambe party coming soon. And oh yeah! I went to nottinghill carnival which was a complete and utter waste of time and money...dnt lets go into it. As much as I would love to write a juicy or thought provoking post..I just don't have the blogspiration. But still I have fufilled all righteousness by keeping my promise to mz Dee...=)

I'll come back very soon!!!
xoxo

ARRRGH =) / Random

2008-07-30T20:13:00.008+01:00

Right now my sister is annoying the freakin heck outta me! Like really really annoying! Family...u can't live with them and you can't live without them.

I dunno why I constantly find myself trying to live up to the expectations of la famila and as a result, I earn the title of the "good girl" which I totally hate. Me I'll be good, while the other people can be out there and out of control and even though they criticize it they are actually praising the other persons behaviour as well in a way.

I try to be me...but sometimes its so difficult to do that in my family environment. I love all 30 or so of them( yeah I have a huge family and they are all involved in my liffe, one way or the other) and I appreciate their prescence in my life but sometimes they can be so narrow minded and critical it drives me nuts!

*Sigh* I feel like most times I put on this front of who I'm supposed to be, so much so that I think they don't really know me at all. However, I don't know how valid that statement is.

In psychology, I learnt that people have different personalities that they exhibit in different situations. So you don't just have a personality, you have personalities that all combine together to make you. So maybe, that person that they know is me because it's the best me I deem fit for that situation.
I think I've lost a good few people here..lol Didn't intend to write a whiny post but oh well. Man proposes, God disposes =)

On a totally different note, did you guys notice the lyrics of Lil'wayne's "A millie" song? Imagine the guy advertising Nigerians as people with very tough hair "I'm a young money millionaire, tougher than Nigerian hair" (you can listen to the song on my playlist). Please me i don't have tough hair oh! My hair is luxuriously soft and silky, in fact sef, I should be the one modelling for the hair product soft and silk.....lol .This is what I wish.

I have discovered a lot of bloggers that have made me really excited again bout blogsville. I feel like I've been out of the loop for forever actually because I've only known about the oldies..most of whom have packed shop. So I've uploaded the new blogger template which I didn't even know about...Gosh! I'm so stale ... I know and I've added all my new found treasures to my blog roll =)

I guess "thats just the way garri crumbles" as quoted from Vindication's blog...lol..I just had to add that in even though it doesn't really fit in.

Without even realising, I've been on blogsville for two years and a bit ..almost three years now. Time flies oh. Was looking back at my archives and I suddenlly realised how naive and innocent I was/am. The first time I got drunk/tipsy..whatever, the whole fiasco with my first kiss in spin d bottle..lol. and my official first crush...considering all this was only within the last two years..you don't have to guess that i was/am a very late bloomer...

Ok....I've been randomly rambling on long enough, so I'll just take a bow now as the shows is over and I hope thats a resounding round of applause I'm hearing..lol..see how i just stole Rihanna's lyrics

Nyways much love and stay fabulous!

...

2008-07-21T19:55:00.004+01:00

Last weekend was a good weekend despite the fact that I still haven't found me a summer job.
Went to a beautiful seminar that inspired me to start living my dreams. Its amazing the amount of people walking around with buried talents and its amazing how a lot of people will die buried with these unexplored talents beacuse of fear. I've decided to take little steps at a time. I met some producer/song writter guy at the event and at least thats one contact. The thing is as much as I'm willing to pursue my dreams of singing and modelling I don't really know where to start from.

I don't really have much to blog about or rather I do but I don't know how to articulate it into this post. Found a lot of new interesting blogs though that are keeping me busy and blogsville idols is heating up.

Nyways, I'm out guys
Have a fufilling week

Free!

2008-06-26T19:54:00.000+01:00

Free. That’s how I fell now cuz I have finished my exams!!! I am very happy as well but my happiness is slightly marred by the panic of what my results are gonna be. However, I’m trying my very best to stop worrying and just focus on having fun till the d-day. But mehn, it feels good to be over with school...at least for a while before I start all over again.

By the way, my old crush is coming to visit this weekend. He’s not coming to visit me of course as we were only really acquaintances. It really sucks cuz I kept forcing and convincing myself that I had forgotten all about him and couldn’t care less and it worked…until I heard he was coming. I mean I don’t really like him anymore but still its crazy cuz I’ve planned what I’m going to wear on all the days he’ll be around...lol. The plan is to make him regret that he let the chance with me go by and maybe even push him to spit some game. Lol…I know its not going to work but there’s no harm in trying...besides I really don’t have anything better to do with my time. I know I’m happy and free and all that now that I’ve finished exams but I’m also bored as hell. I really should pack my bags and just go home avoid the whole situation altogether but I wanna spend as much time with my school friends as I can now cuz I know there’s a high possibility that I will never see some of them again.

I was on pink satin’s blog the other day and saw that blogsville08 is coming soon. I am really contemplating becoming a contestant. I dunno though….still thinking. It would be really fun even though I’m not exactly Leona Lewis or Beyonce. As I said earlier on, I’m jobless, so anything to keep me busy. What I should really do is go and look for work, which I am planning to do soon. For now, I’m just enjoying this having nothing to do thing….I know, I’m very lazy :-)

Nyways, I’m out!
Stay blessed.

Buzzzzz

2008-05-16T20:13:00.004+01:00

For the first time in a while my head is buzzing with things to write. Such a buzz would normally produce a meaningful bunch of words that all together form a post worth reading. However as this buzz was/is generated in my humble head it is most likely to fall below expectations and come out in an incoherent form of rambling (something I am quite skilled at), so bear with me.

Before I start I need to rant about why most guys my age seem to be stagnating in a pit of immaturity and foolishness. Seriously, talk about people needing to kick start their brains instead of constantly trying to remind us of the existence of their precious organs by drawing sweet little pictures of them on anything they possibly can!
Phew!

Yeah, so back to other stuff, I have been busy studying for my exams which are supposed to be like an all consuming priority at the moment… (So tell me what I’m doing writing this post and flicking through blogsville for gossip??) Anyhoo, I’m sure I’ll be just fine (feel free to scoff at this point with comments such as “be deceiving yourself”). As I was saying...been busy studying so things in general are a bit dull. The end is drawing near and school as I know it would sadly/happily soon be over.

Been thinking, why do people love money so much? Stupid question right? I mean everyone likes money but mehn! Some people love money so much to the point that they are slaves to money. As in, I-would-sell-my-mother-for-money kind of love and this as the wisest book says “is the root of all evil”. No truer words have been said.

Lately, it’s like God has been opening my eyes to the things I usually ignore. I have begun to appreciate even more everything I have in my life. My education, my family, my friends and all the wonderful things God has blessed me with. It’s so easy to focus on all the negatives and forget about all the good things in ones life. So I need to stop complaining cuz I have so much to be thankful for. No how bad it gets I’m still better off than a lot of other people. Also, I realised that we are not just supposed to be better off for our good but for the good of others. You hear all about people suffering in certain parts of the world and we think about it for awhile and move on. We’re unperturbed by these people’s suffering because they seem so distant to us. But seriously we can do so much more, even if just by buying something more expensive than we usually would because it’s ethically produced. It might not seem likely to make a difference but it does. It won’t change the world, but it will help at least one person and that is enough. It’s the small things that count. Even by donating little money to charities such as Christian aid or Oxfam, you don’t have to become a millionaire before you can donate to charity. Or even starting in our own lives by reaching out to people that are suffering on their own, physically, emotionally. I don’t mean to preach but the truth is that you don’t have to be a big bad oil company, raging terrorist or power crazed president to be guilty. We are all guilty of being either ignorant or complacent.

Moving on here’s six unspectacular things about my self (I just nicked this of someone’s blog so feel free to do the same and just so it’s official I’m tagging Ink, Ladi and anonymous girl).

1 Me and my phone (or for all the grammarians) my phone and I are inseparable…we’re like Batman and Robin, Bonnie and Clyde, Jack and Jill…etc etc…you get my drift. Basically I feel like a ship without a sail without my phone…lol

2. I love beans: dodo and beans, baked beans on toast, ewa goyin and agege bread…lol all types of beans. This is weird cuz a lot of people tend to hate beans and plus people will then assume that I fart a lot…which is not true…well…kinda… I will not be discussing this...lol

3. I’ve been writing songs and stuff since I was like 10. Well obviously at ten I was writing crappy songs but I’d like to think I’m much better now. The funny thing is I’ve never told anyone about them, (well, except you guys).Not that I set out to hide it...it just never came up and so I never brought it up. Hmm, weird.

4. I talk to myself a lot in the mirror… Like talking out loud and having imaginary conversations, performing my own music video in front of the mirror, posing for the camera in front of the mirror and weird stuff like that...lol. I always do this without any witnesses so everyone thinks I’m sane but sometimes I really doubt my sanity. I’ve been trying to fight this mirror madness though… so we’ll see how it goes...lol

5. When I was younger I had my whole future planned out. The house, (yes, I drew it, intact with the rooms and stuff), the number of kids, their names, my husbands name...lol...now its all gone to bits and I’m not exactly sure What I really want to do career wise sef talk more of the rest… Hmm why can’t life be as simple as I imagined it to be then…? (Cuz it would suck!)

6. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I look like Kelly Rowland, Brandy, and once, Naomi Campbell…( it was some random guy in Italy who wanted to charm me before asking me for money but heck! his opinion still counts...lol)

Sha, I’m going to continue my serious and productive studying, so all y’all take care and have a blessed weekend!

Fabulous kisses (…Lol, when did kisses become fabulous)
From moi

29/04/08

2008-04-29T20:56:00.000+01:00

Hey blogsville! Wasaaaap! Mehn, I’m not even a dedicated blogger at all…dunno it just takes real effort to sit down and write a post when so many other things in my life are waiting for my highly demanded and important attention. I’ve been up and about reading different people’s blogs though. I honestly don’t think I can cope without checking out blogsville once in at least 3 days. Ever since I came across Trae day’s blog, on that fateful day in 2005 when I was bored out of my mind in college, I’ve been hooked. It’s like getting a sneak peek into the lives of all these people that you don’t even know and most likely will never know in person. How people divulge their fears, hopes, joys and sometimes every last minute boring detail of their life on their blogs, something that you would not normally be privy to in real life without at least a few months /years of friendship or acquaintance. You get the real person there on their blogs without all the BS (snobbery, fakeness etc) in real life. On blogsville everyone is just who they are; people living, chasing dreams, living with facing fears. It seems like I actually know these people sometimes. You even get to experience second hand certain things in life that you probably would never go through by reading other peoples blogs and learn from other people’s experiences and mistakes. It’s just very exciting that no matter how bored you are at a particular time you can be transported into the exciting, dramatic, interesting, different lives of other people, who unlike characters in books are real and not fiction. I learn a lot of things from some of the blogs out there, they entertain me, they make me think and reflect and some inspire me. However after a brief stay in blogworld, I often come back crashing down to earth when I log off the computer and realise that “Oh I’m in school a sleepy town and now I have to go and do that English essay for tomorrow” Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but sometimes………

Humph! As much as I would like continue my in-depth reflections of blogsville, I guess I better change the topic if I want anyone reading this post till the end. I was going through my inbox today and looking at mails from as far back as 2003. It was really cute the emails I used to write and all the ones my gellers from back in the day...as per there not being mobiles back then, I had quite a stash of them in my inbox. Unlike now where phones are the main means of communication and the only emails I get are from facebook, forwarded mail and just the occasional messages that someone actually sits down to type. I also came across the bit where I had a cyber boyfriend...lol I am very embarrassed about this now but It was this interactive game thingy where you went on cyber dates with this cyber guy. It was really real as in you had the first “coincidental” meeting and then the guys asks you out and then you got to the cinema or lunch and so on, lol. I actually remember the whole thing I really did it out of boredom and in he end the guy broke up with me cuz I missed a load of our ‘dates’ and I didn’t reply his emails. Chei! Imagine being dumped by a computer! I have suffered…lol.
Moving on, I miss all my old school friends. So many of them that I’ve lost contact with… that’s partly my fault cuz after janding, I jaboed a lot of people (don’t blame me calling cards are expensive). It’s sad though cuz even though we had good friendships then it may not mean anything at all if and when we ever meet again. But as my mum always says “you’ll always make new friends”. And I did make new friends all over again when I started boarding house in England. However very shortly, I’ll be leaving them and having to make new ones all over again. Ah! The cycle of life/friendships continue. Talking about friends; I have this friend of mine who I love to death but the girl has skoin-skoin. I’ve thought about slowly distancing myself from her because really she’s not the best influence. But lai lai! This girl did not gree. In fact, she started saying that I’m her bestest friend all the ish that goes with that..??!! As in I’m so confused, she’s a cool girl who I love to hang out with but as I said, she has skoin-skoin. Sometimes I think I can handle her and so maybe it’ll be alright if I still remained friends with her but the wise side of me is saying “eni to ba baja rin a je gbe” (...or something like that, my memory of Yoruba class isn’t that great) Basically, “the person that walks around with a dog will eat shite”). Hmmmmm

Anyways I’ll leave you guys with this: a smile goes a mile to wow somebody, so keep smiling always!!

Have a fab week!!

Better to have loved and lost

2008-03-03T21:10:00.003Z

Guys thanks for your comments on my last post…really encouraging. It’s funny that I get that kind of support/encouragement, no matter how little it seems, from people I’ve never met before, when the people I see all the time fail to provide it. It’s not really their fault though as I have not really given them the opportunity to do so.
Nyways, I’m feeling a little bit more together now. I had this moment where I realised…actually where it hit me that I only have one life and one “now”. Every moment is precious and is gone in a second…gone as in dead gone.

Even though I don’t even know where to start from, I’m going to try. I really wish I could go on gap year but I already had a kinda gap year before I started my A levels. I practically just did nothing apart from doing this useless course which I did not even finish. Now I just look back and think “What a waste!” If only I knew how useful that free time could have been. Nyways no more shouldawouldacouldas, I’m looking to the future and how I can make the best use of now.

I also realised that I am completely guy free at the moment. I still have my guy friends but I’m not harbouring any painful secret crushes neither are any guys annoyingly chasing after me ( You know I’m hot stuff! lol)… Well, there is a guy that has expressed his like for me but he’s not acting up on it which is totally cool with me. Anyways, I actually like it this way…for now at least. Even though sometimes I catch myself craving for a cuddle mate, I really and truly cannot just be bothered. I have so much school work as it is, so there’s no time but I’m looking forward till after school as in Summer hols and beyond to go on the prowl…lol. You’d think I was the kind of babe that can actually go out, find a guy and pull him in! Not even close. See, my problem is that I front a lot! Seriously, I’m a professional fronter and this easily puts off guys cuz they’ll think I’m not interested when I really am. The thing is though, the fronting doesn’t last if you’re a cool chap and not put off by my initial front. The trick is to try and make me laugh. It doesn’t even have to be really funny as I’m known to laugh at even the driest jokes and I really just break the first layer if you can make me laugh. I think the reason for the fronting is trying to protect myself from being hurt and all. I’ve wrapped my self in so many layers and the fronting is just the first layer. The second is showing like but reserved like. The next is me seeming totally free and comfortable with you but then never going deep. The final one and the strongest is around my heart. It’s hard for me to open up and totally trust the other person. I’m scared of being close to people and letting them in properly and sharing my fears, joys, hopes and dreams. It’s complicated but ultimately it’s the fear of being rejected for what I really and all I have to give and thus being irreparably hurt. However, I’m trying to learn from the famous words of Alfred, Lord Tennyson “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”

On a different note, I saw Asa’s cd in HMV. You should have seen the smile on my face. Even though I’m not related to her in any way and have never seen her in my life I felt very proud just seeing that cd lying there with all other big names. Not many truly Nigerian, Yoruba speaking, dreadlock wearing artists make it across the big ocean. Apparently she’s signed to the same label as Kate Nash in the UK. Apart from that, I really love her music. Normally thats not my kind of music but I dunno there’s something so calming and beautiful about it. Her lyrics are poignant and potent and just simply irresistible. My favourite tracks on the Album are Bibanke, Fire on the mountain and So beautiful. On some, the Yoruba gets too much for me to understand but mostly I get it and I love it. Hope it does well!

Also BET is now in England! How exciting is that! Yesterday night I watched the BET awards and all I can say is that Monique girl is CRAZY but funny. In btw watching TV and blogging, I have also been bombarded with school work. I have two course-works to submit in two weeks and I have to start revising for my exams in June while still carrying on with normal school work and assignments. Hmm, God is my strength.

BTW, my panic about getting offers from my Uni’s was so totally unnecessary as I got offers from four of the Uni’s I applied to. Stupid Warwick rejected me, but its aight. I’m going to check out Manchester this week. Hopefully, I fall in love with it and I can put it as my first choice cuz I would really love to live in Manchester.

Nyways, my fabulous people, Stay fabulous, love your selves, love life and take the risk on loving others!

God’s love
Tiwa

What..What..Whatever!

2008-02-28T21:04:00.005Z

I've been meaning to blog for a while but whenever I sat down to it, my mind went blank. My minds been doing that alot lately before I used to think too much now I almost don't think at all until the 30 mins before i doze off. I think it's cuz I'm really busy with school and with other inconsequential things. Yet my unconscious mind is brimming with issues. Whenever i do try to think they all come rushing in struggling for my attention that it all becomes a blur, nothings clear and it just gets more frustrating so i just close up my mind and sleep.

I can't keep doing this. I have to deal with stuffffff. but it's not easy. Sometimes I can't even see things as they are and I am begginning to doubt my own judgement. I sound like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but I know I'm not. I just wish I had someone I can offload to. Not everything ( I know how stifling that can be) just some. However the lack of someone to offload to I fear is my own fault. Put the walls up in all my relationships. I always just used to be a listenr and I was good at it. But now I can't bear to listen when I have all my own wahala to deal with already.
School's stressin but I'm not letting it get to me. I'm starting to feel an urgency..like I need to start doing the things I've always wanted to do. Singing, modeling. I'm trying to get even the smallest oppotunity/contact but it's not forth coming. Not because they don't exist but because I haven't pushed hard enough. I feel the urgency but I just sit back and chill. I read this book about if God wants a certain something to happen/ If it's meant to happen ..God will provide the opportunity everything without me looking. I guess that's what i'm waiting for some opportunity tro just drop in my lap. I know.....so not happening.

Whatever!

Little's there to do
Not much... just a thing or two.
You don't have to worry
Someone else is coming
they'll do it for you.
I hear the clock ticking
I hear the car drive in
Keys turn in the door
Bag drops on the floor
There's all the time in the world.
There's nothing in the fridge
whats baby gonna eat?
I haven't paid the bill
shit! that's why there's no heat.
I was gonna get some treats
Do them up with all the frills
Oh well! Another time
Righ t now, it's bed time.
Maybe tommorow I'll be free
but no! I have to meet Steve
Oh Whatever...I think I need to sleep

Just wrote this to sum up my situation. I didn't do justice but...whatever! LOL!

On to a much happier note...I'm looking for the perfect dress to wear to my leavers ball. I can see it in my mind's eye already. Grecian like, jersey fabric. Colour' s either peach, pale lilac or any pastel colour sha. It's short an obviously fabulous. Now it only remains for me to find it! I will surely having fun trying to find it. But really I can see my hair , make up, jewllery, shoes errything is set in my mind. lol..Good luck to finding it Tiwa! That's all I can say. It really would be great if I can come very close to it! I'm off to search. Abeg if y'all know any good online sites for fab clothes...help a sista out in fufilling her dream. Lol

PS: I heard about the crazy indecent dressing bill they want to pass in Naija. Complete and Utter madness! God help Nigeria. (God help me too)

Stay fab everyone and don't be complicated, unambitious, lazy and procastinate like me.
( I really do need help)! lol

Happy New Year!

2008-02-07T20:16:00.000Z

Happy New Year Every body!! I’ve been on a long hiatus cuz of exams and stuff but now I’m back. Even though it’s been a month since I got back from Lagos, I’m still feeling revived and refreshed from my holiday. From what I see a lot of bloggers went to the motherland as well for Christmas/new year. Sha, now everyone is back to their respectful and rightful places. School is such a drag! Like seriously, exams started two days after my holiday. Who came up with the stupid idea of having exams straight after Christmas hols….where are you supposed to fit in study among all the celebration! Anyways, at least I’m done now. I’ve started counting down till the end of school… 19 weeks to go till the end of exams and the end of school. Ahh! I can then begin looking forward to wild nights in Uni. Wild nights of play and wild nights of study (I’m trying hard at the moment not to think of the latter part). I really can’t wait. I’ve been waiting to go to Uni since grad in Naija. But I got stalled by doing A levels and taking a gap year prior to that. Nyways, now the wait is soon to be over!

Anyways, just wanted to drop a little poem I wrote the other day.

Slowly and quietly at first.
Like little drops of rain,
That cures the dry land’s thirst.
Suddenly it becomes
a burst of staccato drums.
Angry drums of a war song
Waiting for peace to bring it to rest.
Like a child awaits soothing at birth.

Listen to me.
Yes, I yearn to be heard
From a high up stage.
Oh that I can be seen and read
On a glittering page.
Till then, I will roar
At the injustice of being locked away.
Still, I will endure

Release me.
From within your soul, I will grow.
From inside your dreams, I will show.
You and I shall never be at peace
Until I am free.

It still needs a bit more polish but it still one of the only one of mine worthy to be displayed.

I’m liking daddy’s girl’s carnival series…encouraging the true spirit of loving yourself.
Naija fine boy is back! Let’s hope he doesn’t pull a ten month hiatus before returning again.
Naija vixen: Hey what’s up with your blog? Hope you’re good though?

I sent a stalker-ish email to Snazzy. Lol! Err… I really don’t have a reasonable explanation for that.. I guess I was bored. Nyways, sorry if I freaked you out.

(Found out my cousin is a blogger. I’m supposed to be anonymous so can’t really open up. But it’s quite funny cuz they’re always talking about their blog and other blogs and there I am acting all clueless about blog world.)

To all my peeps: God’s love and stay fabulous!

PEEPS AND THINGS THAT I’M LOVING RIGHT NOW

2007-12-03T22:05:00.000Z

These are all the things that give me a warm glow when I think about them. Actually, they give me sleepless nights. I was jejely trying to get some sleep, when I started writing up this post in my mind. Anyways, here goes:

TY Bello: This photographer and singer is a role model and inspiration of mine. She’s God fearing and hip at the same time. Really loving her album Greenland, had to get mumsi to send it to me from naij. Songs I’m really loving on it are Greenland, Funmise and Ekundayo. Tres, tres lovely

Four Kornerz: These guys are like the hottest gospel band around. They performed once in my church and that was it! Love! Their album soulelectric is also really hot. Was supposed to see them in concert bout two weeks ago but couldn’t make it due to the status of my pocket. Sob, sob. It really pained me when they didn’t get the best gospel award at the mobos because I voted for them so many times, it’s all good though. Nyways, if you guys don’t know them already you have to check out their website http://www.fourkornerz.com/.

Nneka Egbuna: Just found out bout this chick and I am yet to lay my hands on her album, heard some stuff on her website though and seen the video of uncomfortable truth. I’m really liking what I’m seeing so far. She’s been dubbed the new lauryn hill. What I like the most about her is her naturalness. She’s seems so unpretentious and she’s got a lovely voice. She sings gospel too which is a plus. Wish her all the best!

Duro Olowu: As you can see all the people so far on my list are Nigerian. Just trying to support peeps from Greenland. Nyways, This guy is a top designer; he showed his collection at the London Fashion week a few months ago. Loved it plus there was loads of green stuff in it and I’m a sucker for anything green. Seriously tho, very talented guy and it’s always good to see a Naija person doing something well and succeeding at it. I wonder if I could get a modelling contract or something from this guy in return for all this publicity….lol! Just trying my luck.

Prison Break: Wentworth Miller is so HOT and he’s even hotter playing Michael Scoffield in this show. I always feel kinda macho when watching this cuz it’s quite intense. It always leaves me jumping on the sofa out of anxiety and they are very good at leaving people in suspense. Good watch!

Heroes: This is also one of my fav, TV shows. Hiro must save the world! Lol. There’s a guy that can read peoples mind, a guy that can travel through time, a guy that can explode, a girl who heals and all sorts in this one show. The last episode of the season is coming up this week. What am I gonna do on Wednesday nights now ehn? Sob. I’ll miss you.

Green: What started out so innocently is now a wild love affair. I am in love with this colour. It’s vibrancy, its freshness and how good it looks on me just gets me every time. Sigh, I’m so in love. Green clothes, green shoes, green eye shadow… but no matter how much I love you, our love cannot extend to green hair and crazy stuff like that. Lol! I don’t think I’m ready for that level of commitment.

Ankle Boots: These sexy things are so in season right now and its paining me cuz now I have to share them with everyone. But honestly high heeled ankle boots are just fabulous!

Agyness Deyn: I don’t but this chick has something bout her that you just gotta love. First time I saw her in a mag, she was wearing this ridiculous dress but she still looked uber fab in it. Watch out Kate Moss.

American Gangster: On a normal day, this isn’t my cup of tea but my man (said slowly in Denzel Washington’s voice) I love this movie. It’s a true story about a mobster drug dealer in the 70’s. I saw an interview with the real Frank Lucas and he’s a changed man now, campaigning to stop gangsterism. I have a friend who aspires to be the next Frank Lucas. God help him!

Kanye: Was also supposed to see Kanye few days ago but my plans got messed up. I’ve always loved Kanye, he’s just so cool. He also beat 50 in the contest for most albums sold. I was very happy bout that cuz I really don’t like 50 plus I think Graduation is really good compared to what quite a few people think. Anyway, I really sympathise with him for the loss of his mom. Stay strong my brother.

Adrian Grenier: This guy is officially the cutest guy alive. Move over Lemar, it’s time for a new flame (I’ve had a crazy crush on Lemar for years). He’s the boyfriend in The Devil wears Prada, he’s on entourage and he also has his own band. Love, love love!
Christmas: Don’t you just love Christmas! The lights and decorations everywhere you go, singing Christmas songs in the snow….okay, I haven’t seen snow for the past 2 years but still, Christmas is just the best time of the year. I have my birthday 10 days before Christmas, you get holidays from school, get to home and spend time with family peeps you don’t normally get to see, parties, free money and presents. The only thing that would make it even more perfect would be sunny weather, which is why I have to go to nig. Please help me pray cuz I really want to go home for Christmas. All I want for Christmas is La-a-a-lagos!

My peoples, that’s all I got for you. Hope everyone is in the Christmas spirit as well. Nyways, I need ideas for something. Things to do before you turn 18. Feel free to drop comments on this and don’t feel limited…lol, I’m feeling very adventurous.
God keep and bless everyone visiting here. Stay Fab!

PANIC!

2007-12-02T15:15:00.000Z

OMG! I have just gotten rejected by one of the uni's applied to! I'm begginning to panic now. What if I don't get any offers! I am really worried at this point, almost paranoid. God help me.

Why?

2007-10-21T17:58:00.000+01:00

Why, just why do I find myself thinking about you a lot more than I should?
I'm trying, trying really hard to stop myself from liking you as more than a friend.
I hate, hate the way I find myself wanting to hear your voice more than once in a while.
Why, why do I have the feeling that if I ever allow myself to like you, I'll end up regretting it.
I really can't handle this. I just wish I could get you out of my head

Finally found my way back

2007-10-19T22:09:00.000+01:00

Hey guys! I'm back ! it's been a long while I know. Ive been meaning to put up a post for ages and I had a very long one prepared but I kinda deleted it by mistake.
Really missed blogging but Ive been so friggin busy.

Nyways, loads of stuff's happened since my last post but I cant fit it in here. Right now I'm in my final year of A levels, hoping to get to uni nxt year. I hope I get into the uni I wanna go. Doing this, ultimately means working very very hard. God help me.

I think right now I'm in the middle of some kind of evolution. With me hitting the big 18 very soon, it seems like I am actually growing into a more mature person. For the first time I have started to see thing in a different light. I am beginning to actually know myself.

From the little knowledge I am beginning to grasp of myself, I'm hoping to apply it in certain areas of my life. To actually start the process of building dreams that have been accumulating.

God help me.

He's watching you, he's lookin at your ass!

2007-05-05T18:20:00.001+01:00

Hey guys! Hope you all had a lovely week? My week was alright, rainy, but still alright. I've been studying alot cuz my exams are coming up and panic is grabbing me, which is a good thing because it is that panic that is making me study hard. Nyways, can you imagine, you know the dude I was talking about in my last post, I found out that the guy was always staring at my ass. He used to do it so often that his girlfriend had an arguement with him over it. Hmmm, on top my flat ass! I was shocked cuz I never even had the slightest idea that he used to stare at ass, course, our eyes jammed a few times, but I didn't know it was not my eyes but my ass that was attracting all that attention. I can't blame him sha, even though I think my ass is a bit flat, it's still better than his girlfriend's Oyinbo one. His loss though cuz that piece of news made me loose any trace of the crush I had on him. Now, I'm even wondering what I saw in him in the first place, he's always doing big boy too much and he's not even that fine sef!

I'm really missing all my peeps in naija, like seriously! My sis, is so funny. Everytime she wants me to call her, she just sends me an email saying"Tiwa it's very very urgent, abeg call me" the last one I recieved was " Tiwa, it's a matter of life and death! call me plus I have plenty jist for you" lol..abeg tell me how does jist combine with matters of life and death. When I call now, she'll be like "no...I just wanted to hear your voice" You gotta love that babe. when I was in Naija we used to fight like hell, but as they say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

Gotta run now, take care y'all and have a lovely, lovely weekend!Adios!

It's been a long time!

2007-05-05T18:20:00.000+01:00

Hey guys, longest time. been really busy and I have exams coming up so I'm really jacking and all. Wish me luck! Plus, I've been dealing with the heartache of unrequited love..... sob.... Okay.., maybe it's not full blown love.....alot more like 'like' but it's still unrequited sha, that's the koko. The whole jist is that there's the guy I really like but the problem is he has a girlfriend. Can you imagine? I like a guys who already has a girlfriend, how sad is that, hmm. Thing is, I don't think he really likes the chick according to rumours he is just using her for a bit of bootie. Shey,after hearing such rumours, I shouldn't have just removed my eyes from there. Afterall, I can't like a guy who treats his girl like that, if he does that to her he'll obviously do the same to me if we ever get together but no, my people my eyes no gree leave am! and for weeks I was dwelling in the fantasy that he actually really liked me and was just using her to make me jealous because our eyes were always jammimg, like seriously, I used to catch this dude staring at me all the time and he was always really nice to me. But, thankfully I have now come back to my senses and realised that "a little eye jammin and niceness don't mean the dude like you so Tiwa, move on up!"Plus, me and the guy used to yarn only when there was no one else around, dodgy right?Anyway, I think i can say that I'm almost totally over him. I'm sure he's no good anyway.

To a much brighter and exciting note, I am loving summer right now! The sunshine just lifts my spirit and makes me smile. I have been lying in the sun all week, the problem is I have forgotten that i am not oyinbo and I have gotten a bit darker which I am not lovin at all! Do you guys know, if sunscreen can help reduce the darkening effect of the sun on my skin? (Don't mind my oyinbo!)

I was also in a really cheesy school prospecteus photoshoot. You know those kinds where you pretend to be studying with some one looking all serious, or having fun in class, or walking down the hill with a buch of friends and you guys look like you're having the time of your life...that kind of photoshoot. At the end of thing, my cheeks were aching from smiling and laughing too much. Every time we posed for a picture, the yeye photographer kept saying "even happier, bigger smiles". I don't think I ever smiled so much in my life. We were just smiling at everthing! Those pictures are going to look so fake! They kept taking us to all the fine places in the school that we students starngely have never seen before....like the school head's back garden. So, that the poor prospective students will think we're living in paradise. yeye people! But it was fun sha! and i got to skip all my really boring classes.

On to something else, I was on naija vixen's blog recently and I saw the video of one guy called KAS. I was very suprised cuz I remember like two years ago I met this dude. we were some place, that i can't remember and he heard me and a friend talkin about naija songs and he came over to us. He said he was a musician and at that point in time we had never seen, heard or even smelt a whiff of any one called KAS, so we were quite skeptical. Nyways, dude gave us his cd with his number on it. When I got home, i threw the cd somewhere and that was the last I heard of it until a few days ago, after i had seen his video on naija vixen's blog. This thing pained me because if I had called the guy around that time he gave me the cd we may have become pallies and now, I could have been boasting everywhere that I knew him. Me, that i have been looking for some famous person to claim eversince. Can u imagine? If i call him now he'll be like "what, tiwa from where?" I messed up big time mehn! I could, be getting free tickets to gigs and all that now. Oh well! I hope he makes it big time sha. Nyways,that's all for now folks, hope you all have a fab week! ciao!

Quickie

2007-04-16T18:21:00.000+01:00

Hey guys! longest time, i've been really busy and ill for a while so thats why i haven't been around. Nyways, ow y'all doing? Ope u all had a lovely easter. I just wanted to pop in to say hi to all u guys that are missing me so much(i Know u are ;) ) lol. take care luvs

Hollywood's next top actress

2007-03-04T17:46:00.001Z

Seriously, one minute time is going so darn slow and the next you're looking to find out where it went so quickly. Not much happened last week, usual school stuff (which means boring stuff like lessons and d like), although there is one highlight to my week. I acted in my very first proper drama! yay me! watchout cuz i'm too hot for nollywood, I'm heading straight to hollywood!.........lol! who dash monkey bannana? At first, I was very nervous about it cuz I didn't exactly plan to be in the play.....it just kinda happened that I auditoned and I got the part. Although there were a few mishaps on stage like er........forgetting my lines, I didn't do too badly! I didn't know that there was a hollywood star in me all along. So, I've started searching for the perfect designer dress to wear to the movie awards to collect my award for Best new actress. Are there any blogville stylists that can get me the perfect dress, just know that I don't do cheap. I want something stunning and sexy. I will also need a hairstylist and a makeup artist.......you know I have to look perfect on my night. However, all this would be on credit, because as you know this is only my first movie...........but if you help me look stunning enough to get another part.........I'll make it worth your while. When I become a big actress, you'll start reaping the benfits and you won't regret it ; ) And of course, I won't forget to thank you when i'm collecting my award. LOL

Thanks, for you ideas on what to get mumsie for her birhtday gift, I was planning to buy something big, but I guess it's really just the thought that matters but i still try and get her something nice.

who' da boss?

2007-02-23T13:58:00.000Z

Lately, a lot has been going through my mind. So much that I have started daring to question some things . Thing is, I know in my heart of hearts that God reigns and rules over us and protects his children but so much happens in the world that just makes you wonder ....."Is there really a God or are we just decieving ourselves?" Still, no matter what my head thinks and and what happens in the world that remains...unexplainable, there is proof that God was, is and will be. So how doe we reconcile these two things, the proof of God and places where there is no evidence of God.

Sure, there have been some attempts, "God only works where he is called" or "it is the people letting the devil do bad things to them?" But how can a God so loving, sit back and watch horrible things happen to the people he so wonderfully made. People killing each other over nothing, people suffering so much to get money to survive and some next man just ripping it off them.. how do you explain a child who has never wronged anybody being brought ito a world of suffering, famine or war. There has to be a plausible explanation, yes, I know the heart of man is wicked but why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa? why won't people think, "why should I believe in God?.. so far, I've had nothing to do with him and I have been perfectly alright and all those who claim God are suffering." They shouldn't be able to think so. Sometimes, I think maybe it's just ignorance to believe everything revolves around God and that maybe we christains are just to scared to accept a world without God cuz then it would mean we have no hope, it would we won't have that last person to help us when everything else fails, it would mean we can't tell ourselves that our situation would change , it would mean there would be no one to help us in our trying times , it would mean we have no protection or defence from all the dangers of the world ..... it would simply mean no hope and that we can't live with.

Still, I know that God truly exists, reigns and rules and he is exactly who he says he is in the Bible. I know this because I believe, I believe because I have no other option than to believe, because God is the only hope I have and there is no other way to describe my being alive and having everything I have other than it is the work of God. Even though, I cannot understand or explain the way he does his work, why he does it that way and not the way I think is best, I know that he is in control and he knows what he is doing.

I know that was some heavy stuff, but I just had to get it out of my mind. Besides thinking, I've home having a good midterm..Oh! the joy! just being able to wake up anytime I like, lounge on the sofa and watch T.V all day plus I get to eat proper food. ...Fajii ni mo wa! sadly, all this has to end soon and I'll have to go back o school and face my reality. Nyways, i'm thinking of what to get my mum for her birthday.....any ideas?

I still know what you did last weekend!

2007-02-12T21:46:00.000Z

I've been meaning to blog for a long time but you know I'm a very important person, it's hard to get me in one place for long.lol!

Nyway, last weekend was very......... eventful.lol! Went to watch Dream girls on friday and it was wonderful. I loved it and I can't wait for the DVD to come out so I can buy it. The funniest and nicest part was when the Effi(jennifer hudson) was singing the song about not going anywhere and her boyfriend was going to love her by force, she went mad in that bit...but seriously, the girl can siiing! You guys that haven't watched it probably don't know what I'm talking about but the happening people who have watched it will understand.lol!

As I was saying, so saturday we had socials in school and I actually enjoyed it plus I looked super cute! Loads of funny stuff happened, one of my friends, who was very drunk got punched by a very mean looking, chavvy chick. What happened was, my drunk friend in her drunken haze accidentally stepped on the chick's toes and next thing you know....she was all over my friend. But that didn't it spoil it for me cuz my friend wasn't hurt that bad..shes a tough girl. Nyways, after the socials, we then went to another friends house.This is where stupidity and drunkeness combined and we started playing spin-the-bottle........you know what happens when you start playing spin-d-bottle....every one got off with each other..minus me oh! I only got off with one guy (as if that makes me any better!) but still I was the most innocent person there. The next morning I couldn't believe what I had done....I mean Tiwa doesn't just kiss any random guy that comes her way especially for a dare!....plus I wasn't even that drunk. I mean what was I thinking?.....I really felt terrible the next day but luckily I might never see the guy again cuz i'll be so embarrasedto see him againand it's even better cuz he wasn't even a good kisser!(what a way to have my first kiss! yes, my first kiss! arggh ..mingin!)

Honestly.... I don't know what I'm becoming. If my mother should hear this she will just disown me! Even some of my friends I'm scared that if i tell them..they'll criticize me. I know they might not.....but I just feel that way. I mean, I've always been known as a "good girl" and you know how naija peeps are. Nyways, now I've kinda gotten over it. It's not the end of the world plus it was just a kiss right? the thing is... it's not the act of kissing I'm worried about but the fact that I kissed a random guy that I don't even know that well in SPIN-D- BOTTLE! You might be thinking what's the big deal? but for me "Tiwa" it is a very big deal. But as I said earlier, I've gotten over it. I know when I'm like 25 or something and I look back at it, I'll be like "Gosh! what a naive girl I was!" So, I'm looking ahead till then!

Gotta run, catch you guys later! Much lurve!

Friends

2007-02-07T10:52:00.000Z

Here’s to friends who are there in the good times and in the bad
Sometimes you wish you never knew them
And sometimes you can't do without them.
Friends know you so well; they can tell when you’re happy, sad, pretending you’re not angry with them, when you really like that guy you tell them you hate.
Friends you’re just happy to be around,
Who bring the best out of you and encourage you to be strong.
Friends who you can be yourself with,
Friends you don’t have to pretend to be something else with.
Friends who can trust you with their biggest secrets…with their lives.
Friends who stay in your memory through out your life,
Friends that you’re thankful to God for.
Friends, who though are not perfect you are ready to overlook their faults.
Friends come in all shapes and sizes and in the most unusual places.
Here's to friends that have touched our lives

Psychic tag

2007-02-05T20:46:00.000Z

Question 1:
Imagine you are in a desert (are you there?);
now imagine a ladder (are you seeing it?);
Now what is the position of the ladder? i.e. Lying down, Resting on something, Standing alone...
It’s standing, dunno if it’s resting on something but I can only see the ladder

Question2:
Image a horse in that same desert (are you there?);
what is the colour of the horse?
What is the horse doing?

It’s a chocolate brown horse
It’s just standing there turning it’s head from side to side swinging it’s tail and looking at me

Question 3:
Come back to reality...
Give three reasons why you like water:

Quenches your thirst plus its good for you skin, digestion stuff like that
You can use it to make food
You can use it for cleaning stuff

Question 4:
What is your favourite colour?
Give the three reasons why you like that colour:

At the moment it’s green
It’s very bright so it just catches your eye
It ‘s kind of calming and sensual
It’s zingy

Question 5:
What is your favourite animal (Even if you don't like, what would it be if you do?)
Give three reasons why you like/would like that animal.

Cute little dogs
As mentioned above, they’re cute
They’re portable
They’re suitable companions

Question 6:
Imagine you wake up in a white room with no door, and no window.
What will be your first reaction?
What will be your reaction afterwards?

I’d first of all think someone was playing a trick on me and I’ll try to find my way out
I’d start PRAYING TO BABA GOD!

Question 7:
Without thinking, name two opposite sex names that are not your family member:
Tega
marc
(I had to think cuz I was just coming up with random names of people I didn’t know)

Question 8:
Without thinking, name someone from your family member:
Tee

Question 9:
Name anyone, same sex or otherwise, that is not a family member:
Jay

Question 10:
List four of your favourite music title:

Long way to go
I’m loving angels instead (is that the name of that song by Robbie Williams….I always thought so but it might not be)
Kiss from a rose
Dangerously in love

Question 11:
List four of your favourite location/city:
Lagos
London
Villa
Erm…aunts house

Last One:
Arrange these animals according to your preference:
Tiger, Sheep, Cow, Monkey, Eagle

Eagle, Tiger, Monkey, Sheep, cow

Vals day: what does it mean toyou

2007-01-26T22:39:00.000Z

Hey guys! watsup? Hope you all had a fun week. My week was cool.Today my friends and I had a water bomb fight...I know quite stupid considering the fact that it's winter but we weren't thinking and it was really fun.You should have seen me running up and down dripping wet!

Anyway, not much planned for the weekend, might go out tomorrow to the movies, bowling or somewhere and I might just pop into the shops. Last weekend I bought the cutest shoes ever, which I would not normally buy as they were heely shoes but I'm taking overwhelmed's fabulous tip. Everyday since I bought it, I try them on and look at my self in the mirror and they just make me so happy! Gosh! I didn't know you could get this much excitement from shoes!

As you might have noticed, I don't have anything in particular to talk about,I've ran out of things to say and now I'm scrambling my brain for something tangible to write about. Yeah, I'm trying to get somebody to send me val's gifts. Yeah,I know sound desperate but hey! whats a girl to do when the only excuse apart from birthdays to give gifts is coming and she's got no potential gift-giver? I've been working on it but you know I gats to do it jejely I don't want to the guy to pick race. If worst comes to worst, I'll just buy my self a gift and post it to my self. LOl... hopefully it doesn't come to that! All of you that are single and there's some random guy breathing down your next asking you out, let me give you some advice: Answer him. Even if it's just for the sake of valentines day, after that give it one month max, give him some excuse and tell him to carry im load comot. Sounds harsh?...... sit down there, when your friends will be gushing about their very romantic gifts on that day and you'll be sitting there with not even one rose to call your own, you'll tell me if it still sounds harsh.( Guys, sorry but thats the way it is, look on the bright side though, it'll be your chance to hook her for good if you impress her very well.)My sec.school was a girls school so we used to match junior girls(not just any other j.girl, the type you knew was willing to buy better gifts) and senior gals up for vals. On vals day, the junior girl would have to bring a gift for the senior girl and the senior girl would just give the j.girl assorted biscuit (any biscuit apart from cabin biscuit), drink, chat for a bit and thats it. The J.gal has gone away happy and the senior girl now has her gifts, you guys could become friends or you could just say hello to each other, or you could just ignore each other, whichever one suited you best. Things were so much easier back then Sigh! Seriously. For me vals day is all about the excitement of recieving gifts, it might probably mean something more if I was in love but for now that's what its all about! If you have any other opinions on vals day, feel free to drop your comments.

Hope you guys have a fab weekend, Until next time; STAY FABULOUS!

Perfectly boring!

2007-01-19T21:05:00.000Z

I hate being in the midst of people that don’t speak English and especially don’t speak it even when I’m sitting at the same lunch table as them. I’ve told them countless times that it is rude to speak their language when someone who doesn’t understand it is there but they always slip back into it. I guess I can’t blame them cuz even me I lapse into naija English with my other naija peeps, which apparently they don’t understand. These peeps are cool when they speak English but when they are not….Gosh! They could be planning how to cut out my lungs during my sleep, for all I know, or worse they could be gossiping about my lunch saying I eat like a pig! For your information I do not eat like a pig! Talks about anorexia, these guys have it all. I mean how can a normal person survive by eating food like this:

Breakfast: 1 slice of bread, with a thin spread of butter, I apple and 1 cup of orange juice.

Lunch: A bowl of salad and 1 cup of yoghurt

Tea: The only time they have a plateful of food (even though, the only thing I can see are huge pieces of green leaves!)

So, can you blame me for imagining that they were actually fantasying about my food! I will not be intimidated just because I eat like a human being cuz I know I so do not eat like a pig! At least, I’m not so skinny that you can’t tell the difference between me and the skeleton in the biology lab! I’m a healthy size 10 and even at that my relatives are still complaining, they’re always like ”Tiwa! Look at your long neck, you better eat good food, ounje oyinbo yen, tio o on je ni on fa a”(this was a major failed attempt at writting yoruba..I know...lol..) But I’m not bothered cuz I like me the way I am.( Although , I kind of wish I had bigger boobs, but at least I’m grateful I have something, I know 20 yr old peeps who have nothing but groundnuts on their chests plus I still got time). I look in the mirror and admire my lovely tiny eyes, that make me look as if I’m squinting all the time, my slightly (very slightly) protruding front teeth, my long neck, my small boobs and my ugly feet and despite these imperfections, I still think I’m beautiful (I know I am cuz I get people telling me everyday, every where I go, they just can’t help but stare at me….lol) and these imperfections are what make me who I am ,Tiwalade.

Imagine being perfect, it’ll be so boring! You’ll have the same clothes as the other perfect “IT” girls, the same perfect shoes, the same perfect hair style, the same perfect faces (thanks to plastic surgery!), the same perfect size (that’s a size 6 by the way). To everyone out there who thinks they’re anything less than FABULOUS because of their imperfections, you got all WRONG! That’s what makes you the beautiful person you are!

I know I have seriously diverted from my original topic but hey “out of the mouth (or rather out of the keyboard)speaks the heart” Stay fabulous!!!

Look at me I'm fabulous!

2007-01-16T21:23:00.000Z

Hey guys! Yesterday I wrote a very juicy and detailed post on my underage stalker but due to some complicated technicalities, it disappeared. Due to my inability to be arsed to write another long post, all I have for you are my ramblings.

Finished my exams today YAY! Next plan of action is me and my girls plotting our night out on the town and how we're gonna get into a club. Does anyone know anyone who can supply fake IDs? Unfortunately and fortunately, I know this isn't going to work out. It's unfortunate because it would have been a fun way to unwind after exam stress and it's fortunate because really and truly I don't want to go clubbing, I’d rather do something more exciting like...stay up all night and watch movies and gossip (I know I'm so not fun) but really I prefer this sort of night to going out to a club that is so much more stressful.

By the way, I've finally decided what I want to do this year. Quite frankly, I'm a rather confused girl. I’m caught up in the middle of so many things and I don't really know what I want, I don't know exactly what I want to become. So I'm setting out on a journey of self discovery and I want to be fabulous every step of the way. Even if the process takes longer on the inside I want it to begin to show on the outside. So If you guys have any tips on being fabulous, bring it on!

I just thought I'd mention that I'm loving Kirk Franklin’s album "Hero". I rarely hear any good Christian music that when I do I love them so much. There's also this Bible audio CD that I heard about. It has loads of actors and actresses taking on the voice of characters in the Bible and bringing them to life. The cast list includes people from Denzel Washington to Angela Basset to Yolanda Adams to Tyrese Gibson. I hear it's really good so I might be getting that, you guys can check it out.

On to something totally different. You know that guy I mentioned that I liked but didn't like anymore after a while....well now he has a girlfriend and jealousy is eating me up. I've told myself over and over again "Tiwa, you do not like him anymore and you will not be jealous" but it doesn't seem to be working cuz every time I see them together, I just get this pang of jealousy and even though I pretend not to notice them, I can see every move they make. Honestly, I don't know what my problem is. I thought I had moved on... but it seems that no matter how much I hate to admit it even to myself, I still have a major crush on dude. Hopefully it's just a phase I'm going through.

Catch y'all later!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2007-01-01T00:48:00.000Z

Hey guys, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!lagos has been kool,....well not really, its been more like hooot!On new years eve I went for a fireworks display and you shouold have seen me jumping up and down like a chicken!Knockouts were flying everywhere..and I thought I was going to go deaf but afta like 10 mins I started to enjoy myself and I joined in in throwing the knockouts and watching the beautiful display of fireworks. After that went to church just in time to meet the years ending so that I could pray my way into the new year.As far back as I can remember, I've always said my first Happy new year in church. I think it will be a bad omen for the year if I'm not in church, I don't know why I just do.nyways hope all ofyou have made your new year resolutions, something I don't bother doing because I don't stick to it.I dont have much to sayso ciao!!

Tipsy

2006-12-12T21:07:00.000Z

It's been a while..the internet hasn't been working in school and all that. lots been happening and I'm still trying to catch up!my birthday was on thursday turned 17 YAY! came back to london yeasterday and today I'm going to Lagos!
It was quite hectic in school trying to finish up all my work a week earlier than others but it was all worth it cuz by Gods grace tommorrow I'll be basking in the Nigerian sun.

For the first time in my life I got a little tipsy (note: not drunk just tipsy)thanks to my lovely friends that took me out to dinner on my birhtday. They kept offering me more and more wine and me too I kept drinking it.After us lot drinking too much wine we started singing on the streets before we headed the play ground.T'was quite fun and very giggly.

I'm happy I've left school for a bit cuz my horizons have been quite limited and short sighted.That's the reason I started fancying one guy, that outside school I would not even think twice about.....Okay I might look twice cuz this guy is FIT! but I won't think too much bout him. He was the one I said was giving me mixed signals in my previous post.But now I honestly think I'm over him cuz I just can't work him out. One minute, he's all over me and I'm thinking the guy is feeling me. The next time, he's just acting all cool and distant.So I've decided he probably just likes me as I friend and I think I was just confused, I don't really like him its just...ot uf a limited number he's the most faciable guy to me.However, I'm sure if I see more eye candy I'll totally forget all about him cuz I so do not want to be thinking about one guy dat does not even ja me face!

45 Random stuff about me!!!

2006-11-28T13:29:00.000Z

I've finally gotten round to doing one of these memes. Everytime I try to do one it always looks like so much work but anyhoo here goes

Whats your name spelt backwards?:) awit! see,even with my name spelt backwards I'm still a wit…lol
What did you do last night?: Had a spanish lesson and watched team America.
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:I don’t remember
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: What!! who does that? not me!
Last time you swam in a pool?: I dont even remember...i think like 5 years ago
What are you wearing?: white top, green cardigan,jeans,white trainers…(yup repping naija green ,white ,green)
How many cars have you owned?: Well, let me see ..first I had the rolls, then the jaguar and I just got the rover..so that’s 3 not bad eh?…..(na beans!)
Type of music you dislike most?: hardcore metal..argh its just a load of noise
Are you registered to vote?: nope..under 18s not allowed.that law should be ammended. 16 yr olds are allowed to go into the army and be killed but they can't vote for their leaders.
Do you have cable?: I don’t think I can survive without it
What kind of computer do you use?: It is written on the computer i'm using right now ;LG
Ever made a prank phone call?:yup! those things are fun ..there was even a time we called this number and a guy picked it up. told him I was a unilag chick and we'd met before, the guy was too happy he thought he had struck gold..he was like his wife was with him at that time so he couldn't talk but that he'll be coming to my school this evening to pick me up , that I should give him my name and the name of my hall. Can you imagine the shameless man, he was old enough to be my father Oh! Useless man but that was a good laugh
You like anyone right now?: yess! and its so frustrating cuz the guy is just giving me mixed signals!
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: God forbid! bungee what!
Furthest place you ever traveled?: Nigeria to london
What's your favorite comic strip?: don’t read ‘em
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: Yup, after singing that naija national anthem everyday on assembly ground in school..
Shower, morning or night?: mornings and sometimes both
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: Casino royale..that movie was too bunz.. the guy isn’t that fine but he was really cool
Favorite pizza toppings?: chicken and sweetcorn with peperronni...yummy
Chips or popcorn?: chips!
What cell phone provider do you have?: Tmobile
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:peanut shell!!! no oh!
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:yup in school and i'm proud to say I won
Orange Juice or apple?: orange
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: couple of friends!
Favorite chocolate bar?: Dat one is hard oh!but its between kit kat,snickers,toblerone and bounty

Who is your longest friend and how long?: my longest friend is a sweet heart and its been 6 yrs

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: Don't think so
Have you ever won a trophy?: got one in pry school for coming first in a race
Favorite arcade game?: dont know what games they have in the arcade.. do they have tetris in the arcade?
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: Nope!
Sprite or 7-UP?: aren't they the same?
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?: yup to school.
Last thing you bought at Walgreens?: I dont think they have that shop where I'm located

Ever thrown up in public?: thankfully not!

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:)finding true love..you cant beat that!

Do you believe in love at first sight?: i believe in instant attraction at first sight not love

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: they're both very stupid

Did you have long hair as a young kid?: Nope. used to cut my hair and i remember the first time I cut my hair in pry school, my teacher kept going on about how I was now the smartest kid in her class cuz I had my hair cut...?don't ask ME why!

What message is on your voicemail machine:"hello..hello..heeelloo..whos this?.. Why're you calling? .. im' not here right now.. so drop a message .I'll holla back, bye!"

Where would you like to go right now?: To lagos!

What’s the name of your pet?: Don’t have any pets

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?: don’t carry a backpack, but I’ve got hand cream, usb cable,pack of tissue, pencil case, one huge text book and a couple of notes, vaseline, a mirror , purse and loads of receipts

What do you think about most?: How the hell I'm gonna do all my school work in so little time!
{I tag anybody who reads this!)

Home sweet home.. no more cold

2006-11-20T21:10:00.000Z

Mehn! I'm literally counting the days till I go back to naija.I've only been away for a year yet it feels like millions of years.Christams is gonna be so fun! All my family people are going to be there and we're going to seriously rock lagos!!I just hope everything goes according to plan because this one I've started making mouth...I've not even bought my ticket yet but mumsy says I should not worry...i'm not worrying but hmm.... me I must sha go to lagos this christmas!

Last year's christmas was so shite! Everyone's like "Oh!christmas is coming" and the houses are all lit up and everything seems to be getting ready for a climax on christmas day... On the so called christmas day everything is so boring,you just sit in your house and eat your christmas turkey. You can't even go out for the fear that you will die of cold! Talking about the cold, yesterday was horrible. I went on a school shopping trip to manchester.Typical me, I walked round the mall till my feet were sore and I had seen all the seeables and bought all the buyables.Anyway,I was looking forward to getting back, having dinner and completing my course work. All for the bus to break down on the way back to school and we had to stand outside in the cold. We couldn't stay in the bus because of one safety issue like that..we could get hit by a car while we were in the bus or the car could explode,oyinbos and their safety issues, if it was in naija even if the car is bringing out smoke they will still be in the car and be like "explode ko..explode ni.. wo! just buy pure water and pour it inside and lets be going"..oh bless them! Anyway, the getting out of the car didn't make it any better because we could have also died in the cold they told us to stand in. When we thought it couldn't get any worse, it now started raining..mehn! it was so not funny! we stood there waiting for AA to come for almost an hour! At one point I had to start laughing cuz if not I would have cried plus we were squeezed together in one big circle trying to stay warm and we all looked like penguins! Not long now tiwa..you'll soon be in the warm climate of nigeria and then you'll be complaining of the heat.

Nyways, all you people spending your christmas in jand pele Oh! while you're eating your christmas turkey , I'll be eating some efo riro..lol! don't let me rub it in too much! bye!

What's it gonna be?

2006-11-19T21:58:00.000Z

I've always had perfect eyesight, my grandmother is 64 and she doesn't use glasses. So how come at this young age I cant see properly again. I’m so pissed of at this and although in sec. school I always wanted to wear glasses, now the thought of it is horrible. I guess I can use contact lenses but the thought of poking myself in the eye everyday that's even worse! Sigh.

In school, we're doing a work experience thing were we have to find work placements for a week in a place in line with what we want to become. That is a major problem for me because I don’t know what that is. I guess I have an idea...more like i have lots of ideas of what I want to be. I’ve wanted to be so many things in my life. When I was younger I wanted to be a singer and I used to sing everywhere I went. After that, I wanted to become a lawyer, cuz everyone was always saying I’d make a good lawyer as I used to argue a lot with everyone about random stuff. Then in Jss1, I wanted to be a cardiologist.... I don’t even know why, I guess cuz the name sounded fancy. Then, I wanted to be an accountant or just a businesswoman who wore proper corporate clothes and worked in a big company. The idea of becoming an accountant went squash when I found out that accounting is the most boring thing I could ever do, I barely passed it my WAEC. Now, I think I want to be a corporate lawyer but I'm not very sure about that now cuz it doesn't sound very interesting and I still want to be a model/singer (although these are dream as a result of watching to much Britain’s next top model and X-factor!). I really need to sort this out.

All my aunties are always asking " so tiwa what are you going to study in uni?" "What do you want to be in future?" most of the time I always just say something random like " Oh! I want to be a pilot" or "I'm going to study engineering" blah blah but that’s only to save face cuz I don't want the "You have to know what you want to be" lecture as if I don’t know that already. Sometimes I think I don't really have to worry I can just study anything and in future hopefully I marry a rich guy and I don’t have work hard for money, I'll just have a shop to keep me busy. But I know that’s not a good plan what if the rich husband doesn't surface? I'll have to struggle for the rest of my life. I want to get a degree and get a really good job so I don’t have to struggle like that.

Anyway, I've yarned too much I have to go and do some homework.... arghh! Tell me, why am I in school again…yeah I know so I can get a good degree and a good job and have loads of money! If only it was that simple!

Truth versus lies

2006-11-11T22:34:00.000Z

Hey guys! long time.I've been really busy with school work and stuff.This A level is work oh! but I'm ready to stick it out.

Last week I caught the "I want a boyfriend" bug that was floating around in school. At first I was like Why are all these stupid girls moaning about wanting a boy friend, then it hit. The love sick couples holding hands and kissing everywhere get to you. At first it was very irritating( it still is) but after a while you start thinking " oh! I wish I could have that". Anyways, so I joined the I want a boyfriend team. All the other girls had a guy they fancied, but I didnt( well I have one but its very complicated so I might as well just forget it)so I wanted a boyfriend and I couldn't have one, not while I was in this school! So I just had to get over it. One of my very serious friends who I didn't khnow was in our "I want aboyfriend team" had a guy she liked. He's actually the guy half of the school girls like, he is fine but apart from that I don't know what they see in him. The guy is a well known player. My dear friend knew his reputation, it was even a topic of discussion in their family cuz both her parents knew him and thought the same of him, but she was falling hard and fast. They had been emailing each other for a while and the guy was kinda hinting that he liked her.She confronted him bout his player ways and the guy gave one very touching story that he wasn't what she thought he was and said that she was his dream girl in pry school(cuz they went to the same primary school)and all that very soppy stuff

This kind of situation is very difficult, you know the facts in your mind already, that the guy is a player but one part of you wants to believe him, wants to believe that even if he was, he'll be different to you. You know, just like in the movies, the bad guy meets this girl and completely changes because of her.Even if you know that he's probaly lying , the idea of that romance, makes you believe it.This was the dilenma, me being the romantic that I am was, kept urging my friend to belive him and give it a chance.

The problem was that this guys ex, Who is my friend's friend(lets call my friend Bibi)told bibi that she still likes the guy. Ex had a party last week and guy was there.There was a rumour that the two hit it off, bibi asked guy about it and he denied it.Guy, probably didn't know that Ex and Bibi used to talk, so one day bibi and ex were talking and katakata burst.Ex said that guy and her kissed and all and bibi told her her own story.As thay were talking now,guy was coming and immediately he saw the two of them together he ran away.

I know this isn't a very serious situation,its not like he was going out with any of them but the thing is how do you know when guys are lying. It's like their lies always seem more like the truth and their truths more like lies.The line betwen lies and truths becomes so blurred that you don't see it anymore. Seriously, its a matter of God help us! Only God can help us.I think I've gotten rid of the "I want a boyfriend bug" but its still lingering somewhere there.All the fantasies still lurking behind the common sense.Waiting for the next guy that will make them reappear. As for now they're tucked safely away.

The emancipation of my mind

2006-10-23T20:19:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone! the thought of coming back home for half-term was all that was on my mind about a week ago, right now I'm thinking " I'm so freakin tired of this house I wanna go back to school!" Yesterday, I was looking forward to meeting my friends in church and getting into some holy spirit groove. Needless to say, I was quite dissapointed, I just didn't get the same high I normally get from going to church. I guess it's more to do with me than with the church.

Right now, I'm trying to get(my mum's trying to get) a ticket to lagos for this christmas and its so freakin expensive!I hope I still get to go.

On to someting entirely different, I am a very complicated person. Oh so complicated, sometimes I myself don't believe the stuff that goes on in my head but the thing is this complication does not go outside my mind it just stays in there. I have built this wall around myself, no one can get into my mind because if you know what I know, if you know all what I've been through, if you know what I think , you might think I'm wierd or you might pity me or you might just never talk to me. I'm just so scared to let anyone in and I've done this for so long that now I fear that no one knows me at all. When I come to think of it no one really knows me at all even the close friends that I have, most of the time I'm quiet. So everyone thinks I'm just quiet but they don't know that I have so many words I wanna say but they just won't come out and I just end up just doing surface talking about things that don't really matter or concentrating on every other person. I'm just living, breathing, walking, talking because i have to. All my passions, wants, fears are hidden so deep inside me that most of the time they don't exist. And now, I'm tired of being this person that I'm not or rather of not being the person that I really am. Everything I have stored is now eating me up inside. I want to let go of all the inhibitions I've placed on myself. I have enough things to blame for my closing up but what's the point, I'll just be a victim of life and that's what I don't want to be, a victim. I will not be pitied. I, am responsible for whatever I become, not my circumstances, I am responsible for my life not the people around me. It might be hard but I'll take it step by step, not being afraid to be me.

Okay, before your mind starts doing 360, I am not a lesbo ok?!Its just other stuff bout me that peeps don't know. I hate acknowledging the bitter parts of my life, it's just that sometimes they come up and it's stuff that nobody knows I've been through or I still go through so there's no one to talk to it about and I just have to let it out somewhere. Thank God for anonymity in the blog world.

Y'all have a safe week. Bless!

Admirers

2006-10-15T16:26:00.001+01:00

Hey everyone! I've been quite busy in skool so I haven't really had time to blog. Yesterday we had socials and it was half crap- half alrite, we were actually dancing to YMCA I mean... but it was quite fun watching all the drunk people perform. There was this particular girl, her boyfriend broke up with her like 2 weeks ago because she slept with another guy when she was drunk. Anyways, so yesterday, the girl now got drunk and started begging the boyfiend to dance with her, he refused cuz as at now he hates her, then she started shouting and punching the guy and begging at the same time. As if that was not enough madness for one night, she pulled off her top on the dance floor. I just couldn't help laughing!

Nyways, I've been seeing the reviews on the Thisday show and I'm so sad I wasn't in Naija for it but it's not like if I was in Naija I would have gotten the 25k to pay but at least I would have felt their effect more.

Thanks for the comments on my last post, though I can't publish them on my blog something was wrong but I've fixed it now for future comments.

Last week, we had to write on somebody we admired, dead or alive, that had affected the society in a good way, singers, politicians whatever and present it to the class.I didn't get to give the presentation but I was gonna talk about Bono. I think he's really wonderful. I'm not so into his music (although its really good) but I think what he's done with the live8 thing is amazing. He's so selfless and very determined to help these poor countries have a better life and he's done it not just by asking for donations and all that but through his talent music.

So if you guys had to write on the same topic, who would you write about and why? I would like to know!thanks

That's all folks till next time. Hasta la bista!

I can't be bothered to think of a title

2006-09-24T18:54:00.001+01:00

Hope you guys had a nice weekend, cuz I did. I went to watch Children of Men in the cinema and it was really cool although it was sad, it was a really good movie. It was quite a scary illustration of the future with all women being infertile and london being as horrible as that!

On to something else, I,ve been thinking about somethings. what do you guys think is the right age to start dating? I have my own views on this and I think the right age is 16( this is not becos i'm sixteen too). Some of you are probably thinking "SIXTEEN no way! how can you start dating at sixteen?" well, what age did you start dating? huh? and by dating I don't mean actually sleeping with a guy. Which brings me to another question , can a guy and a girl "go out together" without actually sleeping together?

Also what are your views on inter-racial dating? (I'm hoping thats what its called). Personally, actually no, theoretically, I think its alright but practically i don't know if I would ever. There's this german guy in my school that I kind of fancy but the only problem is he's german. I know this sounds racist but I guess its the way I was brought up. Not that my parents are racist, they actually have friends from lots of places and I also have lots of freinds from other backgrounds but thats freindship not an actual relationship. My mother would probably go bonkers if in future I decide to marry an ibo man (which is very likely considering the fact that Lemar has Ibo roots).

In secondary school most of my Ibo friends didn't mind marrying Yoruba men but most Yoruba girls didnt think they would marry outside their tribe? I dont know about hausas cuz I had only one hausa friend, who was practically yoruba, and she was open to all tribes. So does our culture influence our choices or is it just individual differences?

I know my questions are kinda wierd but I just want to know what people think about such stuff.

One more thing, this week we were having a class and we were talking about the Richest and the poorest countries in terms of GNP per person. One chinese guy actually had the guts to say Nigeria was one of the poorest countries! I had to give the guy some education on Nigeria. Thankfully the teacher agreed with me that Nigeria is definitely not one of the poorest countries. One of my classmates actually asked me if we lived in normal houses or huts in Nigeria! I keep explaining to these people that Nigeria is not a jungle and although its not as developed or as economically stable as Britain it's not as bad as they think. I don't really blame them anyway cuz the only pictures they ever see of the place are filled with hungry looking children and dirty roads. I wonder why no one ever shows them the nice parts of Nigeria but then again wouldn't we just be fooling ourselves if we only showed the nice parts and totally forgot about the horrible parts and the poor people.

Anyhoo, you guys have a nice week and please leave your comments!Ciao!

A whole new world

2006-09-09T21:01:00.000+01:00

Wow, its been such a long time! I've been so busy, I just started school in a boarding house somewhere in the country in the north west of England, and it's been awesome.

Before I left, I though it was going to be horrible, I kept worrying about how I was going to survive. I had to live in the same house with white people for almost a year, which i thought would be very uncomfortable, I had to eat nothing but disgusting british food, i would be cut off from the modern city life of london and the shops i had grown to love. Oh!, it was unbearable to think about. I kept begging my mother not to let me go but she kept on telling me that I would be alright and that I was just being silly.

Anyway, on the set date my mother dragged me along to the school and dumped me there (ok.., she didn't dump me there, she was actually reluctant to leave) . So, there I was all on my own in this new strange place. Until I found out that my room mate was not only a nigerian but MY SECOND COUSIN! and that they were also two other nigerian guys there. I actually went to the same school as one of them for a year and my sister knows the other one. Plus the food isn't all that bad, although it takes a bit of adjusting to but its not bad at all. To add more icing on the cake, today we actually got to visit the nearby town of lancaster and I was reunited with most of my shops.

So, so far its been really far from the horrible experience i was thinking it would be , the people have been really nice and I've started getting comfortable and I'm hoping it stays this way. In a way I'm so happy I came down here cuz it gives me an opportunity to experience a totally different world and so many things I would never have done ordinarilly and I might actually come out a better person. I almost let the fear of being in a place stop me from experiencing wonderful things. So, from now on I've decided to always be ready to explore new horizons if somebody else has done it, you can do it too!

Free songs

2006-08-09T20:41:00.000+01:00

I am now faced with the dilemma of where to get songs to download. This wasn't a problem before, as I was a major dealer in limewire and the rest until some one told me it was illegal. Well, I'm not totally convinced because it's so easy and it's FREE, tell me, what wrong with that!

Anyway, even if I don't totally agree, the person has made me aware that it might be wrong. As a result every time I want to download some songs, my conscience doesn't allow me because I begin to remember all the stupid things the guy was saying about robbing artists of their money and that as I want to become an artist myself in future, I shouldn't do that else people will also rob me. I mean puleease!, those guys already have so much money , they wouldn't mind if they got robbed off of just a few dollars...Plus if I was as rich as those guys, I wouldn't mind too!

Despite my arguments , I still can't get to downloading the songs (I don't know the kind of mashmallow conscience I have!) so now I'm looking for an alternative way to get my songs but what do you guys think, is it really wrong?

Onto something else, I just found out about this really cool gospel group called four kornrez. They are four Nigerian brothers (brothers.. asin of the same father) Deji, TJ, Vidal and Daniel(check them out in the pic above...aren't they cute, that's just by the way) who grew up in Lagos but later moved to London. I've only heard one of their songs called "yes I know" and I was able to download it for free (they were giving it out, I didn't steal from them) and I loved it. They have this jazzy modern fresh sound, you can listen to a sample of their songs on their website or their myspace page(where they were giving the free download, Hurry you might still be able to get it!)here's the link free download.

Tacky lines or worse... stalkers!

2006-07-22T15:07:00.000+01:00

It's so annoying when guys come up to you on the road and ask " can you be my girlfriend?" or start confessing undying love, I mean plsss, the day before you didn't even know I existed and the next day You're in love with me! How stupid can guys be?

So yesterday I went out to do some shopping with one of my friends. She just moved with her sis into a new flat and she wanted to get some household stuff. As we were going into one of the shops, I noticed two guys also entered the shop with us. We bought some things there and left the shop. As we were going into the next shop, one of the guys said hi and kept going so I just thought he mistook me for someone else. When we entered the next shop the same guys came in behind us. Coincidence right?.... Yeah, that's what my friend and I were saying until the same guys followed us out of the shop and to the bus stop.

That was when I started getting scared, It's not normal for two black guys dressed like hooligans to be following you about in London. All the stories I'd heard about people being killed by the roadside for no apparent reason, started haunting me. We kept waiting for them to get into one of the buses that kept coming but they didn't. The stupid bus we were supposed to take was wasting time and the guys were still standing there.

We now started planning our escape route. We were going to jump on the next bus that came and when the guys get on the bus we would quickly get out of the bus through the other door. Ha! Writing the plan makes it look stupid but at the time it was the best we could come up with. Unfortunately or fortunately for us the next bus that came was the one we had been waiting for , so we just fashied the plan and told ourselves that it was daylight, the couldn't do anything to us in full view of everyone and that we were probably just exaggerating they weren't following us.

Lo and behold the guys followed us into the bus and sat down right at the back of us! It was not funny at all because me and my friend could not even talk of what to do again because they would hear us , I tried speaking to her in yoruba but she reminded me that they might be Nigerians. So we sat there laughing about our situation but not talking about it, we decided to talk about other things like "LAST PRAYERS!".

We were almost at our destination when one of the guys tapped me and said "hello", I didn't know whether to laugh or cry but instead I just smiled at the guy. Next thing he said was " Immediately I saw your pretty face, I knew today was my birthday, that's why I've been following you" My friend and I just started laughing, from relief but mostly because of the two stupid guys. They must have been very jobless. Luckily for us we were getting down at the next stop so we just ran out of the bus.

I mean what planet are these guys from, it's one thing to use very stupid chat up lines and it's entirely another thing to scare the hell out of some one and use stupid chat up lines.

Ego le

2006-07-14T21:00:00.000+01:00

I know I should blog more often but mehn it's almost impossible to. I always have so many things to do and believe blogging is always the furthest thing from now. But, hopefully all that will Change now cuz school's gone out for the summer. Although I've been feeling a bit down lately, the fact that I don't have to get up at 6:30 anymore and endure the stupid remarks from my teacher, is enough to lift my spirits.

Anyways, right now things are not that interesting. Everyone's traveling for summer and I'm desperately looking for a job. Mehn, this job hunt thing is very annoying in London oh!I've dropped about thirty c.v's in even some stores whose names I can't remember. I started this job hunt about two weeks ago, so that I could get a headstart before all the desperate people who had run out of money and were ready to take on a extra part-time summer job.
The job thing is really depressing me because I really need cash. I'm (by God's grace) going to Lagos this Christmas and I can't go empty handed. All my family members (some of who I've not spoken to in the past year I've been in London) will come barging into my house demanding their Christmas gifts. The thing is I just can't turn them away empty handed because I used to do the same thing back then! SO, to do this I have to get money and to get money I need a job(or do u have any other brilliant ideas on how to get money!) and time is running out( u know time is money now!). I only have this summer break to get a job cuz after that it's back to school. It's at times like this I wish my father was a billionaire.

There is hope!

2006-07-05T22:50:00.000+01:00

I was very suprised when i saw a picture of John legend with a naija nodel called Tayo Otiti on someone's blog. The first thing that came to my mind was "All the way". It would have been a different thing if it was someone like Oluch onweagba he was going out with but to hear he's going out with a Nigerian who's not been in the limelight before! Anyways, thats really good for them. Although I like John Legend , i don't love him enough to be jealous of her instead she gives me hope.
For years, I've been announcing to the whole world that I am in love with Lemar Obika . Sure they all laugh at me and I really just say it for jokes but mehn! I really love that bloke. I had his poster in my locker in secondary school and every morning , I would look at it before going to class and send him a kiss. I also have this friend who also loves Lemar so we' were always claiming him publicly and all fighting for his love that was never there. One time I heard he was performing in marks and spencer for their anniversary and it was free. I was so happy, my friend and I jumped on the bus and we were so happy on the way imagining all the things we would do or say if we saw him. Ha! all for us to get there and for them to tell us he had gone already. Mehn! that was such a joke, I was so devasted. I couln't face going home and getting laughed at with remarks such as " After all the noise you were making "( and believe me we made a lot of noise about it) . So, till this day both our families think we saw Lemar for real and that we spoke to him.
So as I was saying this John legend and Tayo story gives me hope that one day it'll hit the newstands that "Lemar is going out with a naija model"(The model being me). It'll just be like a deja vu. The same story but with different characters.( don't you dare say dream on sista )
Talking about deja vu, have you guys heard Beyonce's new song with Jay-z called deja vu. The song is hot. That's now my favourite song (for this week anyway,Ill have a new one next week). Anyways, I've got to get ready for school tommorow (aarrgh!) so bye.

Dejunking

2006-06-16T17:31:00.000+01:00

Wish my head was this clear
My mind is going through a dejunking process right now. This is because lately my thoughts have been filled with so many things. There always so many emotions, memories, plans, worries going through my head. And now I'm almost drowning in them and I barely have space to think about other things. Since my thoughts were so clouded, I couldn't think straight when it came to important things like God, school and all the other things i was supposed to be thinking about. I just couldn't get my priorities straight. I really miss those days when i didn't think about anything, when I never had trouble sleeping because my head was brimming with thoughts , I only thought when I needed to say something or I was trying to remember stuff during exams or when I had to call the coming week's hairstyle. So I decided I was going to stop thinking. But how can I? So I decided I was just gonna reduce the things I thought about and clear my mind to give it enough space to think clearly about the things I ought to. So my main prorities are
1.God,establishing and maintaining a relationship with him
2. School, to continue to learn everything that i can and excel in this area
3. Myself, taking care of myself and making sure I always keep a clear head to be able to plan for my future
Mostly, i just want to live life to my satisfaction and get the best out of it so that I don't have any regrets later and I can't do this without a clear head. If I keep thinking about things I want to do but never do them, my thoughts are just a waste of time. It's better to go out and do them rather than just thinking about it. Moreover, if I think too much I will just kill myself and believe me, I'm not ready to die. So here's to a long life with a clear head!

So little yet so much

2006-06-14T16:42:00.000+01:00

Like her I can't resist the windows

These days, I find myself wanting almost everything I see and I can't help but see! This is because on my way to and from school, I have to go through the shopping mall and once I see the beautiful displays, I'm like a zombie. I have to go in and check out the store. You're probably thinking that once I get in, I'm going to spend all my life savings or at least come out with a thing or two. But thats were you're wrong, I barely spend a penny.
Why? because I've got no cash to spend. I,ve got no job and I don't get ema(education maintenance allowance) from school. How do I survive? Basicaly I rely on small change from my many uncles and aunties and money from my mum only when a member of my family goes to lagos, Nigeria. Sadly, my source of income has been going down lately. When I first arrived in london, only last year, my family members were very generous and were always blessing me with money. This was because they hadn't seen my face in a long while and since i was just coming from Nigeria, they wanted to feel like big london aunties and uncles. Now, after about 10 months of seeing my face, it has lost its effect on them and now that I have become one of them that is a london gal, they don't have to feel big anymore. So as my face becomes more familiar, the money i recieve reduces.
The little money i get is spent on transport and other very basic things. It's not like I really need money, i just want to buy clothes and shoes and make up and basically anything that catches my eye. So now i have started looking for a job(against my mum's wish, she doesn't think i need any money apart from what I get from her. Ha!) so i can satisfy my ojukokoro (greedy) eyes.

Good looks

2006-06-09T20:48:00.000+01:00

Everybody wants to look good, they wanna have Jessica alba's face on jlo body. Because their is so much pressure to be beautiful, so every one tries to hide their imperfections and become these beautiful people. While it's a good thing to be beautiful, the truth is not everybody can be Jessica alba and Jennifer Lopez at the same time .We all think that if we had a prettier face, life would be better or we would have more friends or if we weren't so fat, we wouldn't feel insecure, or will be able to have the confidence we need. True, a pretty

face will attract more friends but if you were insecure when you were ugly you'll be insecure when you're beautiful, if you want to have friends, go out and make them yourself don't wait for your pretty face to attract them to you. Once you feel beautiful on the inside you can do even more than what a pretty person can do. If you felt beautiful on the inside you wouldn't be afraid to walk in a room and be the centre of attention because your mind wouldn't be dwelling on how many wrinkles or spots you have on your face it' ll be dwelling on how your beautiful inside can touch the people around you.

Da vinci's code

2006-05-14T21:20:00.000+01:00

You should see the amount of people carrying this Da Vinci code book ,written by Dan Brown, reading it on the trains and on the bus! At first, I thought it was just another good book I had to read but then I started hearing stuff about the book. I heard it was a book that blasphemed Jesus and portrayed him as a liar. So, as a good Christian, I decided that I was not going to read it because number 1. It was anti-Christian and
2. It might make me question my beliefs.
I also decided I was going to write about it on this blog, to try and discourage people from reading or watching it. But I later discovered, through an article from the outflow magazine by Jesus house, that the book didn't actually portray Jesus in a bad light. It said Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and they had children, it didn't say they had an affair or they had children out of wedlock. Rather it shows the catholic church in a bad light. According to the book, the catholic church is guilty of hiding "the true Jesus" from us, it claims that the Catholics concealed this secret to undermine the role of women in the church. But how do we know the Jesus portrayed in the book is indeed true?
Well, that's left for you to decide. Really, the only people who should be worried are the heads of the catholic church, because the book (if right) means they have been lying to the world and believe me they are worried because they have called a fast till death as a protest for the movie not to be released. This leaves me wondering what are they really fighting for? Are they really hiding something?Because the book doesn,t really pose a threat to Christianity,the main thing is that neither theory denies that he(Jesus) died to save us and that is what really matters. Jesus being married with kids doesn't make his death less of a sacrifice or his life less holy. Whichever way, are you going to believe a fiction based novel written by one guy like that called Dan brown, who probably just thought writing this sort of story will bring him loads of money or a 2,000 year old story proven to be true and supported by the scriptures?

What am I doing here!

2006-05-03T18:31:00.000+01:00

Ok, I have to admit I'm getting the jitters. I've been going through most of the blogs and it's scary.Most of the blogs I've seen are written by people in their 2o's and 30's talking about work, men and just generally older peoples stuff. Plus my writing skills are just developing (although it has made me to start thinking "maybe I should become a journalist").This is making me think "is it just me or am I just totally inappropriate for this blogging stuff?" Don't get me wrong I'm not going to stop instead I'm more challenged to make it work but I'm thinking who am I going to make it work for. I mean, if I post really intersting stuff everyday and there is no audience, what's the use! In short, am I sure somebody is reading this!
Now, I don't want to sound too whiny(who are you kidding?),I know I might come across as a confused teenager but hey! can you blame me. I'm still trying to figure out who I am in this ever changing world. I just hope there is a teenage audience in blogosphere or infact any one who can relate to the things i'm going to be writing if not...... let's not go there yet.For now,I'll just keeping writing in as good and as frequently as I can.